Is AA the right way! Not for me.
Too far from the beach
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Is AA the right way! Not for me.
I first want to write that for many, AA works and extremely effective especially for those who need to connect to others with the same problem. If you go to AA and it helps than keep it up and don't stop.
However.. for me I found that sitting around with a bunch of people bitching about alcohol is depressing. It also keeps the idea of booze in my head and like a dieter who should stop thinking so much about food, I need to stay away from the constant remind of what I cannot have and just move on with new ideas and activities in my life that will take the place of bad behavior.
I will also not rely on the grace of "GOD" to fix my problems. I have to have control of my recovery not "GOD" whom by the way I have never seen, heard, nor met.
I also WILL NOT surrender my self to to booze. Forget that! When you fight you don't surrender for any reason. I believe I can fight it and I refuse to call myself an alcholic forever. When I deem myself recovered I will label myself "a person who does not drink."
It took a lot of thought to come up with this since I have always been led to believe that AA is the true way and "you will always be an alcoholic." Hey, when you stop smoking are you always "a smoker?" When you stop biting your nails are you always a "nail biter?" When you stop smoking pot are you always a "pot smoker?" NO NO only alcoholics get that "fine" label.
Sorry if I offended anyone, I just was hoping to vent a few of my feelings to see if anyone else feels the same way. There has got to be a better way than AA.
However.. for me I found that sitting around with a bunch of people bitching about alcohol is depressing. It also keeps the idea of booze in my head and like a dieter who should stop thinking so much about food, I need to stay away from the constant remind of what I cannot have and just move on with new ideas and activities in my life that will take the place of bad behavior.
I will also not rely on the grace of "GOD" to fix my problems. I have to have control of my recovery not "GOD" whom by the way I have never seen, heard, nor met.
I also WILL NOT surrender my self to to booze. Forget that! When you fight you don't surrender for any reason. I believe I can fight it and I refuse to call myself an alcholic forever. When I deem myself recovered I will label myself "a person who does not drink."
It took a lot of thought to come up with this since I have always been led to believe that AA is the true way and "you will always be an alcoholic." Hey, when you stop smoking are you always "a smoker?" When you stop biting your nails are you always a "nail biter?" When you stop smoking pot are you always a "pot smoker?" NO NO only alcoholics get that "fine" label.
Sorry if I offended anyone, I just was hoping to vent a few of my feelings to see if anyone else feels the same way. There has got to be a better way than AA.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
There are many different recovery programs out there, as well as many who use no 'program' at all, just their own will and determination. You seem to have a lot of strength. I'm glad you're using your strength to stay sober. Whatever gets you to the light...
:ghug3
:ghug3
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 164
i go to aa and love it!!! the meetings i attend are not bitch sessions...just a bunch of alkies sharing our experience, strength and hope! it works for me!!
but for whatever works for you to stay sober, i say...awesome and keep up the good work...no judgements!!
Lisa
but for whatever works for you to stay sober, i say...awesome and keep up the good work...no judgements!!
Lisa
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
hi and thanks for the post..
I am a member of AA........but im not arrogant enough to think its the ONLY way.
Its great that you are so positive and found a way that works for you...happy contented sobriety is a goal we all have....and share hopefully.
I have done some meetings which are full of bleeting and whinging.....so i went off and found meetings that suited my positive attitude...
One thing that has changed over the years with me is.......i accept other people have an opinon and that "my way" is not everyones one.
Nice post and thankyou...........trucker.
I am a member of AA........but im not arrogant enough to think its the ONLY way.
Its great that you are so positive and found a way that works for you...happy contented sobriety is a goal we all have....and share hopefully.
I have done some meetings which are full of bleeting and whinging.....so i went off and found meetings that suited my positive attitude...
One thing that has changed over the years with me is.......i accept other people have an opinon and that "my way" is not everyones one.
Nice post and thankyou...........trucker.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Here is a "Sticky" at the top of the Alcoholism Forum that should be of help:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
There are several recovery programs out there today.
Hope the above helps.
Love and hugs,
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
There are several recovery programs out there today.
Hope the above helps.
Love and hugs,
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I feel the same way, only I've never been to a meeting. I am grateful that I don't have the compulsions so many here do. I think I would have to consider AA if I felt I had a disease that was uncontrollable for/by me, and I am just thankful I don't. I applaud your cojones for making this post. Keep on keepin on=)
Moving out of Limbo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
AA encourages a lifestyle change that makes active drinking harder to take root.
But yes, other groups do exist that focus on just the drinking and not really the lifestyle that creates it.
Good luck to you. Hope you find what works for you.
But yes, other groups do exist that focus on just the drinking and not really the lifestyle that creates it.
Good luck to you. Hope you find what works for you.
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
I'm not an AAer, although I did attend for six months... I'm with you on many of your points here.
For me at least, sitting around with other alcoholics for two, three, five hours a week is not beneficial. Mentally, it keeps me tied down to "what's wrong with me" instead of focusing on the rest of my life. And I'll be honest, I don't always feel safe in the rooms. Physically, to some extent: there are some real creepers in the rooms, at least here. Most of my discomfort is mental, though: I have been told flat-out by my (ex-)sponsor and others that I will drink again because I don't believe in God, or because I'm on antidepressants, or because I don't pray out loud and on my knees every day (no, really, that's what my sponsor said). Sorry, but I'm not going to let myself be brought down by that kind of sh*t.
