?? for those who attened Alanon Meetings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 74
?? for those who attened Alanon Meetings
How often do you go - once a week, once a month, several times a month? Or does it vary based on what you are dealing with at the moment?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hey JerseyG-
In early days I went sometimes 5 days a week!!!! There was lunchtime meeting that I just loved and was convenient. That probably lasted 3 months. Then I used to go weekly on Wed. nights - that lasted a long time ... man I felt better!!!
Then I went sporadically for several years. Then when a brother had a major crisis and almost lost his life and I felt very weak again I ramped up my meetings for a while.
Now I go sporadically again- although I found a meeting and went 3 times over X-mas holidays out of town! It was just what I needed.
I think the best rhythm just depends on where I am at.
How's yours going?
B.
In early days I went sometimes 5 days a week!!!! There was lunchtime meeting that I just loved and was convenient. That probably lasted 3 months. Then I used to go weekly on Wed. nights - that lasted a long time ... man I felt better!!!
Then I went sporadically for several years. Then when a brother had a major crisis and almost lost his life and I felt very weak again I ramped up my meetings for a while.
Now I go sporadically again- although I found a meeting and went 3 times over X-mas holidays out of town! It was just what I needed.
I think the best rhythm just depends on where I am at.
How's yours going?
B.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Several years ago for about an 8 month period, I attended Al-Anon once a week; 3 open AA meetings, one open NA meeting all in the same week. I also surrounded myself with others in recovery and tried to soak in as much recovery as possible. I drove over 30 miles each way for those meetings and have no regrets.
Right now I attend one Al-Anon meeting regularly and am trying to find another one to use as a home group as well.
I'm interested as to why you haven't tried it yet.
Right now I attend one Al-Anon meeting regularly and am trying to find another one to use as a home group as well.
I'm interested as to why you haven't tried it yet.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I have a home group that I attended once per week for several yrs.
It was fantastic to make friends and feel safe in the group that became familiar.
I took a speaker role every few months and service positions.
Now I go about once per mo.
I have a couple of very dear friends that I made from this group and
we work the program together.
It was fantastic to make friends and feel safe in the group that became familiar.
I took a speaker role every few months and service positions.
Now I go about once per mo.
I have a couple of very dear friends that I made from this group and
we work the program together.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Hay Jersey,
I found a home group that only met once a week and at first I wasn’t thrilled with it/them. I gave myself the chance to stick with it for a few months and found myself growing and gaining so much. I think I went once a week for about a year and a half then started to taper it off to about once a month. I don’t think I’ve been to a meeting since before Christmas.
For me I find that doing something every single day for my recovery, reading, coming here or talking with someone else in recovery is how I survive.
I found a home group that only met once a week and at first I wasn’t thrilled with it/them. I gave myself the chance to stick with it for a few months and found myself growing and gaining so much. I think I went once a week for about a year and a half then started to taper it off to about once a month. I don’t think I’ve been to a meeting since before Christmas.
For me I find that doing something every single day for my recovery, reading, coming here or talking with someone else in recovery is how I survive.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I go at least once a week. When I'm traveling on business, I look up meetings in other cities and have gone to those from time to time.
There are many different kinds of meetings, but all seem to have some things in common:
The meeting will usually start and stop right on time and normally will last for one hour. The person who is chairing the meeting will start by reading the Al Anon opening, then they will read the 12 steps, sometimes the 12 traditions, and then everyone will go around and introduce themselves by first name only.
Step Study meetings focus on the 12 steps. Some discuss one step per meeting, some discuss a step per month. Normally in a step study meeting each person would do a reading from one of the books or might share some personal experience with that step.
Topic meetings are a bit more flexible. The person chairing the meeting chooses a topic and members go around the circle and comment about it. Sometimes they will read from a book like Courage To Change or Paths to Recovery by going to the index and finding that topic… again, they may just share their experience, strength and hope.
Most meetings ask that a person keep their sharing brief and on topic, and that there be no cross talk. Each person is sharing about their own experience and their own life. If the person who is sharing asks a question, she might not get a direct answer right away. If that’s the case, you can always ask someone after the meeting if you want to know more.
