How Do You Live In The Moment?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
How Do You Live In The Moment?
Hi - Question for all of you.
I am in early recovery and trying to get rid of some of my alcoholic/addictive thinking. I really didn't drink or get impaired at work. That was my line in the sand, although that line in the sand got close, and it was always moving, in the wrong direction...
But, there was always that promise, the "reward" at home of a good buzz. Alcohol, maybe a short acting benzo and a nice nap, a stimulant if not too late in the day... All self-centered BS behavior... But, I am a chemically dependent person, and that was what got me through the day and kind of "made it all worth it"... And all through through the week, waiting for the weekend (what was that song from the 80's?).
Now, I realize that is insane thinking. I am trying to live in each moment now and make each task at work (and at home) it's own reward. It's not always easy. I am grateful I still have my work, and having gratitude helps in a big way.
How do you fellow travelers in recovery deal with "Living in the Moment". Does what I say resonate with you? What works?
Thanx
Mark
I am in early recovery and trying to get rid of some of my alcoholic/addictive thinking. I really didn't drink or get impaired at work. That was my line in the sand, although that line in the sand got close, and it was always moving, in the wrong direction...
But, there was always that promise, the "reward" at home of a good buzz. Alcohol, maybe a short acting benzo and a nice nap, a stimulant if not too late in the day... All self-centered BS behavior... But, I am a chemically dependent person, and that was what got me through the day and kind of "made it all worth it"... And all through through the week, waiting for the weekend (what was that song from the 80's?).
Now, I realize that is insane thinking. I am trying to live in each moment now and make each task at work (and at home) it's own reward. It's not always easy. I am grateful I still have my work, and having gratitude helps in a big way.
How do you fellow travelers in recovery deal with "Living in the Moment". Does what I say resonate with you? What works?
Thanx
Mark
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Very hard to live in the moment.
I find the best way for me to live in the moment is for me to break the train of thoughts when my mind begins 'projecting' negatively into the future, regressing backwards, or when my mind tells me it is okay to use.
When I start having 'out of the moment' thoughts:
* As soon as I realize I am 'out of the moment' I begin reciting the 12 steps in my mind.
* Or I start singing a song, either out loud or to myself.
Whatever it takes for me to break my train of thought. Once I break the train of thought I usually always get back on an even keel.
In essence, I 'force' my mind to think about something else.
I find the best way for me to live in the moment is for me to break the train of thoughts when my mind begins 'projecting' negatively into the future, regressing backwards, or when my mind tells me it is okay to use.
When I start having 'out of the moment' thoughts:
* As soon as I realize I am 'out of the moment' I begin reciting the 12 steps in my mind.
* Or I start singing a song, either out loud or to myself.
Whatever it takes for me to break my train of thought. Once I break the train of thought I usually always get back on an even keel.
In essence, I 'force' my mind to think about something else.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,745
I have trouble with that as I'm constantly regretting the past and worrying about the future. The best example I have to follow is my dogs. They don't measure time as we do (except for their stomachs telling them it's time to eat) but enjoy whatever comes their way. THey are not always internally debating intellectual matters, but simply 'living'. I am trying to do the same.
In the book A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN by Betty Smith there's a scene where Francie's grandmother is dying. She tells her daughter and granddaughter "to see everything as if you're seeing it for the first or last time; thus will your days on earth be filled with glory." That's very good advice.
In the book A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN by Betty Smith there's a scene where Francie's grandmother is dying. She tells her daughter and granddaughter "to see everything as if you're seeing it for the first or last time; thus will your days on earth be filled with glory." That's very good advice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
living in the moment or "stay where your hands are" is very helpful to me. I find repetative self talk can help when i get out of the momnet. A favorite I used in early sobriety...
I am ok in this moment
I have everything I need
I am grateful.
I am ok in this moment
I have everything I need
I am grateful.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
It is a really hard thing to do, and I still find myself wandering off into the past or the future.
Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth" lays a complete and total groundwork for living in the moment and for setting aside the ego. It's been really helpful to me.
Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth" lays a complete and total groundwork for living in the moment and for setting aside the ego. It's been really helpful to me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Good Question and I hope someday we find the answer. I can relate to the work thing but I crossed that line twice which was probably the start of really really heavy drinking. Of course in my mind I had a good excuse but that is how my end came which is a good thing.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I really don't know how to live in the moment. If I happen to be in a good mood, it's easy. I'm having a hard time trying to manage my moods--it's largly out of my control.
Some of the small things that help are simple--I love looking up into the night sky...it never fails to wow me. Looking at the rest of nature is good...it's peaceful for me to listen to the birds sing and look at a stream and listen to the water move...
I don't know. Maybe you can try to focus on the things in life that make you smile on the inside. When I look up into the space beyond, I start to think about wonderful things that don't upset me. It's neat. I wish I was an astronomer, sometimes...
Some of the small things that help are simple--I love looking up into the night sky...it never fails to wow me. Looking at the rest of nature is good...it's peaceful for me to listen to the birds sing and look at a stream and listen to the water move...
I don't know. Maybe you can try to focus on the things in life that make you smile on the inside. When I look up into the space beyond, I start to think about wonderful things that don't upset me. It's neat. I wish I was an astronomer, sometimes...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I find living in the moment very difficult, I constantly have to keep checking myself as i plan out my new life for the future with all the options i have open to me without the damn booze! The problem, for me, is then i start thinking i want all those things now and that, i know for me, is dangerous territory so i just tell myself to shut the **** up and do something...go for coffee...go on internet...anything and then i am back in the day.
It is very difficult though and i can see it getting harder, the longer i am sober, not easier to be vigilant which is why i reckon i will hit AA this year!
It is very difficult though and i can see it getting harder, the longer i am sober, not easier to be vigilant which is why i reckon i will hit AA this year!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
For me it takes concentration and work, I need to constantly be aware of my surroundings and what is going on iside me. Even when I am doing something like cooking, I can concentrate on the cooking at concentrate on my surroundings at the same time with some practise. Once you stop concentrating or paying attention it is lost and I start ruminating over the past or something.
The book that taught me how to do it is called "Wherever you go there you are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
The book that taught me how to do it is called "Wherever you go there you are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
For me, it’s an ongoing process. I used to obsessively re-live the pain of past experiences and live in fear of future events that never happen.
Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and “The Power of Now” are books that I read and use for meditation. It helps to remember that anything other than this moment is not reality. They are just thoughts generated by the mind that result in negative emotional responses.
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous also bring the focus back to the present moment. They helped me identify the root causes of my negative mental state (it used to be like a very noisy black cloud). I have forgiven myself and others for things that happened in the past. I am also able to deal with fear of the future by having faith that everything will be okay.
I believe that it is impossible for me to ever reach that ideal state of always living in the moment. I accept that there will be times when I will be reminded of my past mistakes and feel guilty. And I accept that there are things in the future that will scare me. In addition, I have many great memories & exciting future possibilities that I like to think & talk about.
After a year of AA and spiritual growth, I can honestly say that I am at peace most of the time. It's an incredible feeling! We can change the way we think but it takes quite a bit of work and ongoing practice.
Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and “The Power of Now” are books that I read and use for meditation. It helps to remember that anything other than this moment is not reality. They are just thoughts generated by the mind that result in negative emotional responses.
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous also bring the focus back to the present moment. They helped me identify the root causes of my negative mental state (it used to be like a very noisy black cloud). I have forgiven myself and others for things that happened in the past. I am also able to deal with fear of the future by having faith that everything will be okay.
I believe that it is impossible for me to ever reach that ideal state of always living in the moment. I accept that there will be times when I will be reminded of my past mistakes and feel guilty. And I accept that there are things in the future that will scare me. In addition, I have many great memories & exciting future possibilities that I like to think & talk about.
After a year of AA and spiritual growth, I can honestly say that I am at peace most of the time. It's an incredible feeling! We can change the way we think but it takes quite a bit of work and ongoing practice.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
I love what the Zen Master Nhat Hanh says:
“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”
It's a blueprint for life, not just for not drinking
How you *do* that, I'm not always so good at - like Mark Twain, I've lived through some terrible things in my life - and some of them actually happened
D
“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”
It's a blueprint for life, not just for not drinking
How you *do* that, I'm not always so good at - like Mark Twain, I've lived through some terrible things in my life - and some of them actually happened
D
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
OOOh Boy..Living in the moment.
