To Believe, or not in God.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Diego, CA today, TX,KS,IL previously
Posts: 107
To Believe, or not in God.
First off,
Let me just say as a long time...... first time.... recoverer... the site looks great. I see alot of changes... It put a smile on my face in an otherwise irritable morning...
Ok, so now to my question... I'm totally at my wits end... again... I quit believing in God after a lot of questions 15 years ago... (nothing to do with drinking, didn't touch the stuff, till 8 years ago) Something happened in my life and I never forgave whatever if anything is out there controlling it..
I'm 34 now.
They say that you can never really recover until you give yourself over to god. I've always had a hard time with that, and I thought that I could find my "God" in a group of people helping each other.. And maybe that's totally possible for some people, and I truely believe it is.
just not me... You can hide from people.. you can skip meetings, you can ignore posting on these forums. I've done all of them. All in the name of falling back to your problems.
If there is a god... the one thing I know is you can't hide from it. So... can I after all my athiest, agnostic bable ... over the years.... really find and accept a god in my life... I don't even know where to begin, but I think it might be my only hope.
Long stupid rant I know...
Let me just say as a long time...... first time.... recoverer... the site looks great. I see alot of changes... It put a smile on my face in an otherwise irritable morning...
Ok, so now to my question... I'm totally at my wits end... again... I quit believing in God after a lot of questions 15 years ago... (nothing to do with drinking, didn't touch the stuff, till 8 years ago) Something happened in my life and I never forgave whatever if anything is out there controlling it..
I'm 34 now.
They say that you can never really recover until you give yourself over to god. I've always had a hard time with that, and I thought that I could find my "God" in a group of people helping each other.. And maybe that's totally possible for some people, and I truely believe it is.
just not me... You can hide from people.. you can skip meetings, you can ignore posting on these forums. I've done all of them. All in the name of falling back to your problems.
If there is a god... the one thing I know is you can't hide from it. So... can I after all my athiest, agnostic bable ... over the years.... really find and accept a god in my life... I don't even know where to begin, but I think it might be my only hope.
Long stupid rant I know...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 95
The concept of God means something different to everyone. After having been raised MS Lutheran I denounced the faith at age 19 and determined there is no controlling God a few years later. So much internal struggle, so much struggle with others who were sure they knew better than me.
The recognition and acceptance of what I believed offered me the peace to be able to recognize what the concept of God means to others, and what those concepts mean to me.
God is whatever you determine it to be. What YOU believe, not what others tell you you should believe. That is where you can find peace.
The recognition and acceptance of what I believed offered me the peace to be able to recognize what the concept of God means to others, and what those concepts mean to me.
God is whatever you determine it to be. What YOU believe, not what others tell you you should believe. That is where you can find peace.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Fall said it very well...The concept of God is different for everyone. I am a faithful, practicing Catholic, and I am sure my concept of God is different than my pastors, the person who sits next to me on Sunday, etc.
If you are interested in the Christian idea of God and finding a way to forgive God and understand something that happened in your life, I would recommend reading a book called "The Shack" by Wm. P. Young. It is about a man whose 6 year old daughter is kidnapped and murdered and how he learns to accept and forgive God for what he perceives as God's lack of care for him, his family and his daughter.
The book is not about "religion" but more about relationship with God. It is fiction, but it is very powerful.
Just a thought. We all have to find our own way.
Best wishes!
Something happened in my life and I never forgave whatever if anything is out there controlling it..
The book is not about "religion" but more about relationship with God. It is fiction, but it is very powerful.
Just a thought. We all have to find our own way.
Best wishes!
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Moving out of Limbo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
Justsomeguy, nice to meet you.
There is an interesting conversation and some great insights about what you are talking about in this thread "Higher Power..." in the Spirituality forum. Enjoy.
There is an interesting conversation and some great insights about what you are talking about in this thread "Higher Power..." in the Spirituality forum. Enjoy.
