jsteven1

I've been at this since 1984, and continuously sober for over 19 years, before I went back out in 2003. Back almost 5 years, and lost it around Halloween.
Former GSR, Intergroup Chair and Secretary, I'm lost!
Need to hear back from a male over 50. PLEASE!

ADayAtATime

Welcome to the board....I don't have much advice to offer, I'm still in the early stages of soberiety...only 8 days. It's just after reading your post I felt my heart go heavy...I really hope that you find what you came in here for. The people are awesome.
I'll pray for you.
XOXO

jsteven1

There are issues that sobriety alone cannot fix. To those new to the program, I can only assure that it does work, and as well as you're willing to work it. However, "there are those who suffer from grave mental and emotional" problems. "Many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest".
Mental illness can deprive us of that capacity. Do not mistake this for weakness. I did, and the result was a return to active drinking.

Hevyn

jsteven - I'm not male, but can so relate to what you're going through. I drank all my life, was sober for 3 yrs. in the late 90's & then picked up again, drinking until last year. I almost destroyed myself this last time, felt I would die if I didn't stop. I dragged myself up out of hell, and I can't go back again - I'll never survive another dance with the devil. I know you'll find what you need here, please keep posting and reaching out - there are some wonderful people here who know exactly what you're going through.

jsteven1

Thank you, Hevyn. (Love the screen name!). Life is a mysterious thing. Once you think you've mastered it, it'll bite you on the ass every time.
I SO need to talk anonymously to others with this disease. Too many people in the "Program" have known me as a sober "rock". I'm just another Bozo on the bus, and I hurt like hell!

jsteven1

Today's my 59th birthday. I'd always expected to be approaching retirement in a state of solid sobriety and comfortable middle-age. Instead, I'm sitting here posting on an AA Chat-Room with a can of beer in my hand.
At the rate I'm going, I won't see 60!

jsteven1

I find I have to post 5 messages before I can reply. Here's another one.

flutter

Well, I'm not male, I'm not 50, and I don't know you.. but I do know I'd prefer for you to make it to 60

Do you want to quit?

Semantics shmemantics, but this is in no way affiliated w/ AA, there's all kinds of us here, participating in all different ways of finding sobriety and recovery!

Welcome

jsteven1

If I didn't WANT to quit, why in the world would I be posting HERE?

jsteven1

Drinking is a coping skill, and I'm an expert at it. It has stolen much of my life, and nearly all of my dignity. Sadly, it's symptomatic of an incurable sickness that is threatening to take all I have left.
If AA is offensive to you, don't read my posts. I am an alcoholic - Powerless over alcohol. It isn't semantics - it's fact!

snowdog

Jsteven- I hope you find the connection you are looking for here! My heart goes out to you- not a great way to spend your birthday, huh?! My wish for you is to put down the beer can and go do something for yourself that would mark you birthday in a positive way. Maybe take-out from a restaurant you have been wanting to try and a movie?

Of course you already know the best b-day gift you can give yourself is to take back your sobriety. 6

Good luck to you.

shaun00

hi and welcome.............id like to here the story of why you feel you returned to drinking...
What was in place for you or what wasnt.......or did you forget YOU?
What whittled away at your desire to remain sober?
If you dont mind sharing that of course....id really like to hear it.
In terms of one alcoholic to another of course im here to offer support...if i can.
Im 42...8 years sober and a member of AA in the uk...
My prayers go out to you my friend.............and feel free to pm me if you wish.........god be with you...............trucker.

jsteven1

Trucker,
Sadly,I must fold my tent and get some sleep, for tomorrow's a work day. I'll be happy to share. To you, and to all that have replied: Thank you. I am not alone.
john

jsteven1

Good night to all of you. I'll be back tomorrow night.

I can't.

He can.

Sugah

jsteven, I do agree that there are some things that are outside the scope of AA, though for an alcoholic like me, anything that I need in order to live a Purposeful existence is a complement to my AA life. In recovery, I've seen a therapist for assertiveness training and help with anxiety issues that the steps alone wouldn't solve.... although I believe that the god of my understanding put that help in my path.

I do hope you find the help you need. Since it's all about sharing experience, I'm going to share a little of mine.

I made a good friend in recovery, Paul B. He was twelve years sober when I met him, and he called me when I had my first anniversary to ask me to do a lead. The man chairing the meeting that night was Jeff B. He also had over a decade sober. Within a year, both of these men were drunk again, and I couldn't tell you why.

I will tell you this. Jeff had a grave mental disorder. Paul made no bones about the one resentment he still hung onto. Jeff did manage to put his ego aside and walk back into the rooms. Paul died with a shotgun in his mouth.

If you were around for 19 years, jsteven, you know what I'm going to tell you I think. I'd never say for certain because I don't have to walk in your moccasins. To be afraid to walk back into the rooms now because you were a *rock* in sobriety is an act of ego. Nobody can help you until you're willing to let go, if even just a little.

Being another bozo on the bus isn't so bad. Stick around, and you'll get a window seat.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

CarolD

Well..
I'm not a man...but I'm years older than you
and I am AA sober for 19+ years.

Please PM me if you think I might be able to help
you with re-starting your sobriety.

Our Forum...Alcoholism 12 Step Support has a lot
of active AA members for you to contact
via PM or by sharing there.

We also have a Mens Room...if you want to share
only with men...please check it out.

Prayers coming your way
Welcome to our recovery community...

flutter

Sorry for asking. Many people come here before they are ready.. I like to ask sometimes to see how best to support people that are seeking help.

Good luck on your journey.

flutter

And.. as for my other post, I was just clarifying that this wasn't an AA Chat room/message board. A lot of people here participate in AA, a lot don't.

Sorry bout that one too!! geesh