LaDita

For a long time I've pondered how to tell acquaintances that I can't drink. I read a post on here by someone who tells people that alcohol interferes with their medication.
Well just a few moments ago, I was looking at some photo's of a friend had taken of what looked like a really fun night at bar.
I know this person drinks often, but not to the point like I have, and it's part of this person's job.
To sum it up, some people can and other people can't. Without giving away too much information of myself, I think it would be easier to just say "Partying [or drinking] is fun, but I've seen too much of the bad effects from it that I've decided it's not for me".
Does anyone else have any suggestions on what to tell acquaintances and other people you aren't close to or comfortable with giving it away that you're an alcoholic?

Thanks in advance,

LD

Gypsy Feet

I've decided to try telling my mom and other relatives my New Year's resolution was to get healthy. I've been on weight watchers for about 15 months. The first 9 months I lost 45 pounds, I still have another 25-ish to go. Everyone who knows me knows the extra pounds came from beer, so I'm hoping it will be believable.

Unfortunately, a large % of my friends were there to watch me hit bottom the night it happened, no explanation needed to them><

least

I think the 'getting healthy' explanation would work well. No need for further explaining.

Pam08

I have not found it a problem, I just say I do not drink. It is amazing but there are alot of non alcoholics out there whom do not drink. I have not had anyone even give me a smirk at that ever.

TryingSoHard

LaDita, I'm currently struggling with the same question. I have a lot of "acquaintances" with whom I've had plenty to drink in the past - so they know I'm a drinker, but they aren't close enough to me that I want to tell them anything more than, "I don't drink anymore." The hard part is that, since they KNOW I used to drink (and was very good at it), the inevitable next question is, "Oh? How come??" and that's the part that makes me nervous.

I know I don't owe these people an explanation, but I also don't like to lie and I don't like to be rude for the sake of being rude. So there are several people that still don't know I've quit drinking and it still makes me nervous whenever we have plans with them (even though I like them a lot and we always have fun when we hang out, alcohol or no alcohol).

I've thought about saying something about losing weight and getting healthier (which is NOT a lie), and I've thought about saying something to the extent that I'm getting older and I've realized that it's just not for me anymore. Or I could say, "I dunno, I just didn't want to anymore" and leave it at that.

Let me know if you come up with anything more clever.

Anna

I really feel like I don't anyone an explanation.

I think a 'No, thanks' is enough, and if someone persists, I just smile.

Early on, I tried saying 'I'm taking antibiotics or whatever' and I hated the lying. I resented that I felt pushed to lying because someone was asking me something personal, that I didn't want to explain about.

Usually, it's worked out well for me, as it's often in a group setting and no one is really paying much attention.

tellus

The problem I've found with things like that ("I'm allergic," "I'm on medication," et cetera) is that it makes people curious. I'm not quick enough conversationally to to deal with it if people ask "Oh? So what happens if you drink?"

Honestly, just saying I don't feel like drinking or I don't like the taste works as well as anything.

TryingSoHard

That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid, too. I don't want to lie, but I don't want to be rude, either. Why can't some people just accept "No thanks" as an answer? Why do they feel the need to pry?? It's very frustrating.

flutter

Luckily most intelligent people know that drinking isn't healthy for ANYONE, problem or not. It's a new year, you're getting healthier, and making smarter choices. I never tell people I "can't" drink, I just simply say that I don't. Half of them probably know I had a problem, half of them likely think I'm pregnant.. lol.. either way, doesn't matter to me.. I'm just healthier

getr345

If someone, for whatever reason, does not participate in the consumption of intoxicants, I hardly think they are the one who owes anyone an explanation. Quite the opposite in fact, I think it's the one sucking on the the butts and pounding the drinks that's got some esplainin' to do, lol...

TryingSoHard

See, you tell people you quit smoking and they get all happy and congratulatory. You tell people you quit drinking and they try to talk you into having "just one more, just this time."

