How to deal with life stresses without the drink??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 49
How to deal with life stresses without the drink??
Hi Friends,
I just need to talk right now. I have been on this site for awhile now, reading stories of struggles and inspiration. This has helped me a lot, just to realize this can be done. This morning I woke up, after drinking some wine last night, normal routine that I’m trying to break. When I wake up in the morning I feel nervous and very anxious. Sometimes, more lately, I will just take a drink of wine, just to kill the anxiety. Stupid I know. Sometimes I can get through the day without a drink, most times not. I felt crazy anxiety today and have been really wanting to try to get sober again. I was so strong this morning…forcing myself up, to work, to do things that I have been putting off. Then, I decide to check my credit card statement, one that I am in so much debt too…struggling so much to make payments each month (which I always do). I found out they raised my interest rate and my min. payment to something that I cannot not and will not ever be able to afford. I got all hot and sweaty, scared…and I was doing so well. All I wanted to do was get a drink to ease my nerves. I called the company to try and resolve this, with no outcome. I’m so stuck and scared…and I know alcohol won’t help, only hurt. But I’m scared and want to “relax” and forget for awhile. I have no alcohol in the house right now, I don’t want any, to tempting. But I have to leave work soon and I’m fighting this voice inside me that says drink, it will ease your pain. I guess I just wanted to talk. Maybe see if anyone else goes through this. Everytime you want to stop drinking, some stressful life thing comes up that is very scary and you just want that drink to escape. How does one get through this fight? Thanks everyone for listening. It helps to get it out.
I just need to talk right now. I have been on this site for awhile now, reading stories of struggles and inspiration. This has helped me a lot, just to realize this can be done. This morning I woke up, after drinking some wine last night, normal routine that I’m trying to break. When I wake up in the morning I feel nervous and very anxious. Sometimes, more lately, I will just take a drink of wine, just to kill the anxiety. Stupid I know. Sometimes I can get through the day without a drink, most times not. I felt crazy anxiety today and have been really wanting to try to get sober again. I was so strong this morning…forcing myself up, to work, to do things that I have been putting off. Then, I decide to check my credit card statement, one that I am in so much debt too…struggling so much to make payments each month (which I always do). I found out they raised my interest rate and my min. payment to something that I cannot not and will not ever be able to afford. I got all hot and sweaty, scared…and I was doing so well. All I wanted to do was get a drink to ease my nerves. I called the company to try and resolve this, with no outcome. I’m so stuck and scared…and I know alcohol won’t help, only hurt. But I’m scared and want to “relax” and forget for awhile. I have no alcohol in the house right now, I don’t want any, to tempting. But I have to leave work soon and I’m fighting this voice inside me that says drink, it will ease your pain. I guess I just wanted to talk. Maybe see if anyone else goes through this. Everytime you want to stop drinking, some stressful life thing comes up that is very scary and you just want that drink to escape. How does one get through this fight? Thanks everyone for listening. It helps to get it out.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Hi Blue - one thing I know for sure from past experience is that an alcoholic will always find an excuse to drink. I understand what you're going through with the interest rate and I'm sure you're troubled by it. Drinking will not help your situation at all.
I hope you find it in you to not stop at the liquor store; as you will be thankfull tomorrow morning. Treat yourself to something else when you get home. Make it through tonight and let us know how it goes.
I hope you find it in you to not stop at the liquor store; as you will be thankfull tomorrow morning. Treat yourself to something else when you get home. Make it through tonight and let us know how it goes.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
Hi Blue,
It's hard to find a way to deal with all the stuff in life, when you stop drinking.
The only way to do it, is just to do it. You will find that if you get through this issue today with the credit card company, and you don't drink, the next thing that happens will be easier to deal with.
It's hard to find a way to deal with all the stuff in life, when you stop drinking.
