Help Me Breath
I'm growing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
Help Me Breath
I applied for an apartment last week and I just got a call back tonight from the land lady saying the apartment is mine if I want it.
I know I want the seperation...but I feel like I can't breath. It is sooo real now! I will move in in a few days!
The land lady called my personal references. One of which was my mom. My mom called me to tell me that the land lady was debating who to give the apartment to. It was between me and another lady (in a similar situation). When my mom called I almost felt relief. I thought well if some else really needs it then they can have it. Something else will work out for me.
But the land lady picked me and the codee in me feels guilty (that I don't deserve it) and nervous to be apart.
OKay I think I'm going to puke now
I know I want the seperation...but I feel like I can't breath. It is sooo real now! I will move in in a few days!
The land lady called my personal references. One of which was my mom. My mom called me to tell me that the land lady was debating who to give the apartment to. It was between me and another lady (in a similar situation). When my mom called I almost felt relief. I thought well if some else really needs it then they can have it. Something else will work out for me.
But the land lady picked me and the codee in me feels guilty (that I don't deserve it) and nervous to be apart.
OKay I think I'm going to puke now
Last edited by Daisy30; 01-12-2009 at 07:04 PM.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Daisy,
Puke if you need to. Take ten deep breaths then: A count of four going in, hold it for two, release it in seven. Breathe, and know that this is not in any way a bad thing that has happened.
For one thing: HP has a funny way of taking care of us, and this is very likely what he has in mind for you. Don't argue LOL.
For another: So you will be living in your own place. It's in the same city, not on Pluto. If you want to see him you can. If you want to stay married you can. If you want to wait-and-see what happens with his recovery, you can. Or if you don't, don't. ALL THIS GIVES YOU IS MORE CHOICES.
What is it you are most afraid of? Talk it out with us.
And breeeeeeeeeeathe. Everything's going to be fine.
Puke if you need to. Take ten deep breaths then: A count of four going in, hold it for two, release it in seven. Breathe, and know that this is not in any way a bad thing that has happened.
For one thing: HP has a funny way of taking care of us, and this is very likely what he has in mind for you. Don't argue LOL.
For another: So you will be living in your own place. It's in the same city, not on Pluto. If you want to see him you can. If you want to stay married you can. If you want to wait-and-see what happens with his recovery, you can. Or if you don't, don't. ALL THIS GIVES YOU IS MORE CHOICES.
What is it you are most afraid of? Talk it out with us.
And breeeeeeeeeeathe. Everything's going to be fine.
I'm growing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
What is it you are most afraid of? Talk it out with us.
ALL THIS GIVES YOU IS MORE CHOICES
I'm growing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
Originally Posted by GiveLove 
So, Daisy, on the good side of reality:
What's the first thing you are going to buy for yourself to make your apartment feel like home?
What's the first thing you are going to buy for yourself to make your apartment feel like home?
How about toilet paper......LMAO
Freed from the anguish
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 124
(((daisy)))
I TOTALLY understand and relate to your fear. I just moved into my own apartment a month and a half ago. Just keep taking deep breaths. I know the scariest part for me wasn't so much what I'd do when I got there, it was what he'd do (how he'd react, etc). The beauty of it all is, YOU will finally get the space YOU NEED. You will be able to breathe again, THINK FOR YOURSELF again, enjoy quiet again. It is scary because you've been without your own breathing and thinking and enjoying for a long time. For once this is ABOUT YOU!!! And that's a GOOD THING
Keep posting here. Keep asking questions. Don't be afraid to say when you're afraid. I know I did. The morning after I moved into my apartment with my few things, I was scared to death. I couldn't stop crying. And I posted how I was feeling here. And you know what? Everyone here (as always) was encouraging and loving and supportive. We're all here for you too as you take this next, new step. It's just one step. And you'll find out after you take it, it really was a great step to take.
(((((daisy))))) Love you!!!
I TOTALLY understand and relate to your fear. I just moved into my own apartment a month and a half ago. Just keep taking deep breaths. I know the scariest part for me wasn't so much what I'd do when I got there, it was what he'd do (how he'd react, etc). The beauty of it all is, YOU will finally get the space YOU NEED. You will be able to breathe again, THINK FOR YOURSELF again, enjoy quiet again. It is scary because you've been without your own breathing and thinking and enjoying for a long time. For once this is ABOUT YOU!!! And that's a GOOD THING
Keep posting here. Keep asking questions. Don't be afraid to say when you're afraid. I know I did. The morning after I moved into my apartment with my few things, I was scared to death. I couldn't stop crying. And I posted how I was feeling here. And you know what? Everyone here (as always) was encouraging and loving and supportive. We're all here for you too as you take this next, new step. It's just one step. And you'll find out after you take it, it really was a great step to take.
(((((daisy))))) Love you!!!
I'm growing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
:ghug2 I am so thankful for the support and encouragement I get here
I will check into that!
GL ~You made me think of all the stuff I will need....that I didn't think of: a trash can, silverware, plates, cups.... I suppose Ah and I can just split up most of the stuff we have
We are moving Thursday and I have yet to tell the kids and pack anything..... ummm can you say denial;~)
Originally Posted by GiveLove
Make it the cushiest, high-dollar toilet paper you can afford. Does Tiffany make toilet paper??? 
I will check into that!GL ~You made me think of all the stuff I will need....that I didn't think of: a trash can, silverware, plates, cups.... I suppose Ah and I can just split up most of the stuff we have
We are moving Thursday and I have yet to tell the kids and pack anything..... ummm can you say denial;~)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 303
Daisy Honey,
Take those long, deep breaths...release the negative energy as you breathe out. This will leave you open to take in the good when you breathe in.
Now do this until you feel dizzy with joy!!!
Shivaya
Take those long, deep breaths...release the negative energy as you breathe out. This will leave you open to take in the good when you breathe in.
Now do this until you feel dizzy with joy!!!
Shivaya
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 167
daisy30, how exciting and scary. I made the same move almost 9 months ago. Can hardly believe how far i've come since then. Not so scary after you arrive. You'll see. One bit of advice I can give is, less is more. Honest to god, i didn't take ALL of my stuff. I left most of it at the house and when it sells, I will decide what I want but for now, what I took is all I need. I bought a few window treatments and some rugs and a beautiful new shower curtin and new towels. I've been back a few times for my christmas stuff but really, the only thing I really want to get now are my hope chests filled with photos. I guess I'm saying don't go spend beyond your means...unless your means are way bigger than mine lol. You'll see that your peace of mind goes a long way!
God speed!!!!!!!!!
God speed!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
now you can create your own safe sanctuary. it will feel so wonderful, even if you have to put towels up to the windows for curtains.
your own safe place. quiet, solitude, filled with peace and love.
no more chaos, yelling, screaming.
enjoy, darlin, enjoy!!!!!!!
your own safe place. quiet, solitude, filled with peace and love.
no more chaos, yelling, screaming.
enjoy, darlin, enjoy!!!!!!!
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