Silly Rabbit
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 956
it's not a long, stupid rant. it's awesome that you're seeking... whatever.
personal experience shows me that no matter what i do or where i go, the big guy's there. i call him a he, i don't know if it's a he/she/universe/etc. but i like rhyming, and thus i like big guy in the sky. with that said, i pray every morning and every night. i don't pray fearfully, like "god please keep me alive!" i pray as humbly as i can, and sometimes i kid, and i've cursed god and you know what? he's still around. so am i.
so i don't know, i think anything is possible. i think that open minds tend to fair better than closed. i think willingness is key. i think that sobriety and faith bring peace, and peace within yourself helps strengthen peace on earth, and that is nothing but good.
keep searchin, and have fun, and ENJOY not knowing... what a blessing, not to HAVE to know anything.
personal experience shows me that no matter what i do or where i go, the big guy's there. i call him a he, i don't know if it's a he/she/universe/etc. but i like rhyming, and thus i like big guy in the sky. with that said, i pray every morning and every night. i don't pray fearfully, like "god please keep me alive!" i pray as humbly as i can, and sometimes i kid, and i've cursed god and you know what? he's still around. so am i.
so i don't know, i think anything is possible. i think that open minds tend to fair better than closed. i think willingness is key. i think that sobriety and faith bring peace, and peace within yourself helps strengthen peace on earth, and that is nothing but good.
keep searchin, and have fun, and ENJOY not knowing... what a blessing, not to HAVE to know anything.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
One size dose not fit all.
Originally Posted by justsomeguy 
They say that you can never really recover until you give yourself over to god.
But if you believe having God as part or as your total recovery program, then I believe its important to integrate healthy personal beliefs into ones treatment. IMO, what ones believes can have an big impact on there recovery outcome.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Have you read the Big Book - the chapter on the agnostics ? (chapter 4)
Perhaps there may be something in that chapter that would help you in your quest to find your higher power and then sobriety. If you don't have a copy, there are at least two sites that have it online.
You can't hide from God... why would you want to? Sounds crazy or quaint, I know, but when I found my higher power, I was glad I couldn't hide. Despite all the sh*t that's happened to me, in my life, I believe He is all loving.
Good luck on your quest...
Mark
Perhaps there may be something in that chapter that would help you in your quest to find your higher power and then sobriety. If you don't have a copy, there are at least two sites that have it online.
You can't hide from God... why would you want to? Sounds crazy or quaint, I know, but when I found my higher power, I was glad I couldn't hide. Despite all the sh*t that's happened to me, in my life, I believe He is all loving.
Good luck on your quest...
Mark
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
I don't think there is anything new about someone coming in who is angry at "god" or has trouble believing in God...if it was that simple, there wouldn't be a problem.
There's a process which brings this about - I went in very apprehensive about the whole god thing..pretty much an attitude of "if this god doesn't work - I am toast". Then I was asked to "set aside" (not GET RID OF) any notion of god, higher power, creative intelligence etc etc..that I may have had, so that I could be open to experience this power.
It worked..and I have no working definition of "god", I can't tell you what he, she, it is or is not. But I can tell you that something did happen. I have been sober ever since and this guy (me) who absolutely could not stop drinking, no mattter how hard I tried - actually got more through giving up, than taking on any belief system.
I was looking at death, or the possibility that there is a power greater than me that could take away my alcoholism. My alcoholism was certainly a power greater than me, it was running the show...for years on end. I think at first I considered "If my alcoholism is a power greater than me, and I have no control over it - then the oppposite must exist, where alcoholism can cease to exist." I was meeting people that were walking demonstrations of this...
but it had to happen in it's unique way for me..if I was just willing to give up hope that I was someday gonna pull this off on my own.
Be angry at god - at least you believe there is something to be angry at, that's a good start.
There's a process which brings this about - I went in very apprehensive about the whole god thing..pretty much an attitude of "if this god doesn't work - I am toast". Then I was asked to "set aside" (not GET RID OF) any notion of god, higher power, creative intelligence etc etc..that I may have had, so that I could be open to experience this power.
It worked..and I have no working definition of "god", I can't tell you what he, she, it is or is not. But I can tell you that something did happen. I have been sober ever since and this guy (me) who absolutely could not stop drinking, no mattter how hard I tried - actually got more through giving up, than taking on any belief system.
I was looking at death, or the possibility that there is a power greater than me that could take away my alcoholism. My alcoholism was certainly a power greater than me, it was running the show...for years on end. I think at first I considered "If my alcoholism is a power greater than me, and I have no control over it - then the oppposite must exist, where alcoholism can cease to exist." I was meeting people that were walking demonstrations of this...
but it had to happen in it's unique way for me..if I was just willing to give up hope that I was someday gonna pull this off on my own.
Be angry at god - at least you believe there is something to be angry at, that's a good start.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
Sounds like you are on the right path, if you are going to use AA as your method of recovery I would suggest finding a recovered member to take you through the steps outlined in our basic text. A thorough step one may motivate you to continue seeking.
