scaredykat

I'm not sure how I want to write this. Just don't feel right in the head today. I feel depressed, lonely especially. Wondering if i really belong on this forum anymore. I haven't been on too much lately. I feel like nobody misses me anyway.

Don't get me wrong; I love being sober and work a good program to the best of my ability with my f2f friends in AA. I don't feel like this with them. On here anymore, I feel like why bother. Maybe i should take a break from here. I don't know. I haven't even felt like welcoming the newcomers.

So, i don't know. Maybe it's just my head again. I've had a lot of stress since New Years with no hot water and heat for 6 days. Then my Dad getting on my nerves for not being able to E-Mail him anymore. Still trying to figure that one out. I've had to E-Mail him a different way. At least now he's happy.

My Anniversary is in a week; maybe it's just the weird feeling people get when it's almost their Anniversary. I don't know. Well, i guess that's all. Just wanted to write this down I guess.

parentrecovers

:ghug3

grateful2b

Scardykat...I don't know you..
and I'm sorry you're feeling blue..
but I thought I'd come by with a hug
especially for you....
:ghug3

gypsytears

Scaredy. I do think people sometimes feel differently around their anniversaries. I haven't been on as much as usual but I do miss you posting in Bottoms. If you need a break, take one... but I hope you know you are cared for here and try not to stay away too long .

Rowan

Hey Barb - sorry you're feeling this way. I always look forward to you popping by, and wish you were here more often. You've come a long way, and I'm awful proud of you.
Plus, you helped me upload my YouTube vid - so I'll always be grateful to you for that.

You've got a big anniversary coming up - 1 whole year! That can mess with your head - I know it did with mine.

No need to take a break from here IMO - maybe just sit and try to figure out why you are feeling this way?

Hugs going out to you.

Horselover

I'm sorry you have felt that way Scaredy, but I can relate with everything you've said. I have been feeling the same way lately. I have been spending less and less time around here myself. At first it was because I wasn't feeling well and then I came back and it just didn't feel right. I wasn't in sync with it anymore. I know you have a lot of support with the people around here and I bet they didn't even know you felt this way.

Hoping your feelings change and you get the support you seek. Hugs to you!

gravity

I've been like this since Monday except my problem is anxiety. This stuff always passes. Always.

It's all in my head...really, everything is good. One of my current favorite sayings: "If that's the biggest thing I have to worry about today, I got it really good."

We started our sobriety, AA about the same time (quite the little journey, eh?) ...I like having you here on SR.

Almost a year sober, working a strong program...you will get through this.

ReedyJ77

Feeling lonely is a natural way your brain is telling you to be with someone. Take a moment to share your feelings with someone, and maybe that will help get it off you shoulders, "so to speak." You have lots of friends here I'm sure. Everyone has been quite receptive of me joining. It's a good group, you are on the right track!

Dee74

I always look for your posts and wonder where you are when your not here Barb. You're part of the place.

it's natural to get depressed around a year for some reason. Maybe it's PAWS. or maybe it's just this time of year and winter and post Xmas stuff?

It's ok to take an SR break once in a while and focus on yourself for a bit too.



D

Anna

No hot water or heat in upstate NY for six days!!

Omigosh!!

Scaredykat, I am glad that you checked in. It's normal to have ups and downs. Try to believe that it will pass.

Aysha

I too always like to see your posts.
I think alot of us get like that sometimes.
I know I do. I dont feel like posting..reading..Nothing. i dont know why either.
If you feel like you need a break. Then do it. But I wish you wouldnt.
Alot has been going on it seems. Could be stress?
Well either way. I hope you stay..But if you dont..Dont be gone too long.
Take care of yourself and take it easy.

BKP

I'm from upstate myself, i miss the mountain peaks and skiing, hiking. Get outside, it is flat in Syracuse and this is a hardcore drinking city i changed my ways going skating tonight usually at this time i am 3 beers into my 12 pack i get on Fridays. I am staying productive with my decision. ONE LOVE~

least

You most certainly ARE an important part of this place! If you need a little break, take one, but don't stay away too long - I'd miss you, as would many others. Your 'not feeling right in the head' could be a lot of things: midwinter blues, coming up on one year, the problems you've had at home - could be those or other things. I just want to give you this:ghug3and tell you that I'm glad you're here and I'm glad I know you.

You are needed here, so don't stay away too long!

Here's another one for later:ghug3

Lenina

What least said! You'd be missed!

Love,

Lenina

Hevyn

Scaredy, Horselover - I feel alot like that myself the past few days. I'm attributing it (as Dee said) to post-holiday letdown - anti-climax - whatever! I built myself up for the big test over Christmas, came here and received fantastic support & couldn't have asked for a better outcome! So, what's my problem? Recently, I've been thinking ok, now what? That strange, empty, is-that-all-there-is feeling? I have it too. I'm waiting patiently for it to pass.

coffeenut

You have a year coming up! How awesome is that!

I think it's okay to feel what you are feeling about the forum. It's here when you need it....doesn't judge, and doesn't go away. It's whatever you need it to be.

I'm glad you're here.

tanyapmc

I think you belong here Barb. You thread was one of the first I read here. And I remember reading the WHOLE thing.

I get squirly around my anniversary too. So let's just be weird together!

Phoof418

:praying. I'm old to the program and new at it again
frustrating.

scaredykat

Thank you everyone for caring. I think I do need some time to do other things on the computer. I have some other AA sites I want to read. I love reading about AA's history.

Anna- Here's what happened on New Years. I wrote on the other forum about it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nk-god-aa.html

IO Storm

Barb...

I came back to your post..I don't know what is like to suffer in my body when it's cold.

And to live in the cold. And to have the power go out, or have a furnace blow.

But I have a brother with Agent Orange poisoning..cancer..his skin is tender. He is suffering

in Mo., and coming back to see us here in the desert next month.

He can't stand the cold..and is very depressed.

I know this has nothing to do with you...but it helps me understand.

Do what you must, Barb...I wish you wouldn't leave, but do what you feel is right!

All my love, blessings

Sher