JustMeInWI

One of my dear cousins came in to visit from out of state. I have separated from my RAH and had my own place since the last time she visited, and (as stated in previous posts) I have stopped trying to explain/defend myself to my mom & RAH.

My cousin comes to me and says, "Ok. So I want to know what's really going on, because I was told by another source that the reason you've left your husband and moved into your own place is because you're on a diet and it's causing you to be mentally unstable." Now, this is a cousin who lives on the other side of the country and does not talk with the local relatives often... so my suspisions have been confirmed. She received this info from my mom who received it from my stbX-RAH. I have a very large extended family (my mom had 11 siblings, I have 30 cousins, most adults). This cousin also knows me better than most of the extended family, which is why she came to me for the REAL story.

I'm seeing a doctor, a counselor, AND a psychologist/therapist all regularly. They're all telling me how good I'm doing at taking care of myself and making the right choices for me through all the crap RAH is throwing my way. So I know for ME that I'm doing the right thing, and that I'm not mentally unstable and that I'm not bipolar or anything else (not even close).

But should I be doing something to defend myself to my family? Or do I go on not talking to people and not defending myself and letting them all believe I'm mentally unwell and making horrible choices for myself? I could write out that short/sweet explaination letter like I was recommended in previous post... but I'd have to send out over 40 of them and that seems like overkill or like I'm trying too hard...

I don't know what to do.

MissFixit

I too questioned whether or not to defend lies told about me by my exabf. After stating my truth to a few friends, I have opted not to engage.

MissFixit

I don't think the active A's can handle the truth...pun intended.

Barbara52

I didn't talk to many of the mutual friends/acquaintences xAH and I shared. I didn't talk to any of his family. I don't care what they think of me. If they choose to believe whatever nonsense xAH tells them, it is of no concern to me.

Those who know and care for me know my truth, know who and what I am. Those who knew xAH without some filter know who and what he is.

embraced2000

it was all so crazy and insane that there was no explaining. who in the world would begin to understand unless they had been there? that's why i loved al-anon and the recovery forums.....no explanation needed.