Making the naughty voice be quiet!!
mergirl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Making the naughty voice be quiet!!
So its been a little over 2 weeks since I quit drinking. I believe in my heart its forever because of the horrid thing I did while drunk. I am stubborn enough to just figure I WILL do this on my own, although I did contact my insurance to see if I qualify for counseling (more for the incident and dealing with it than for staying sober).After the first few days, I would catch myself thinking things like "if I drink ONLY when I'm by myself, I cant hurt anyone" or "Brian is a good friend, he would babysit me once every few months while I drank to make sure I behaved" or my favorite "there must be SOMETHING I can drink, smoke, snort or pop to take this edge off that wont show up on a drug screen". For the first week or so of this voice, I was amused. I would laugh at my little shoulder devil, and tell her no way, not going to happen. Now I'm pretty sick of it. I'm sick of wondering what I will do for fun now that Ive given up all of my friends, including booze.
When does the enjoyable part of being sober come?
When does the enjoyable part of being sober come?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,381
The good news is life is what you make it UE...the bad news is life is what you make it LOL
My life's not any better materially, I still have bad days, I'm still struggling financially, I still get sick, people still suck far more often than they should, I still suck far more often than I should too....
Sobriety's not a magic wand. But I'm the closest I've ever been to being the man I want to be, and that makes everything else worthwhile for me.
Funs where I make it - and I know it doesn't come from a bottle these days
D
My life's not any better materially, I still have bad days, I'm still struggling financially, I still get sick, people still suck far more often than they should, I still suck far more often than I should too....
Sobriety's not a magic wand. But I'm the closest I've ever been to being the man I want to be, and that makes everything else worthwhile for me.
Funs where I make it - and I know it doesn't come from a bottle these days
D
Cause no harm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
I'm sure many of us have had the same thoughts. I know I have. After drinking for 40 years, all my friends drink, the parties I go to, everyone drinks. My activities like playing music, camping, and visiting friends involve alcohol. So the whole social structure of my life changes when I give up alcohol. So for awhile, I stay away from those elements until I think its fine and I can handle it. Shortly after that decision, I usually went back to drinking. I can't play that game anymore. It's a hard decision but I have to let go of the past and look to the present...clean and sober. The ability to breathe and feel this marvelous thing called life will lead me to where I should be. Eventually new and sober friends will emerge. Old, true friends will realize that I can't drink and will nurture that fact, even at the cost of them not drinking around me (that is called love.) As surely as we found the path of escape by alcohol, the path now tread with sober steps will reveal its own satisfaction. It is not the extreme highs and lows that make us alive, it is the constant. Think of it as people...whom do you prefer? The individuals that one day are exuberant and loving, and the next day reclusive and depressed? Or the person that no matter what time it is, what event is occurring, or who is present, remains the same...always listening to you, speaking softly, and is there whenever you need? That is level and constant. This is what we should strive to attain. And on those occasions when one of those high points come to you, enjoy it and let it go. Don't expect it to last forever, for it would then become ordinary and uneventful. And if a low slips in, remember it too will pass and, if it were not for that low, you wouldn't recognize the highs that come to you. Allow your sobriety to be the gauge of your life and revel in its simplicity and beauty.
Peace—
Padraic
Peace—
Padraic
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 113
i'm aiming for smooth water with my sobriety. I'd love to have that somehow.
no drama, no ridiculous highs and lows that just trash my life. But to other people i've realized, that is what they call life.
hope you make your sobriety just how you want it. No lack of ways out there to make it just how you want it.
no drama, no ridiculous highs and lows that just trash my life. But to other people i've realized, that is what they call life.
hope you make your sobriety just how you want it. No lack of ways out there to make it just how you want it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
My drinking was always done alone in my room so I've lost nothing 'social'. As to the fun part of living, I'm just glad I'm not waking up feeling like sh!t and feeling guilty and ashamed. The good part will come, you just have to recognize it for what it is: living sober without regrets and pain and misery. Don't give up, even if you can't see the rewards yet - they are there and they are worth staying sober for. I promise.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Hey uglyeyes,
My "naughty voice' is a big nasty dragon. Sometimes he is sleeping in his cave and sometimes he likes to come out and terrorize me. I close my eyes and picture myself with a big shiny sword fighting him off and forcing him back into his cave to go back to sleep. I don't think I will ever kill him but I do hope I can keep him sleeping forever. This sounds like a video game but it really has helped me on many occasions. Visualization has been a great tool. I have been sober for a few months and I feel fabulous. I keep coming back to this board for a reminder of what I need to do and helping others seems to give me the courage to keep my dragon in his G^&% D D*&^m cave. Good luck.