Most of the meetings I have attended have time before and after the meetings for a one-on-one where you can ask specific questions etc. You can approach nearly anyone there to talk. Most meetings also have a phone list, and you are encouraged to call people to talk about specific things going on.
When I first started going to meetings I was really surprised. I expected to hear a lot of women all complaining about how awful their husbands/boyfriends were and how sad and tragic and chaotic their lives were…. And what could be done to get them clean and sober.
Obviously, that’s not how it works. Not at all. The people at the meetings suggested that I keep the focus on ME and not on the alcoholic. They suggested that I could find recovery and even happiness whether the alcoholic continued to drink or not. They told me that I could do this by working the steps myself, by finding a sponsor, by reading the Al Anon literature.
Al Anon saved my life. I am forever grateful to the people in those meetings who got me on the right path.
Taking those first steps: finding a meeting, driving to it and walking in the door... those are HUGE. I was scared... I remember sitting in the car in the parking lot, frozen to my seat, unable to go inside. I also remember walking in, sitting down, crying for an hour and leaving. Inexplicably, I felt better and wanted to go back!
There are many different kinds of meetings, but all seem to have some things in common:
The meeting will usually start and stop right on time and normally will last for one hour. The person who is chairing the meeting will start by reading the Al Anon opening, then they will read the 12 steps, sometimes the 12 traditions, and then everyone will go around and introduce themselves by first name only.
Step Study meetings focus on the 12 steps. Some discuss one step per meeting, some discuss a step per month. Normally in a step study meeting each person would do a reading from one of the books or might share some personal experience with that step.
Topic meetings are a bit more flexible. The person chairing the meeting chooses a topic and members go around the circle and comment about it. Sometimes they will read from a book like Courage To Change or Paths to Recovery by going to the index and finding that topic… again, they may just share their experience, strength and hope.
Most meetings ask that a person keep their sharing brief and on topic, and that there be no cross talk. Each person is sharing about their own experience and their own life. If the person who is sharing asks a question, she might not get a direct answer right away. If that’s the case, you can always ask someone after the meeting if you want to know more.
Most of the meetings I have attended have time before and after the meetings for a one-on-one where you can ask specific questions etc. You can approach nearly anyone there to talk. Most meetings also have a phone list, and you are encouraged to call people to talk about specific things going on.
When I first started going to meetings I was really surprised. I expected to hear a lot of women all complaining about how awful their husbands/boyfriends were and how sad and tragic and chaotic their lives were…. And what could be done to get them clean and sober.
Obviously, that’s not how it works. Not at all. The people at the meetings suggested that I keep the focus on ME and not on the alcoholic. They suggested that I could find recovery and even happiness whether the alcoholic continued to drink or not. They told me that I could do this by working the steps myself, by finding a sponsor, by reading the Al Anon literature.
Al Anon saved my life. I am forever grateful to the people in those meetings who got me on the right path.
Taking those first steps: finding a meeting, driving to it and walking in the door... those are HUGE. I was scared... I remember sitting in the car in the parking lot, frozen to my seat, unable to go inside. I also remember walking in, sitting down, crying for an hour and leaving. Inexplicably, I felt better and wanted to go back!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Western WA
Posts: 132
I go to my "home group" once a week. Due to my work schedule, sometimes I can't make my regular meeting. If that's the case, I try very hard to make it to at least one meeting per week. If I'm having an especially hard time, I go to more. For example, my home meeting is on Friday mornings, but the last 2 days have been kinda rough around my house, so I'm leaving for a meeting in 10 minutes. Will likely still go on Friday morning.....
I have found that sometimes the less I *feel* like going to a meeting..........the more I *need* to go!! The more I want to sit around the house in my sweats, the more I need to take a shower, get dressed, and get out of the house!! A meeting is always a productive way for me to start my day!
I have found that sometimes the less I *feel* like going to a meeting..........the more I *need* to go!! The more I want to sit around the house in my sweats, the more I need to take a shower, get dressed, and get out of the house!! A meeting is always a productive way for me to start my day!
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
I go once a week. This week I am going twice.
