heidicldwll

Hey Guys, Well I finally accomplished the unthinkable. I made it through my step 4 without having a nervous breakdown. I think this was the hardest thing i have ever done besides getting clean and sober. I finished this step last night with the help of my Higher Power. I just had a very hard time reliving the past that i had buried so long ago. I now feel like a burden has been lifted off of me and i am ready to face the world. All I have to do now is go over it with my sponsor which is step 5. It has taken me months to get through this step and i can say now that it is such a relief. I now understand what led me to do the things that i did and what led me to the way of life that i was leading. Don't get me wrong i am not blaming my behavior on anyone but myself. I can just see the bigger picture now. I now believe that i can be totally honest with myself and with others and that is something that just didn't happen in the past. I was a major manipulator and dishonest person and can't believe the things i did to get what i wanted. I can honestly say that i am not that person anymore and it is because of this certain step that has allowed me to live again. So, if anyone is having a problem with this step as much as i was just remember that all things are possible and with the help of your Higher Power and a good Sponsor you can and will get through it. Just be patient and work on it a little everyday because it doesn't have to be done in one day. Write a little something everyday and then attend a meeting, that is what worked for me. I am so grateful for this step and for all of you. I know that i am not alone and if I can help anyone i would be glad to. Thanks everyone for letting me share my experience.

Heidi

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Thanks for sharing this. I felt exactly the same way, and after the 5th I felt EVEN BETTER.

Good for you..

Karen

Tazman53

Awesome..... totally fantastic, as Karen said if you think finishing 4 is freeing wait until you have done 5!!!!!! I felt like the weight of the entire world was lifted off of my shoulders. One very important thing, do not burn your 4th, it will aide you a great deal in step 8 which lead to even more freedom as you do step 9.

heidicldwll

Thanks you guys for responding and giving me such great feedback. It means alot and I hope you all are doing well with your recovery.

StrongBird

Congrats. I'm excited to do mine, I think it's going to be pretty powerful.

tommyk

Congrats.

I am certain you make your sponsor proud.

NewDayNow

You just did

thank You

Ed

CarolD

Good for you....

I consider my recovery became solid with the Steps.

espresso

Well Done!

Charmie

hello heidi.nice to meet you.im just on day 14 2day of laying down the demon drink! it feels good! i am also attending aa meetings,i tried about 3 yrs ago and went back out and tried it again! it dosnt get any better,,,,, i have been going to lots and lots of meetings as i feel this is where i need to be.maybe it just wasnt my time 3 yrs ago.well done for getting to step 4!!! this is a great achievment.i thought i would shate with you my experience of the fabulous meeting i went to last niight,,its my favorite one out of all the ones i have been attending.there are lots of very wise old timers at this meeting! i decided yesterday afternoon that i was going to bake some cakes for this meeting.i dont know what prompted me to but just thought it would fill in some of my time and keep me busy.and of course everybody at the meetings appreciates some nice snacks!! when i got to the meeting i discovered that it was the 80th birthday of the old timer chairing!!!! hes sober 39 yrs!! so we had a little celebration and cakes! it was a fun meeting.the fun ones are just as important as the sad ones that happen to remind us! well done again! charmian.

heidicldwll

Hey guys, I am so glad to hear back from you all and that is so neat about the cakes you made. Something must have been telling you to do that. I hope everyone is doing great in recovery and will talk to you all soon.

Heidi