My "naughty voice' is a big nasty dragon. Sometimes he is sleeping in his cave and sometimes he likes to come out and terrorize me. I close my eyes and picture myself with a big shiny sword fighting him off and forcing him back into his cave to go back to sleep. I don't think I will ever kill him but I do hope I can keep him sleeping forever. This sounds like a video game but it really has helped me on many occasions. Visualization has been a great tool. I have been sober for a few months and I feel fabulous. I keep coming back to this board for a reminder of what I need to do and helping others seems to give me the courage to keep my dragon in his G^&% D D*&^m cave. Good luck.
Moving out of Limbo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
I am really happy for you, uglyeyes. 2 weeks is already a great achievement. But remember, it's only been two weeks! Be patient with yourself, because you deserve it.
Being sober for two weeks hasn't really given you a chance yet to unlearn unsober thinking patterns. Us addicts want to see results to everything right way.
And like you, a traumatic event happened which prompted me to get sober. That's alot to deal with right away- the traumatic event, while SOBER. Not only is it not just an everyday stress or worry, but no chemicals to "take the edge off".
And like you, this traumatic event happened because of my using! So it kind of disgusts me to think of using alot of the time. Thinking about how I was.
Being sober, we can now embark on a journey of finding ourselves. We can't find ourselves when using, we actually hide ourselves, our emotions, our minds. We don't have to jump to a "better place" now- we can enjoy the ride.
Much love
Being sober for two weeks hasn't really given you a chance yet to unlearn unsober thinking patterns. Us addicts want to see results to everything right way.
And like you, a traumatic event happened which prompted me to get sober. That's alot to deal with right away- the traumatic event, while SOBER. Not only is it not just an everyday stress or worry, but no chemicals to "take the edge off".
And like you, this traumatic event happened because of my using! So it kind of disgusts me to think of using alot of the time. Thinking about how I was.
Being sober, we can now embark on a journey of finding ourselves. We can't find ourselves when using, we actually hide ourselves, our emotions, our minds. We don't have to jump to a "better place" now- we can enjoy the ride.
Much love
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Making the naughty voice be quiet!!
When you become aware that the naughty voice is talking, break the thought pattern.
Recite the 12 steps, listen intently to the words of a song, sing, concentrate on something.
Believe it or not, your mind can only handle one thought at a time.
Assign your mind a thought rather than letting it go where it wants to go.
Good luck, it isn't easy, but it can work!
When you become aware that the naughty voice is talking, break the thought pattern.
Recite the 12 steps, listen intently to the words of a song, sing, concentrate on something.
Believe it or not, your mind can only handle one thought at a time.
Assign your mind a thought rather than letting it go where it wants to go.
Good luck, it isn't easy, but it can work!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Ah..... the whispering voices again..........that extra head that talks fantasy and complete rubbish.
Its taken many a newcomer round the block again.....believe me ive seen it and some didnt get back....sadly some die..
In recovery for me there are two important elements.......what my head says and what my heart says..
The head is unpredictable has high and lows and sometimes has mad insane ideas.
The heart is different.....i know in my heart if it is wrong.....it "feels" wrong.
Its much more reliable and doesnt lie..
Heres an example of what im trying to say......a few times in early recovery my head has said......."ok youve been sober for a while now so lets just try beer and only beer...and just to be on the safe side just drink weekends"
I mull this over for a while......my head says "dont tell anyone that will make them worry".
Before i know it im off to the bar.........i get half way there and my heart starts to boot up.
I start to feel..."this is wrong".....it feels wrong..i feel vunerable and start to remember my last drink.......i get scared and turn back..
Around everything else i can make a perfectly sane decisions but not where alcohol is concerned.........my head chats b.s..
Over the years it has tried to convince me to drink...
Here are some of the things it trys to convince me is a good idea.
"Try weekend drinking....try beer only.....your not a man if you dont drink.....your boring if you dont drink......go to the bar and drink pepsi...
your not an alkie just had a few problems.....only drink at home..make your own beer..you wont drink it..lol....prove to everyone you can drink in moderation.........the list of fantasy nonsense is endless..
I can hear your heart talking in your share....you know your drinking is finished....you feel it......but the head.....man!!!!........
Id like to say its gone and now i dont get it............but it wouldnt be true.