I know it is hard to take that first step. I invisioned it for a year before I actually walked through those doors.
I was afraid of who I might see there. At my first meeting I saw a women I used to work with. I was so embarressed. You know what she did? She came over and hugged me. It was just what I needed.
They say try a few different meetings out and go to at least six before you make a decision either way.
I know I feel better just getting in my car and driving to a meeting!
I know it is hard to take that first step. I invisioned it for a year before I actually walked through those doors.
I was afraid of who I might see there. At my first meeting I saw a women I used to work with. I was so embarressed. You know what she did? She came over and hugged me. It was just what I needed.
They say try a few different meetings out and go to at least six before you make a decision either way.
I know I feel better just getting in my car and driving to a meeting!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: michigan
Posts: 30
I go at least once a week. This is what I need for right now, maybe when I'm stronger I can go every other week or once a month. I really like going and look forward to my weekly meeting. Whatever works best for YOU! 
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,636
I typically attend 2 Al Anon and 2 open AA meetings per week.
When I first started (January '04), I just attended my homegroup and I really couldn't understand why anyone would need more than that. By the middle of my first year, I was probably attending 2 Al Anon meetings most weeks, and then by the fall of that year I had added the GLBT AA meeting that I have, since that time, attended weekly. Probably within the next 6 months, I added a regular "floater" meeting -- usually an AA meeting that I attend at noon on a weekday.
There have been weeks -- when I've been struggling with something or when I've been really working hard on a particular step or when I'm working with a newcomer -- that I've attended 9 or 10 meetings.
Here's the thing for me: 12 Step work is my spiritual practice and it permeates -- in a healthy, helpful, nurturing, growth-inducing way -- every aspect of my life. I work it hard and I take advantage of the help/comfort/understanding/connection/guidance it can give me whenever I need any of those things. I know absolutely for a fact that if I go to a meeting, I will come out better-off than I was before I went in, and we have, weekly, 70-80 AL Anon and over 300 AA meetings in my area, so why on earth wouldn't I take advantage of that??????
...and I look at it like this: If I were, say, a yogi master (or a Carmelite nun, or a Jewish cantor, or whatever.....) would that mean that I practiced yogic meditation techniques once a week for a few years 20 years ago or would that mean that my life is devoted to an ever developing and increasing practice, understanding, and mastery of everything yogic teaching and practice has to offer? Well, my life is devoted to an ever-developing and increasing practice, understanding, and mastery of everything 12 Step practice and teaching has to offer.
....and, so far, this approach is working really, really well for me!!!!
freya
When I first started (January '04), I just attended my homegroup and I really couldn't understand why anyone would need more than that. By the middle of my first year, I was probably attending 2 Al Anon meetings most weeks, and then by the fall of that year I had added the GLBT AA meeting that I have, since that time, attended weekly. Probably within the next 6 months, I added a regular "floater" meeting -- usually an AA meeting that I attend at noon on a weekday.
There have been weeks -- when I've been struggling with something or when I've been really working hard on a particular step or when I'm working with a newcomer -- that I've attended 9 or 10 meetings.
Here's the thing for me: 12 Step work is my spiritual practice and it permeates -- in a healthy, helpful, nurturing, growth-inducing way -- every aspect of my life. I work it hard and I take advantage of the help/comfort/understanding/connection/guidance it can give me whenever I need any of those things. I know absolutely for a fact that if I go to a meeting, I will come out better-off than I was before I went in, and we have, weekly, 70-80 AL Anon and over 300 AA meetings in my area, so why on earth wouldn't I take advantage of that??????
...and I look at it like this: If I were, say, a yogi master (or a Carmelite nun, or a Jewish cantor, or whatever.....) would that mean that I practiced yogic meditation techniques once a week for a few years 20 years ago or would that mean that my life is devoted to an ever developing and increasing practice, understanding, and mastery of everything yogic teaching and practice has to offer? Well, my life is devoted to an ever-developing and increasing practice, understanding, and mastery of everything 12 Step practice and teaching has to offer.
....and, so far, this approach is working really, really well for me!!!!
freya
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