The only way to do it, is just to do it. You will find that if you get through this issue today with the credit card company, and you don't drink, the next thing that happens will be easier to deal with.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Three things I have to do:
1. Not to dwell. I know I don't drink, but when I tell myself that there often follows a "but..." I stay off that road. The buts, maybes and doubts are hard to manage if you entreat them. I just have to keep a firm "no!" and say it over and over if I have to.
2. Get preoccupied. My best weapon is to write, but television, cleaning, exercise... anything that engages you away from thinking about your finances or your drinking. I'm dealing with a seemingly impossible financial problem too. I gave myself time this afternoon to make calls, plan, etc. but it's late now and I'm pushing those worries aside until tomorrow.
3. Weather it. I had a good hour today where my anxiety was peaking. It hurt--physically even--but now that I've calmed down some I can see that it wasn't the end of the world after all. That bit of suffering stunk but in hindsight it was surely better than drinking.
1. Not to dwell. I know I don't drink, but when I tell myself that there often follows a "but..." I stay off that road. The buts, maybes and doubts are hard to manage if you entreat them. I just have to keep a firm "no!" and say it over and over if I have to.
2. Get preoccupied. My best weapon is to write, but television, cleaning, exercise... anything that engages you away from thinking about your finances or your drinking. I'm dealing with a seemingly impossible financial problem too. I gave myself time this afternoon to make calls, plan, etc. but it's late now and I'm pushing those worries aside until tomorrow.
3. Weather it. I had a good hour today where my anxiety was peaking. It hurt--physically even--but now that I've calmed down some I can see that it wasn't the end of the world after all. That bit of suffering stunk but in hindsight it was surely better than drinking.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
It is hard to deal with life on life's terms, but we have to do it anyway. There's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make worse. I too used to drink in the morning to stop the shakes. I stayed semi drunk all day, what a waste. Never got anything done, always lying to the kids and hiding my bottles. Life is still very stressful but at least sober, I can deal with it with a clear head and not depressed and anxiety ridden.
You can do this, just don't drink for today. Repeat every morning. Don't drink for today. You may want to give AA a try. Lots of support and experience in those rooms.
:ghug3
You can do this, just don't drink for today. Repeat every morning. Don't drink for today. You may want to give AA a try. Lots of support and experience in those rooms.
:ghug3
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
I know alcohol won’t help, only hurt.
Once you really, truly, have that out of the way I think it is easier to grasp new ideas.
Accepting life on life's terms, understanding reality, minimizing the ego.
New & interesting world out there without the alcohol to run to.
Keep coming back.
Once you really, truly, have that out of the way I think it is easier to grasp new ideas.
Accepting life on life's terms, understanding reality, minimizing the ego.
New & interesting world out there without the alcohol to run to.
Keep coming back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 49
Thanks everyone. I needed the encourgement. I didn't stop at the store. I'm home now with no alcohol in the house. I'm getting very anxious...trying to keep busy and trying not to stress. I have to make it though toinght, I will probably not get a lot of sleep but at least I will be sober. I just have to keep telling myself that alcohol will make things a whole lot worse and I can't deal with that. This is so very hard...I hate anxiety. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. Thanks for all the great posts...they are the reason why I can get through this. If I can get through toinght I can do it again. It's minute by minute for me right now...
Eternal optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: northeast
Posts: 293
Welcome Blue! You said 'without stopping at the store' ooh that's my trigger. Stopping off for bread turned into bread and wine, milk and wine, pop tarts and wine, whatever... I have to do all of my shopping at once accompanied by someone so I don't get sidetracked by all of the pretty wine lablels.