BUT. AA is a lifesaver for millions of people, and for many alcoholics it's a literal godsend. I always tell the newcomer to try and make at least four or five meetings before dismissing AA, because it does help so many people. It's a wonderful organization... it's just not for me.
For me at least, sitting around with other alcoholics for two, three, five hours a week is not beneficial. Mentally, it keeps me tied down to "what's wrong with me" instead of focusing on the rest of my life. And I'll be honest, I don't always feel safe in the rooms. Physically, to some extent: there are some real creepers in the rooms, at least here. Most of my discomfort is mental, though: I have been told flat-out by my (ex-)sponsor and others that I will drink again because I don't believe in God, or because I'm on antidepressants, or because I don't pray out loud and on my knees every day (no, really, that's what my sponsor said). Sorry, but I'm not going to let myself be brought down by that kind of sh*t.
BUT. AA is a lifesaver for millions of people, and for many alcoholics it's a literal godsend. I always tell the newcomer to try and make at least four or five meetings before dismissing AA, because it does help so many people. It's a wonderful organization... it's just not for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
It's ok to have those thought as u do, because
i as well had them. No Im not an alcoholic because
i take after my grandfather who can drink anyone
under the table and never get drunk. Still
today i will never know if he was ever an alcoholic
because i never saw him drive up the highway in
the wrong direction, or pull over to throw up, or
try to end his own life.
The only thing was told to me about him was
that he died of seroises of the liver......too
much alcohol over the yrs.
Hi Im Sharon and I am an alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP and people like
u here in SR I havent found it necessary
to pick up a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and u I am truely grateful.
Just because im an alcoholic doesnt mean
i freely go out an broadcast that i am. That
is why they call it Alcoholics Anonymous.
Ud think an alcoholic is a gutter drunk or
someone who has lost it all....well not everyone
is like that. I had to listen to others share
about their own ESH or where they came from,
what happened to them and where they are now
to understand.
When i had my accident in Feb 90 i hit a concrete
culvert sitting on top the ground sending
me to the hospital for 10 day. It took a few
months to heal almost perfectly without the use
of alcohol. During those months i had pain pills
to help heal.
In Aug. I thought it was safe to return to the
drink. Little did i know that when i stopped in
Feb. i only rested the urge to drink but the
desire to drink was still there. When i picked
up the drink the cravings grew stronger and
so did the obsession to drink. I couldnt stop
and i wanted more.
It was in Aug. that i tried to end my miserable
life and thus my family intervened doing for me
what i couldnt do for myself.
I was sent to rehab for 28 days and picked up
the TOOLS and KNOWLEDGE of what my Disease
of Alcoholism was all about. And that set me
on the road to recovery.
No, i dont wear a labal across my chest saying
Im an ALCOHOLIC. Just like we dont see those
with DIABETIES which is also a disease. As
well as CANCER.
A diabetic has a program to follow so they
dont have to take shots, right? If they dont
follow their program then there r consequenses.
One eats lots of sugar then what happens?
A alcoholic is allergic to alcohol. One drink
starts the progression and one cant stop.
A normal drinker doesnt have that problem.
I went to many meetings listening, absorbing
and heard others share what happened to
them when they couoldnt stop drinking. It
was so similar to my own. We had all been
there, done that, that i felt comfortable being
at those meetings. Being around others just like
me and being able to associate with them.
I now have something in common with those people
unlike the ones that can drink normally and dont
get into trouble.
Only u know if u r an alcoholic by the experiences
u have gone thru with alcohol.
Would a normal person do the things u have
done when u were drinking?
Thanks for letting me share.
i as well had them. No Im not an alcoholic because
i take after my grandfather who can drink anyone
under the table and never get drunk. Still
today i will never know if he was ever an alcoholic
because i never saw him drive up the highway in
the wrong direction, or pull over to throw up, or
try to end his own life.
The only thing was told to me about him was
that he died of seroises of the liver......too
much alcohol over the yrs.
Hi Im Sharon and I am an alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP and people like
u here in SR I havent found it necessary
to pick up a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and u I am truely grateful.
Just because im an alcoholic doesnt mean
i freely go out an broadcast that i am. That
is why they call it Alcoholics Anonymous.
Ud think an alcoholic is a gutter drunk or
someone who has lost it all....well not everyone
is like that. I had to listen to others share
about their own ESH or where they came from,
what happened to them and where they are now
to understand.
When i had my accident in Feb 90 i hit a concrete
culvert sitting on top the ground sending
me to the hospital for 10 day. It took a few
months to heal almost perfectly without the use
of alcohol. During those months i had pain pills
to help heal.
In Aug. I thought it was safe to return to the
drink. Little did i know that when i stopped in
Feb. i only rested the urge to drink but the
desire to drink was still there. When i picked
up the drink the cravings grew stronger and
so did the obsession to drink. I couldnt stop
and i wanted more.
