mle-sober

Well, I am coming up on my one year birthday (thanks in a large part to you guys, SR as a whole and AA) of sobriety - Feb 2. And I have decided to bite the bullet and tell my story at the birthday meeting that following Saturday. I feel loved and supported at my home AA meeting and I know this is something that will be good for me.

BUT, I'm soooooo scared!!! I'm a person who cries really easily and I'm afraid I'm just going to start crying immediately. Also, I invited my parents and my sister and my husband and I feel nervous about speaking in front of them.

I'm betting that there are many of you here who have already gotten up and told your story. I'm wondering if you have any suggestions. What helped you? Did you use notes? I've never seen anyone use notes but it's hard to imagine doing it without some notes. I am afraid I'd just freeze and not remember what I wanted to say.

My story is fairly traumatic. Childhood abuse. Rape. Many psychiatric hospitalizations. I am just so scared. Any ideas?

yeahgr8

I can only hope i do as well as you this year, congrats on your one year birthday

Pinkcuda

Let me know when and where. I'll drive down for the occasion!
There are really three stories you tell when it comes to speaking at a meeting. The one you rehearse, the one you tell, and the one that haunts you about what you should have said while you're driving home. It happens to everybody.
Therefore you shouldn't think about what to say until you get there. Besides, it's your story. How could you forget the lines?

shaun00

hi mle-sober and congratulations..a truly historic mile stone..
Firstly i talk about everything i want to.... not everything i think i SHOULD talk about.
I dont share about my childhood..........i only say "secrets and fear"
Thats as much i feel i want to reveal to members..........i have very close friends to share that with.........mainly my wife.
I understand your nervousness but remember the members are just drunks in recovery....like you and me.....it isnt the parole board.....although it might feel like it....lol
I keep it to three chapters.

1..How deep was the hole...........and how i got in it.

2..How i got out of the hole.

3..What i do so i dont fall down the hole again.

Sounds funny but thats what i bear in mind...if there are a lot of newcomers i tend to spend more time on "how i got out the hole"

Dont worry about crying........i do it all the time and im a trucker...lol

Your gonna be great ......i wish i was there......well done.........trucker.

Lenina

trucker,

That is brilliant, thanks!

mle, I am not good at speaking but I would say try to keep it simple, like trucker's plan. Don't worry about crying, if you need a good recommend for water-proof mascara, I have one, but I think you're a guy.

Love,

Lenina

Rusty Zipper

congratulations mle

one dash of Experience

two dashes of Strength

and three parts Hope

no notes, and no dress rehearsals

get, there, and let it flow from the mind, body and soul

i'm come'n!

Sugah

Yes, a few. Take them or leave them as you will.

• Pray before hand for your HP to put the words in your mouth.
• You only have to tell enough of "how it was" to relate to the newcomer. Don't forget to save plenty of time for a message of hope.
• It's not a 5th step. I have never spoken about childhood trauma in detail in a lead. I save that for my sponsor and domestic/sexual abuse rallies.

Oh, and one more: nobody's going to be grading you, so relax. It's your story.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

gravity

I spoke at my birthday meeting a few weeks ago. I did not get into many details about my life before I joined AA. Rather, I talked about:

-the state of my life one year ago (the fear, self-hatred, the sickness, everything out of control) and compared it to what it is like now (not perfect but so much better). It's a sharp contrast.
-how critical the steps are and how I struggled but still managed to get through them (with help).
-how my sponsor, the fellowship, & meetings are helping me.
-my Higher Power and how I never feel alone anymore.
-how alcohol no longer has a place in my life, how the promises are coming true.
-I thanked everyone for their help.

How I felt when I first joined AA is still very vivid. I would get so much strength and hope from listening to people with even just a few months more sobriety than me. I try to keep this in mind whenever I am speaking. I think about that person who is one day sober, who is struggling, who has no hope. That was me just a very short time ago.

mle-sober

Thank you to each of you! Your words do help. I'm printing them out to help guide me. So I can refresh my memory when the date is closer. A lot of good advice. It helps to calm me down inside.

Pinkuda - would you really come? Are you nearby? That would be a hoot!

Lenina - I actually am female - and as such, do have a good waterproof mascara. That's funny, though. You made me laugh.

Thanks again!

least

If speaking in public makes you nervous, imagine your audience in their underwear! I've done that and it helps!:ghug3

Rella927

Least!

I say DITTO!

warrens

You go, girl!

Really, you will do fine.

Where do you begin with a painting, Em? When do you end? I think most people would shudder to contemplate an empty canvas.

"Paint" your story, Em. The colors, textures, etc. It will come naturally, because it is true... If the tears come, so be it. You will have earned every one.

warren

HideorSeek

Congratulations Em! You are such an inspiration with your wisdom, honesty and humility. I agree that it will come and I love what Warrens said...it's so true about your painting and it will happen at your anniversary, I'm sure. Hugs coming your way!

Pinkcuda

I might show up with your invite! I wouldn't if you were uncomfortable for some reason which I would fully understand.
I'm just up the road in Severance. It's about 20 miles East of Fort Collins.

CAPTAINZING2000

What a terrible though thaving people think of me in my underwear


Seriously though, speak from your heart. Ask God to put the words in your mouth. Set ego aside.

You provide ESH to someone new to AA as well as reaffirm people with sobriety why, they no longer drink.

First time I spoke was at a huge crowd in St. Louis. I mentioned about how AA had turned my life around and brought me back to God. I no sooner spoke that and the lights above me started flickering on and off. Might not be a burning bush but, it was spiritual to me

You'll do well

mle-sober

SteamVessle - I'll be speaking February 7. Think of me that day, if you remember.

Thanks2HP

Congratulations! I hope Feb 2 marks the first of many AA Birthdays...

Like Sugah, before speaking I always say a prayer for my HP whom I refer to as God, to give me "the thoughts to think and the words to say".

I try to stick to "What is was like"... "What happened"... and "What it is like now"... It seems that once I get started the words just start to flow. What Pinkcuda said is dead on.
Best of luck. As long as you help just one person you've been of service. Believe me you'll be helping yourself more than anyone else in the room so you've already succeeded before you've finished your share.

-R

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of anyone else in the known universe...

scaredykat

Wow, Congratulations on your year coming up mle-sober. I'm almost a year myself. I'll be getting my 1 year medallion next Saturday at my home group. I won't be speaking, but i have to share quick on "how I did it".

My suggestion to you is to just share what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. My life story was also traumatic with child abuse, abusive 1st husband, etc. I know I could be picked anytime now to speak and I plan on not leaving any of my story out. It's who i was.

Good luck speaking. I know you'll do great. You'll have to post and let us know how you made out.

mle-sober

Thank you everyone! I will post for sure and let youknow how it went.

ScardeyKat - congratulations on your year of sobriety. That's wonderful!!!

CAPTAINZING2000

Tape and and put it on here for us to here