I can relate to the anxiety, I'm a constant worrier and perfectionist, drinking only makes me worry more often about more things and I can't do anything perfectly when I'm drinking or hungover so...I know I simply cannot drink. I came here to this site all freaked out, but reaching out and having the wonderful support offered here has helped tremendously. There is a whole section on this site about insomnia, it's very common when we put the bottle down. It does get better with time. Glad you're here
I can relate to the anxiety, I'm a constant worrier and perfectionist, drinking only makes me worry more often about more things and I can't do anything perfectly when I'm drinking or hungover so...I know I simply cannot drink. I came here to this site all freaked out, but reaching out and having the wonderful support offered here has helped tremendously. There is a whole section on this site about insomnia, it's very common when we put the bottle down. It does get better with time. Glad you're here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 49
Hey Toomutch, thanks for asking. It's very tough. I'm at work and having crazy anxiety. I feel like I need to get up from my desk every 5 minutes and walk around. I'm trying so hard to stick it out. I know if I drink again I will have to go through this again. Hopefully the anxiety will get better. I keep telling myself it will get better and I know it will. I'm still taking it minute by minute. Trying to browse this site as much as I can...it really helps. And I didn't sleep very much last night which doesn't help...especially having to work all day. But i'm still sober, although that little voice in my head keeps telling me that just take a drink and i'll feel better. I'm fighting it!! Thanks for your support...i'm going to keep busy this weekned. If I can get through that, it will be amazing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi, im going through a difficult (and impossible) time with my credit card companies as well. I have to remind myself that it is only money and a credit score, it doesnt affect my ability to live. Im hopeing to get lost in all the poor people and families that are going broke, maybe they wont notice me? Not likely.
There is more to life than money, it is all about how you live it. I lived in a tent in the forest for many months when i was younger, and i was fine with it. It is all about survival.
There is more to life than money, it is all about how you live it. I lived in a tent in the forest for many months when i was younger, and i was fine with it. It is all about survival.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
Blue
I am no expert on the subject but here is my contribution to this thread. One thing I know for sure is that excessive drinking causes anxiety, and relieves it temporarily. Once I stopped for a period of time the anxiety really subsided to a manageable level. No more spikes or attacks! A number of other health issues seems to magically get better as well. Chest pains, stomach issues, eyes, bowels, etc. etc.
Maybe you fall into this natural category and maybe you don't. I think there is self induced anxiety, nervousness, jitters, depression, etc. etc. And then there are natural chemical imbalances that will cause the above issues with or without drinking. For those there are meds to keep them in check.
Make this an exploration. Give up the drink for a couple of weeks (one day at a time of course) and see how you feel. If you are still very anxious go and see your DR and explain your situation and see if he can help you medically manage it from that point on.
Just a suggestion......
I am no expert on the subject but here is my contribution to this thread. One thing I know for sure is that excessive drinking causes anxiety, and relieves it temporarily. Once I stopped for a period of time the anxiety really subsided to a manageable level. No more spikes or attacks! A number of other health issues seems to magically get better as well. Chest pains, stomach issues, eyes, bowels, etc. etc.
Maybe you fall into this natural category and maybe you don't. I think there is self induced anxiety, nervousness, jitters, depression, etc. etc. And then there are natural chemical imbalances that will cause the above issues with or without drinking. For those there are meds to keep them in check.
Make this an exploration. Give up the drink for a couple of weeks (one day at a time of course) and see how you feel. If you are still very anxious go and see your DR and explain your situation and see if he can help you medically manage it from that point on.
Just a suggestion......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 49
Thanks for all the support. Still sboer, anxiety is still here. I went on a long walk today and it helped SO much. I'm keeping busy, doing things that needed to get done. Thank you Toomutch for checking on me. Felly77 you are right, it's only money and it doesn't affect my ability to live. I keep telling myself that, trying not to stress. Those are great words...thank you!! I'm still scared... :o) Thanks Fug, I was just sitting here realizing that what's causing my anxiety is the alcohol...nothing else. Yes, there are other stressers in my life but the drinking and now withdrawl is my biggest concern. Thanks for your response. You guys are awesome. This helps me SO much!!!!
live to ride ride to live
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
Google progressive relaxation it can help relieve anxiety if that doesn't work call your doc they can help with the anxiety till you've had some clean time and your body gets back on track. Also eat right and keep taking those walks.
one day at a time
one day at a time
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