Idiots.

mle-sober

This issue always baffles me. What is the problem with just saying, "No thanks, I don't drink." And then if they ask why, stating, "I'm a recovering alcoholic."

There is nothing to be ashamed of by that! It's something to be proud of! We are recovering. That's amazing. That's wonderful.

If other people are freaked out in any way when we state the truth, who cares? It's their freak out - it doesn't have to be ours. I have absolutely no problem saying that I'm a recovering alcoholic. And I do, in fact, feel proud of it.

Don't let your ideas of what other people might or might not think dictate the level of truthfulness that you approach lilfe with. For me, part of recovery is coming out of the closet. And a huge part of that is a determination not to lie. And to rid myself of shame.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. I used to. But I don't any more.

One funny thing a fellow recovering alcoholic says when asked if she wants a drink is, "No thanks. I've had enough." Which is so funny because it's true but not exactly in the way the person asking thinks it is.

But honestly, I relish the opportunities to say that I am a recovering alcoholic. I feel proud and totally unashamed of that.

I maybe am missing a sensitivity to the issue that others have. Don't know why - but it's just never bothered me.

TryingSoHard

I envy you that, mle. I am NOT there. Maybe one day, but not today.

I like the, "No thanks, I've had enough" though. Might use that one!

snowdog

Exactly!! Have you ever heard of a smoker trying to talk another smoker out of quiting?? Nope!

I too have struggled with what to say to my former drinking buddies when I am out with them now socially. I tend to be a bit of a smart a#$ anyway so my plan is to just smile and say if I have one I'll want 13 (that is actually a country song, by Blake Shelton I think) and then say that I have worked too hard to lose weight to waste my calories on alcohol tonight.

Latte

I distract them with the fact that I've had gastric bypass (true) and I don't abosorb alcohol the same as others. True I drank after my bypass but I don't need to keep doing it..it's not good for me!

I do tell people that I don't drink because I make stupid decisions when I do. It's true.

Or..you can just say no. It is a complete sentence.

TryingSoHard

I've read that often in the F&F forum and I love it. Yes, we tend to forget that, "No." is a complete sentence that needs no additional words. Thank you.

CAPTAINZING2000

Close friends and family know I'm in AA or, I've quit drinking anyway.

The people that, I'm not real good friends with that ask if, I want to go have a drink or, offer me one , I tell them, I'm alergic to alcohol. That's not a lie. I always have a bad reaction when, I drink

SoberforME

I think that when you are ready that it's good to say I'm in AA or recovery. That's what got me sober was seeing people with these great personalities and lives being sober and in recovery for years and years.

However for now, I would say, "Oh I don't drink" and act like it's the most natural thing in the world. Most people won't care and the ones that do usually need meetings themselves

grrrr

I have found that the answer of "getting healthier" or being on a health kick has worked great. And it is not a lie at all. The only time I had any prying people was with a group of work folks that knew I used to drink quite a bit. Saying I was trying to lose weight and be healthy got the most prodding person to shut up. Still, I have found that in most social situations, no one cares that I am not drinking and no, thanks works great. Even people I used to drink with will say, nice, good for you.

MLE, I am curious if you really tell people in work situations that you are a recovering alcoholic? Regardless of who owns the freak out, the perceptions from other people will follow you around. I have told my good friends that I am recovering or that I quit because I used to drink to much. But, I don't think it is appropriate to bring up in a work situation. I am not ashamed of being an alcoholic, but I can't control what opportunities at work would be lost if other folks think it is shameful. This is an interesting subject, so I am just curious.

justanothrdrunk

I was worried about this too. But, it's been my experience that nobody cares whether I drink or not.

When at a bar or restaurant, I order whatever. No one says anything.

When I'm at someone's home and am offered something to drink, I ask for whatever. No one says anything.

When offered alcohol, I say "no thanks." And ask if they have any soda or anything. No one says anything.

It's just never come up.