It was in Aug. that i tried to end my miserable
life and thus my family intervened doing for me
what i couldnt do for myself.
I was sent to rehab for 28 days and picked up
the TOOLS and KNOWLEDGE of what my Disease
of Alcoholism was all about. And that set me
on the road to recovery.
No, i dont wear a labal across my chest saying
Im an ALCOHOLIC. Just like we dont see those
with DIABETIES which is also a disease. As
well as CANCER.
A diabetic has a program to follow so they
dont have to take shots, right? If they dont
follow their program then there r consequenses.
One eats lots of sugar then what happens?
A alcoholic is allergic to alcohol. One drink
starts the progression and one cant stop.
A normal drinker doesnt have that problem.
I went to many meetings listening, absorbing
and heard others share what happened to
them when they couoldnt stop drinking. It
was so similar to my own. We had all been
there, done that, that i felt comfortable being
at those meetings. Being around others just like
me and being able to associate with them.
I now have something in common with those people
unlike the ones that can drink normally and dont
get into trouble.
Only u know if u r an alcoholic by the experiences
u have gone thru with alcohol.
Would a normal person do the things u have
done when u were drinking?
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 83
Hi Lovinme,
I appreciate your post. I did not do AA. I put myself into a treatment program whereby I was treated medically for the body to get rid of cravings as well as having the subconsious mind treated through relaxation therapy. There was no giving your power away to something outside of you. The treatment was only 10 days. It has an 80% success rate and rated #1 in the world. Most insurance covers it. However, this post is not to knock AA, I just went a different path because of my belief systems and chose the treatment that I felt would benefit me the most. You can email me if you want more information. There are alot of treatment programs out there. Take Care!
I appreciate your post. I did not do AA. I put myself into a treatment program whereby I was treated medically for the body to get rid of cravings as well as having the subconsious mind treated through relaxation therapy. There was no giving your power away to something outside of you. The treatment was only 10 days. It has an 80% success rate and rated #1 in the world. Most insurance covers it. However, this post is not to knock AA, I just went a different path because of my belief systems and chose the treatment that I felt would benefit me the most. You can email me if you want more information. There are alot of treatment programs out there. Take Care!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
This is a great thread. Thanks!
I have tried AA and it did not work for me. I really have appreciated the LifeRing and Smart Recovery writings - have been to meetings of both of those groups too. I don't think fact to face meetings are going to be the answer for me, but it is great to know they are there if I need them, and I appreciate the wisdom of sharing with a community of people who are on the same path.
For me (newly sober) this forum is functioning for me as my "meeting a day" type role. I have a few books I read every day too - Changing for Good and Sober for Good are two of them, along with he LifeRing and Smart Recovery handbooks.
You are right that you have landed in forum of loving and supportive and accepting people. I feel very lucky to have found SR.
WELCOME
I have tried AA and it did not work for me. I really have appreciated the LifeRing and Smart Recovery writings - have been to meetings of both of those groups too. I don't think fact to face meetings are going to be the answer for me, but it is great to know they are there if I need them, and I appreciate the wisdom of sharing with a community of people who are on the same path.
For me (newly sober) this forum is functioning for me as my "meeting a day" type role. I have a few books I read every day too - Changing for Good and Sober for Good are two of them, along with he LifeRing and Smart Recovery handbooks.
You are right that you have landed in forum of loving and supportive and accepting people. I feel very lucky to have found SR.
WELCOME
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
So now you have determined what isn't right for you. I hope you have a plan B of what is. The key is to practice some program of change.
Drinking is just a symptom of our disease. Whether you believe alcoholism is a disease or not, the key is to understand why we drank and get to the root of the problem. We all have healing to do and need work sorting it out.
I found many reasons why AA wasn't right for me. More importantly, I had to put those reason aside and work on recovery, whether I liked it or not. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I also knew I needed to change to survive. I couldn't do it on my own so I turned toward something, anything, that could help me.
Good luck!
Drinking is just a symptom of our disease. Whether you believe alcoholism is a disease or not, the key is to understand why we drank and get to the root of the problem. We all have healing to do and need work sorting it out.
I found many reasons why AA wasn't right for me. More importantly, I had to put those reason aside and work on recovery, whether I liked it or not. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I also knew I needed to change to survive. I couldn't do it on my own so I turned toward something, anything, that could help me.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
If AA was simply about quitting drinking it would be a one step program. #1) "Quit Drinking"
The remaining 11 steps put away the Spiritual Malady.
I don't know if I've ever heard this happen in a meeting! If I did I would find a different meeting.
The remaining 11 steps put away the Spiritual Malady.
"However.. for me I found that sitting around with a bunch of people bitching about alcohol is depressing".
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Not for nothing and this might not be my place to say this but after reading the OP rant against AA, I'm feeling like the OP does not quite have the openness of mind (yet?) required to successfully undertake something as challenging as getting sober. There are many ways to the same destination but I think when we're dealing with alcoholism it really helps to have a totally open mind and to not be so particularly opposed to one method. Still, I wish you luck and hope you find whatever path it is that gets you where you want to go.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
