The Children or child involved
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7
The Children or child involved
Hi All!!!
I have been on & off here for a little while, I am getting MYSELF better now & I am personally feeling better & better.
Here are my worries now & I really need some HELP.
I have been planning & preparing myself to move on with my life & all is going well except when I start to think about my daughter. She is 3 & very much a daddy's girl. I know unless
(& I'm not holding my breath or even planning on this to happen) my AH completely recovers I am going to leave him. But when I think about my daughter being away from her daddy or when I think about my daughter spending weekends or what not with her dad (you know the whole shared custody thing) & he is an alcoholic I start to worry soooo much about her being in a car with him or just him being too drunk to take care of her. Does anyone have ANY advice for me? Is there legal action I can take to prevent this from happening?
I don't know if I could ever leave knowing he may have her & not be sober & my worst fear of all driving with her that way.
I am so beside myself with this I don't know where else to turn.
I have been on & off here for a little while, I am getting MYSELF better now & I am personally feeling better & better.
Here are my worries now & I really need some HELP.
I have been planning & preparing myself to move on with my life & all is going well except when I start to think about my daughter. She is 3 & very much a daddy's girl. I know unless
(& I'm not holding my breath or even planning on this to happen) my AH completely recovers I am going to leave him. But when I think about my daughter being away from her daddy or when I think about my daughter spending weekends or what not with her dad (you know the whole shared custody thing) & he is an alcoholic I start to worry soooo much about her being in a car with him or just him being too drunk to take care of her. Does anyone have ANY advice for me? Is there legal action I can take to prevent this from happening?
I don't know if I could ever leave knowing he may have her & not be sober & my worst fear of all driving with her that way.
I am so beside myself with this I don't know where else to turn.
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: walking down a happier trail
Posts: 50
2stay,
What I did was file for divorce... Now you need to know that when I did that I was wanting to protect the kids. I had it in there that he couldnt just come and take the kids and disappear with them and he cant drink when he has them. I requested a guardian ad litem to spoke on their behalf for their best interests. I know that wont work for everyone. so far it is working for me tho. There are lots of legal things that you can do.. I would just the internet a a huge resource to help you. There is so much info out there for the taking. Good Luck to you!
Love and Light,
Kat
What I did was file for divorce... Now you need to know that when I did that I was wanting to protect the kids. I had it in there that he couldnt just come and take the kids and disappear with them and he cant drink when he has them. I requested a guardian ad litem to spoke on their behalf for their best interests. I know that wont work for everyone. so far it is working for me tho. There are lots of legal things that you can do.. I would just the internet a a huge resource to help you. There is so much info out there for the taking. Good Luck to you!
Love and Light,
Kat
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hi, I have been in your shoes
And you are very smart to be thinking about these things in advance. My son spent a great deal of time not seeing his Dad on the weekends because it was obvious to me that his Dad was drinking again and I would not entrust my child to someone in his condition. My ex-A has now been through rehab and is doing very well with his recovery at this point. Our agreements are all verbal and between us, nothing legal. Our agreements are:
If I have any doubt as to his sobriety when he comes to pick our son up, our son does not leave with him. Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong.
I am to get a phone call on Saturday. If I have any doubts as to ex-A's sobriety, I will then go to his house and fetch the boy.
Ex-A is very agreeable to all this. It's amazing how much understanding and humility he has achieved by working a daily program.
In your case, with an alcoholic who is actively drinking, I would seek out legal help. Your daughter is young and can't call you and say "Dad's drunk, come get me." And god forbid he should pass out while he has her, leaving her with no one to care for her.
I wish you all the best. I know that these are hard decisions to make. But remember that your child's best interests might not always be spending time with her Dad, especially if he is drinking. Good luck. I will say a prayer that this all works out well for you and your daughter.
Peace,
Gabe
If I have any doubt as to his sobriety when he comes to pick our son up, our son does not leave with him. Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong.
I am to get a phone call on Saturday. If I have any doubts as to ex-A's sobriety, I will then go to his house and fetch the boy.
Ex-A is very agreeable to all this. It's amazing how much understanding and humility he has achieved by working a daily program.
In your case, with an alcoholic who is actively drinking, I would seek out legal help. Your daughter is young and can't call you and say "Dad's drunk, come get me." And god forbid he should pass out while he has her, leaving her with no one to care for her.
I wish you all the best. I know that these are hard decisions to make. But remember that your child's best interests might not always be spending time with her Dad, especially if he is drinking. Good luck. I will say a prayer that this all works out well for you and your daughter.
Peace,
Gabe
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