Haunted

Hello all! I'm a junior undergrad psychology major. I've loved opiates since I was first given them after surgery in middle school. I quickly realized I could find more of the same pills in various places at home. I began stealing meds that had been prescribed up to 40 years ago for my parents. Since then I've been fascinated by drugs of all kinds, by changing my subjective experience of life. For a while I limited myself to marijuana and hallucinogens... it became my form of religion - I was so innocent and naive. Then last summer I realized I could attain opiates with a click of a button. That became the beginning of a 6-month long twice-daily lifestyle change. I lost all of my friends - not because they knew about what I was doing, but because I stopped needing social interactions. I've experienced withdrawal twice. Most recently, it was my 21st birthday/new years/christmas gift to myself. I haven't used opiates in 15 days, but now I'm relying on alcohol to get through each day. People use the term day-to-day living, but to me, living is a minute-to-minute (or second-to-second) constant struggle. Alcohol helps. I thought alcohol would be an acceptable solution to my problem with opiates, but now I'm wondering if I would be better off on opiates. I love being able to help others, but I have a terrible time accepting or expecting it from others. I saw a therapist yesterday and it felt nice to speak openly about my problems. I've always been able to hide my problems from my family and friends, so no one knows about my problem. I'm very excited to become a part of this community and I look forward to getting to know you who have been through similar situations. sooo... yeah. I hope this post isn't too annoyingly long.

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, haunted. good job on staying off the opiates for 15 days and seeking the help of a therapist.

sounds like you are trading one addiction for another by using the alcohol. not such a healthy idea.

keep reaching out! maybe some face to face na or aa meetings as well?

hugs, k

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I think sometimes people do substitute one addiction for another. I think it's because the drug or alcohol is just a symptom of the problems. So, until the underlying issues are addressed, it will be hard to recover. I am glad that you're getting therapy and I hope that it helps you with your addiction.

Keep reading and posting.

CarolD

I hope you can find your way into a sober healthy future.
Welcome to SR...

rebelTex

Hey Haunted. Welcome. I'm new here as of yesterday. I had a hydrocodone habit for 4 years. Up to 7,8,10 Norco a day, sometimes. I worked with the prescribing doc to taper off this past December. Like you, my alcohol intake zoomed up. I decided this week I couldn't take it anymore. I've ask for help via my partner, counselor, doc and found SD. It's nice not to be alone, but it's sad there are so many of us.

Hang out, I would like to hear more of your story.

Aysha

I think your better off without any of that stuff.
Substituting is a bad idea.
Keep posting. I hope you find some help.

Haunted

I'm just accepting the theory that substituting itself is a bad idea, but I haven't yet accepted it as a life-style change. I realize that the fact that I'm turning to another substance won't fix the original problem, but I feel like my problem with opiates was more immediately life-threatening than the problem that alcohol has the potential to (and already has) become. I'm scheduled for my second appointment with a therapist in two weeks from today, which I'm not happy about. Two weeks?! Will I be clean of opiates in two weeks and/or willing to get help from someone?