soberseventy

I won't go into details, but I am very ashamed and angry at myself right now. But it might have been a blessing in disguise - I had decided and told friends and family that 2009 will be my first try at 90+ days sober. Pathetically, that lasted all of five days. I went to a college basketball game with friends, had a huge upset victory over a top-ranked team and longtime rivals, and...you know where this ends up.

I've been putting off AA for quite a while now, mainly because I didn't want to sit around and hear war stories (at least that's my simple impression of meetings). Now that I will have to go to meetings, I've decided that I will be open-minded, non-judgmental, and work the steps - by the book.

No more excuses, rationalizations, and/or attempts at "moderation". No more unemployment, hangovers, and wasted years. I've come to realize that I cannot be trusted with alcohol. Simple as that. Looking back, virtually all of the problems I've had in life can be attributed to alcohol. From fifteen years old to now.

I also suffer from chronic depression and drinking is probably the worst thing you can do when trying to deal with that disease.

I have to stop being my own worst enemy.

I'm not looking for pity, but would be grateful for any prayers.

Today begins my sobriety, one day at a time.

mxchaos

good luck you can do this and sober is so much better

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community...

Depression is why I began AA recovery.
I was diagnosed with situational depression
which started to lift within a breif time sober.

This may not be true for you...but it's something
to consider when you are seeking recovery.

Glad you are here with us...Blessings as you move forward ..

least

You can get and stay sober - one day at a time. Come here often for support. You may want to give AA a good try too. Lots of support in those rooms.

:ghug3 Welcome!

readyforhelp

I'm praying for you. You can do it !

soberseventy

Thanks for the replies, guys and gals. Your words of encouragement mean more than you know.

Hopefully I will be able to pay it forward and help someone here and in 'real life' as well.

CAPTAINZING2000

Who are you going to games with? I know they can't baby sit for you but, I'd distance myself from friends that drink heavy and help enable you

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

I think early sobriety involves making some very tough choices. For me, I could not be around alcohol at all, for quite awhile. I had to find other activities to fill my time, and it was a time of growth.

If, like me, your depression came first, you may need to get it treated by a dr. I did and still take antidepressants and always will. If, like Carol, drinking caused your depression, it should gradually lift as you recover.

Hevyn

Hi sober - well you have a great attitude & that counts for alot. I was a heavy drinker most of my life, and as you said - most of the bad things that have happened to me can be blamed on alcohol consumption. I wish it hadn't taken me 25 years to finally admit that, though! While I don't attend AA meetings myself, and use SR as my recovery aid, I don't think you should elmiminate that possibility. Many swear by the help they get from the program & the face-to-face. If one group doesn't appeal to you, try another, until you get a good fit. However, it can be done through determination and SR alone - I'm proof of that. Congratulations on the new life you're about to begin.

rosygirl

Hey soberseventy,

I'm sorry to hear about your dwi. I also had one, but unfortunately it was not my wake-up call. I had to end up in the hospital to realize that I needed help. Use the dwi as your catalyst to stop drinking before things get worse.

the first thing that helped me immensely was reading the stories in the back of the Big Book. That was when I truly realized that I was not alone and that I was indeed an alcoholic. But it was really comforting to see that people had been going through the same things that I'd been through for decades and decades.

As far as AA meetings, some are really good and some will not be a good fit for you. Keep looking until you find one that feels right. They can be very enjoyable and helpful. The people are wonderful, kind and accepting. It is a place where nothing you've ever done will be judged, because everyone understands. Yes, there is some chanting and things you might find cheesy, but the meat of the meeting is listening to other people share and learning from their experiences. Keep an open mind, like you talked about and you have nothing to lose - everything to gain.

~Beth

shaun00

hi and welcome..
On the positive side...you havent lost the desire to get sober...thats a blessing.
Im sorry to hear of your negative experience with AA....but i know where your coming from with the war storys..
I tried lots of different ones and stuck with the ones that had worked for me.
Now it is a big part of my recovery..
Good luck and keep us posted.. and god be with you......trucker

Surlyredhead

Hi and welcome!
It doesn't matter how or why you got here, the fact is that you are here. I am glad you are starting your recovery with us, it is a great way to live, not always easy, but ALWAYS worth it!

Cathy