Its very faint but still there......but very rare.
BUT...its how i manage it thats different..........its no big deal...its only my head....and its not true.......like you i laugh it off........a thought wont get me drunk.
As long as you know in your heart its wrong......
In the early days the more i got frustrated with it the bigger the THOUGHT got..
Its ok to have thoughts as long as you know that its complete nonsense.
I would say this to myself...........i dont drink like normal people...one drink and im on that bus to hell again...and i will drag my loved ones along with me..just for the ride and not give a dam...
Stick with it my friend.....carrying on laughing it off..in fact tell it to fk off!
Over time it will get weaker cos your not giving what it wants.....your life again.
Hope this makes sense to you..i have tried to put into words how i see it and manage it..........
..........your doing great.....you got what you wanted....your life back and it WILL get better............trucker
Its taken many a newcomer round the block again.....believe me ive seen it and some didnt get back....sadly some die..
In recovery for me there are two important elements.......what my head says and what my heart says..
The head is unpredictable has high and lows and sometimes has mad insane ideas.
The heart is different.....i know in my heart if it is wrong.....it "feels" wrong.
Its much more reliable and doesnt lie..
Heres an example of what im trying to say......a few times in early recovery my head has said......."ok youve been sober for a while now so lets just try beer and only beer...and just to be on the safe side just drink weekends"
I mull this over for a while......my head says "dont tell anyone that will make them worry".
Before i know it im off to the bar.........i get half way there and my heart starts to boot up.
I start to feel..."this is wrong".....it feels wrong..i feel vunerable and start to remember my last drink.......i get scared and turn back..
Around everything else i can make a perfectly sane decisions but not where alcohol is concerned.........my head chats b.s..
Over the years it has tried to convince me to drink...
Here are some of the things it trys to convince me is a good idea.
"Try weekend drinking....try beer only.....your not a man if you dont drink.....your boring if you dont drink......go to the bar and drink pepsi...
your not an alkie just had a few problems.....only drink at home..make your own beer..you wont drink it..lol....prove to everyone you can drink in moderation.........the list of fantasy nonsense is endless..
I can hear your heart talking in your share....you know your drinking is finished....you feel it......but the head.....man!!!!........
Id like to say its gone and now i dont get it............but it wouldnt be true.
Its very faint but still there......but very rare.
BUT...its how i manage it thats different..........its no big deal...its only my head....and its not true.......like you i laugh it off........a thought wont get me drunk.
As long as you know in your heart its wrong......
In the early days the more i got frustrated with it the bigger the THOUGHT got..
Its ok to have thoughts as long as you know that its complete nonsense.
I would say this to myself...........i dont drink like normal people...one drink and im on that bus to hell again...and i will drag my loved ones along with me..just for the ride and not give a dam...
Stick with it my friend.....carrying on laughing it off..in fact tell it to fk off!
Over time it will get weaker cos your not giving what it wants.....your life again.
Hope this makes sense to you..i have tried to put into words how i see it and manage it..........
..........your doing great.....you got what you wanted....your life back and it WILL get better............trucker
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 83
3 weeks sober
Congrats on 2 weeks UE!
I have only one more week of sobriety than you and I can relate to your wanting to see the payoff of not drinking right now... For me, its coming in bits and pieces. I'm glad to not be feeling fatigued 24/7, I'm glad to be able to remember daily nightly conversations. I haven't ventured out to places where people are drinking and I've laid low but I'm ok with that for now. I have to remind myself to be patient as the things I don't like in my life right now didn't happen overnight.
We're both taking baby steps toward a healthy, full, sober life. Friendships don't happen overnight. Allow yourself some time.
Your post and all of those who responded to your post are helping me. Keep reaching out and take it one step at a time.
To all and particularly Creekryder---awesome thoughts/words. thank you.
I have only one more week of sobriety than you and I can relate to your wanting to see the payoff of not drinking right now... For me, its coming in bits and pieces. I'm glad to not be feeling fatigued 24/7, I'm glad to be able to remember daily nightly conversations. I haven't ventured out to places where people are drinking and I've laid low but I'm ok with that for now. I have to remind myself to be patient as the things I don't like in my life right now didn't happen overnight.
We're both taking baby steps toward a healthy, full, sober life. Friendships don't happen overnight. Allow yourself some time.
Your post and all of those who responded to your post are helping me. Keep reaching out and take it one step at a time.
To all and particularly Creekryder---awesome thoughts/words. thank you.
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