littlebird77

ABF is in jail, and says he is doing great. He goes to meetings, church and talks how much his head is clearing up. I got a call today and he tells me he is on Prozac now... This is where my mind goes:

Prozac -> Doctor's visits -> benzo request = back to the, well you know.

My mind is going crazy. My old memories are resurfacing and I am panicking as though he relapsed. I don't know what to tell him, because of course being the codie I don't want to upset him. I am upset that he told me how great he was feeling, and never told me that he thought of going on this. He told me his mom is on it... His mom is an addict herself! I didn't want to say this because I don't want to walk on those grounds of insulting his mother. But right there I see that as an excuse. How is his mother being on Prozac validate him being on it.

How crazy is it that I am ready to flip out because this man is going on an anti-depressant? WOW just when I thought I was healing well from this, I'm learning I still have a long way to go.

Have you guys had this happen? What did, do you do? I am so lucky to be alone right now, so my HP is really forcing me to focus on myself.

Freedom1990

You have no control over what he does/is going to do.

What are you doing for your recovery?

What exactly are you doing to heal?

littlebird77

I thought I was doing well.

greeteachday

Glad you are able to recognize your relapse When I relapse, I know it is time to pick myself up, brush myself off and circle back to Step 1. The powerlessness stuff can be truly empowering!

One other thought that I had as I read your post. To me, an anti depressant needed for a true medical condition isn't a door opening to relapse. I have never been on prozac, but I have been prescribed another anti depressant and it wasn't a "high" It helped get my chemical imbalance back in check and feel "normal" rather than in despair. Maybe it is the same for him? Many addicts self medicate to address mental health issues and part of staying clean is addressing the underlying reasons for using. Lots of prayers for both of you.

Seren

Yeah...I do lot of the "awfulizing the future" (winnie told me that). Not a nice panicky feeling. I've been working hard on concentrating on the present moment. What is going on today, right now....right now, your ABF is on an antidepressant and feels pretty good....tomorrow has not happened yet.

Hugs, HG

URMYEVERYTHING

Him going on Prozac isn't a bad thing. That is actually what he needs to avoid self medicating which eventually landed him in jail. Just think to yourself Prozac vs. Self Medicating. Which one has the most consequences that are negative???? Yep, it's self medicating.

Also, just because he is on Prozac doesn't mean they will rx him Benzos. Prozac works as an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication as well.

littlebird77

Thank you, I agree with you... Its not the Prozac itself, more or less where my mind takes me of the places any medication can lean an addict into. When I think Prozac or any sort of anti-depressant, I have yet to meet a doctor who will not prescribe a benzo with it if requested... I know many, many people take anti-depressants without a benzo. I just become worried that the benzo door is easier to get in now.

Though I really need to take 12 steps back, and tell myself if he wants to to anything he is going to do it. With or without me or an anti-depressant.

littlebird77

Oh PS, do I tell him how I feel and my fears? Or do I just keep it here?

winnie12

I wouldnt worry so much about what happens in the future. If it starts helping now then its fine. myself i found the anti-depressants didnt work for AS becuase he was using so many other illegal drugs that they counteracted the anti-depressants and made him more depressed. But while he's in a controlled situation it may actually help him to get to a point that he can address some of the real issues. The way i've looked at it is that as long as the doc knows everything then i'll leave it up to them because they are the ones with the medical degree - not me.

Chino

I know we have every right to express our fears but we're the ones who have to work through them. Besides, I'm kind of doubting they'll hand him benzos in jail. I suppose it happens, though.

scruffycat

As a former correctional officer we handed out all types of meds including benzos, and mild narcotics. Our job was to ensure that they swallowed them whole. Now 8yeasrs later i find myself addicted to Norcos, Prozac, and xanax...by Dr.'s scrip. We used suboxone to get me off the norcos ans oxy's . So i guess ad suboxone to the list.
doesn't feel like a real clean sobriety to me, in meeetings i feel pretty guilty.
thanks all jason

hello-kitty

Boundaries... consequences.... we draw these for us, not our loved ones.

Please dont put too much stock into what someone is telling you when they are in jail. It's what they do when they get out that counts. Hopefully you will have firm boundaries in place so that when your ex gets out, your life will not be devestated should he decide to return to the life he was living before he went to jail.

I'd trust your intuition on this one. Afterall, you know him better than any of us.

You can't change him or make him be the person you think he has potential to be. He is who he is. Doing what an addict does. Until he finds recovery (which doesn't come in the form of a pill) he will continue on his path.