All you need to start with is a mustard seed of willingness and an openmind. Set aside prejudice and ask yourself, what do spiritual terms mean to you.
I found out the God of my understanding was inside me all along. AA is a spiritual program of action, don't let the God word throw you, so many hear the word and immediately shut down, blocking themselves completely from the totality and meaning behind the word. Honestly seek and you wil find your truth. It will set you free, but it will hurt and p#ss you off before you get there, (at least that was my experience)
All you need to start with is a mustard seed of willingness and an openmind. Set aside prejudice and ask yourself, what do spiritual terms mean to you.
I found out the God of my understanding was inside me all along. AA is a spiritual program of action, don't let the God word throw you, so many hear the word and immediately shut down, blocking themselves completely from the totality and meaning behind the word. Honestly seek and you wil find your truth. It will set you free, but it will hurt and p#ss you off before you get there, (at least that was my experience)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I do not believe in god...it isn't necessary in recovery.
i am an active member of AA and utilize it's suport and practice the 12 steps. I have a sprituality that is not god based that aids me in my recovery.
It is totally possible to recover without a belief in god.
These are statements based on my own personal expreince and you may not find that true for you..then again you may find it is true for you
So glad you are at SR, cause whatever the path you end up on, the people here will provide you with caring support along the way (hug)
i am an active member of AA and utilize it's suport and practice the 12 steps. I have a sprituality that is not god based that aids me in my recovery.
It is totally possible to recover without a belief in god.
These are statements based on my own personal expreince and you may not find that true for you..then again you may find it is true for you
So glad you are at SR, cause whatever the path you end up on, the people here will provide you with caring support along the way (hug)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
*and I thought that I could find my "God" in a group of people helping each other*
Isn't that your answer? 'God' doesn't have to be "out there" maybe he/she/it is with those people helping each other. I'm not one for miracles, but AA sounds damned close. A bunch of drunks who found it in their heart to help other drunks after everyone gave up on them. Started with one person and now it's around 10 million people. Maybe that is what you can have faith in.
Isn't that your answer? 'God' doesn't have to be "out there" maybe he/she/it is with those people helping each other. I'm not one for miracles, but AA sounds damned close. A bunch of drunks who found it in their heart to help other drunks after everyone gave up on them. Started with one person and now it's around 10 million people. Maybe that is what you can have faith in.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
God the way i understand him is in my life......i believe with all my heart that he plucked me from certain destruction..and kept me safe till i could stand again..
Some of my story which i havent shared yet gave me the "Belief"...i will when i get a moment.......it was hard to believe it couldnt be much else.
I couldnt manage without the "Faith and belief" that he is with me everyday.
Do i believe others can stay sober without him.........Im not arrogant enough to make that judgement..
I do believe there are other ways to stay sober..........its just this way works for me.........and i have a strong compelled feeling to continue this way..
BUT i dont like to see others preaching their way is the only way and your gonna fail if you dont do it.
I have a friend......heroin addict and a history of complete mayhem 20 years of class A addiction..
He dont do meeting......he has no need for god( his words)
He is 7 years clean......always puting up homeless addicts and is one of the happiest people i know and a very good friend.
He says "being clean completed my life"
I think we all take a different bus but hopefully the destination is the same and that is "contentment" without the need for chemicals.........trucker
Some of my story which i havent shared yet gave me the "Belief"...i will when i get a moment.......it was hard to believe it couldnt be much else.
I couldnt manage without the "Faith and belief" that he is with me everyday.
Do i believe others can stay sober without him.........Im not arrogant enough to make that judgement..
I do believe there are other ways to stay sober..........its just this way works for me.........and i have a strong compelled feeling to continue this way..
BUT i dont like to see others preaching their way is the only way and your gonna fail if you dont do it.
I have a friend......heroin addict and a history of complete mayhem 20 years of class A addiction..
He dont do meeting......he has no need for god( his words)
He is 7 years clean......always puting up homeless addicts and is one of the happiest people i know and a very good friend.
He says "being clean completed my life"
I think we all take a different bus but hopefully the destination is the same and that is "contentment" without the need for chemicals.........trucker
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
What worked for me in early recovery and to this moment
I returned to the God of my childhood...the Sunday School
God of love and forgiveness.
Hope you can find the joy and peace I have in my life.
I returned to the God of my childhood...the Sunday School
God of love and forgiveness.
Hope you can find the joy and peace I have in my life.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by trucker
I think we all take a different bus but hopefully the destination is the same and that is "contentment" without the need for chemicals.........trucker
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