JBones77

Alcohol is a problem for me.

I had my first drink when I was about 18. I was over my Uncles house and spending the night and he let me have some beers. I loved it immediately. I loved the way it made me feel. I've spent the last 12 years drinking. I haven't gone more than a couple weeks without a drink during that time period.

I've thought about stopping before, but I was never completely serious about it till now. I tried to convince myself before that I could just cut back or drink socially, but it doesn't work. I know now, that I have to stop for good. Luckily I am still young and relatively healthy and hopefully have a long life ahead of me...so I am going to stop now before that is no longer the case.

Part of the issue is that I suffer from anxiety and self-medicate with alcohol. Basically hiding from my issues and problems instead of dealing with them. No more!

I'm gonna take back control of life.

TryingSoHard

Good for you! Admitting you have a problem is a great first step, but adding to that that you want to stop is even better! It's a great thing that you can see that you're having problems because of alcohol and that you want to fix that before things get out of hand.

I hope you've had a chance to explore the site a little and read posts. You'll find that the people here are very supportive and encouraging. Take note of the "sticky" threads at the top of each forum, too.

Welcome to SR.

Anna

I'm glad you recognize that you have a problem.

Pelican

Good for you!

Welcome to the SR family!

When I was ready to begin living without alcohol, I discovered this wonderful site. I lurked and read a lot of the posts and stickies at the top of each section. This link was a real eye opener to me, it helped me understand how alcohol had taken control of my mind and body:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

JBones77

Thanks for the welcome. I haven't had much time to explore this site yet, but I will.

Yeah, I think I've pretty much known for a real long time that I have a problem, but I couldn't fully admit it, because that would mean I'd have to stop drinking. It's caused many a problem in my life, and really, no good has ever come of it.

Sure it was fun early on, when I was younger and "partying" with friends and there was that social aspect to it...and it was something new and fun. But "being more social", really just became an excuse to drink...and then ironically, I became more anti-social because I would drink so fast and so much that I could barely function enough to hold a conversation.

Then remove the social situations and the drinking continued anyway. It's no longer something fun...the idea of it is more fun than the actual drinking, if that makes any sense.

Pelican

Makes sense!

Welcome to the land where what seems weird and abnormal is perfectly normal to us! A lot of us started out drinking to be socially correct and ended up being anti-social closet drinkers. Ever gone out to dinner with friends and limited yourself to one cocktail and/or one glass of wine, then go home and drink at least a bottle of wine alone? Yep, not pretty!

You can turn your life around! Sobriety rocks!

Blue77

You make so much sense. Your story sounds exactly like mine. I'm 31. I started at 14 and it becamee worse and worse until it took over my life. I'm been trying to get sober for years. I had a period of time when I didn't drink, I was pregnant. Then went right back to it. That period was the best time of my life. I'm working to get back there. Keep coming here...this site has helped me out so much. I wish you the best of luck on your sobriety. Please keep posting. It always helps to know there is someone out there who is going through the same thing.

bugsworth

Welcome! Most of us do finally quit when we have had enough. Funny thing is our brain remembers all the fun we had...part of being human is the ability to forget pain...otherwise women would have only one child. lol Maintaining sobriety means staying focused on the results of our past drinking and always remembering where it leads us. I never want to go back there...sounds like you don't either. Best of luck...keep posting and never forget.

JBones77

Ha! Yeah I guess we all have our share of "stories"

Yep, I've done that limiting while out and then drinking at home...and then woke up the next morning and continued where I left off and said, "what the hell, it's a Saturday and I've got nothing to do, who cares that it's 8 in the morning"!!!

So much wasted time

and thanks for that link, I'm reading it now.

tkdan

Hey JBones, welcome to SR. You've come to the right place for support. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

JBones77

Thanks. I plan to stick around. Good luck to you too

Lindsay

Oh, I know this idea of drinking in the morning after a long night all too well. When I would fall into this routine in the past is when I had my long, exhausting binges. Go out drinking Friday night, wake up still slightly tipsy, and find it perfectly acceptable to just keep on going! These are the instances that when the hangover stage kicks in I'd always say to myself, "never again!" only to pick up a day later. :wtf2

I'm at the point now where I'm trying to focus on how I'd feel Monday morning at work...and compare that to how I am feeling sober, now. AND remind myself that I truely am powerless over alcohol. I can't control it!

It seems like that is a realization that you have come to as well. So welcome!!!

Fubarcdn

Welcome J. I wish that there were sites like this when I first tried to quit in 1987. (made it 3 months). I wish there was an internet back then for that matter. I found this place now and am just starting out this month also. Oh well, better late than never. Good luck.

KenL

JBones,
Can you say to yourself, "I am an alcoholic?" Can you say it and believe it? Or do you find yourself in between the idea that you have a character defect and don't suffer from a permanent neurological disease. It took me a loooooong time, let's see, 12 years, to come to the conclusion that the latter half of that sentence is the truth for me. I only learned it recently. Read about the disease. It is progressive and ends in sobriety or death. It's good that you can admit you have a problem. But reread my first two sentences and really think about the answers you come up with.

It is good you will come back. May I suggest that you come back daily for at least an hour. Read a lot and post a lot. It is really helping me to stay sober and I think it well help you as well.

shanman422

Welcome! I relate to you in many ways! This is a great place to come for support... keep reading and posting! I found that my anxiety decreased A TON after I stopped drinking. I have only been sober for 91 days, but I often drank more because of my anxiety (we rationalize everything in our favor when being an alcoholic, and find silly reasons to drink more)... anyways... I wanted to share that my anxiety is far less now!!!

Shannon

JBones77

I am an alcoholic. I know I am. It's the only thing that can explain why I would continuously poison myself with alcohol despite all of it's negative effects on my life. Cause I'm not a stupid person. But what's that saying..."If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results...that's the definition of insanity". Well I'm done with the insanity.

adore79

Welcome JBones, glad you signed up!

JBones77

Thanks. I know that my anxiety is at it's worst following a day of drinking and is progressively worse after multiple days of drinking. But it is more manageable when I am not drinking for a few days. I'm looking forward to being able to handle my anxiety without drinking and look forward to all of the other benefits that will come from not drinking.

C23

JBones, thanks for starting this thread and good luck to you. As I am starting day one again today, it is good to know there will be people, I can talk to as we all go through our battle for sobriety. Again, congrats and good luck.

James13

Welcome, JBones. Good to see you here, and it seems like you know where you are and where you intend to go. Everything you have said about addiction makes sense.

Keep posting, I'd like to know how you are doing on this journey. Peace.