I have had to work very hard at doing that.
And some days it is just impossible it seems.
I thihk for me..Like you said..Gratitude plays a very important role in helping stay in the moment.
Patience too.
I have come on here recently in a frenzy about finances..jobs..bills..just all this stuff that stresses me out and really makes me wonder why I am even trying to stay clean if this is how its goign to be.
Well I got quite a bit a great advice on all that staying in the moment stuff.
Be grateful for whats good in life right now and stop worrying about whats wrong.
Time waits nor does it hurry for noone.
So serenity prayer is good also.
Some things we just cant do anything about..So kinda cross that bridge when you come to it..Worrying about it now will do nothing except make you crazy.
I like to just sit somewhere nice and quiet. And listen to music or just do something calm. And I have to just clear my head and focus on what is going on thats good in life right now. EVen if it is only one thing. I have to stay positive.
Listen to the sounds around you. Think how nice it is to be home froma long days work and think how good it feels to have put in a hard days work and be gratful.
I am rambling now. Its hard for me to put into words.
But it isnt easy to do...But once you get the idea...It comes easier.
I have had to work very hard at doing that.
And some days it is just impossible it seems.
I thihk for me..Like you said..Gratitude plays a very important role in helping stay in the moment.
Patience too.
I have come on here recently in a frenzy about finances..jobs..bills..just all this stuff that stresses me out and really makes me wonder why I am even trying to stay clean if this is how its goign to be.
Well I got quite a bit a great advice on all that staying in the moment stuff.
Be grateful for whats good in life right now and stop worrying about whats wrong.
Time waits nor does it hurry for noone.
So serenity prayer is good also.
Some things we just cant do anything about..So kinda cross that bridge when you come to it..Worrying about it now will do nothing except make you crazy.
I like to just sit somewhere nice and quiet. And listen to music or just do something calm. And I have to just clear my head and focus on what is going on thats good in life right now. EVen if it is only one thing. I have to stay positive.
Listen to the sounds around you. Think how nice it is to be home froma long days work and think how good it feels to have put in a hard days work and be gratful.
I am rambling now. Its hard for me to put into words.
But it isnt easy to do...But once you get the idea...It comes easier.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
I find the serenity prayer to be very powerful. It helps me when I get itchy and scratchy about my life. And it helps me when I am feeling like drinking and soothing myself with alcohol instead of working through my feelings. Sometimes, I say it out loud over and over until I feel a calm come over me.
Prayer in general helps me. But the serenity prayer is always readily available and often feels like just the right words.
Prayer in general helps me. But the serenity prayer is always readily available and often feels like just the right words.
On the road of happy destiny
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
One thing I've been doing is just stepping back and listening. Listening to my car engine or the keys on the keyboard or voices at work... whatever. Really focusing on what I hear seems to center me a little.
I also am a fan of the serenity prayer.
I also am a fan of the serenity prayer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Wow - Thanx for all of those great posts.
So much of my life has been about looking for that next big thing, or that next perfect buzz, or how is so and so gonna feel about this or that?... Now that I am trying to be successful in my recovery... how is my recovery gonna go? how am I going to never pick up? how do I live one day at a time? Who the f*ck am I now?
I had an epiphany of sorts this AM. After the holidays, Friday night, the old excitement of the weekend. I knew that I had to find a way to live right now and appreciate whatever it is that I am doing, wherever I happen to be, is what is really important. If not, I am gonna go freakin' insane... But the insanity of drinking and pills as the end reward of my moments throughout the day and week certainly has no point. Why do I continue to think myself in that way?
That made me want to ask the question I did.
I bought Tolle's book, will read some tonight. I should pick up my guitar, go look at the stars, stay where my hands are, know my insides and surroundings and be grateful for the day of work I've accomplished.
Oh, and say the Serenity Prayer. Over and over (I really do that)
Really, I appreciated reading each and every response - twice! These bad days suck... You guys help!
Mark
So much of my life has been about looking for that next big thing, or that next perfect buzz, or how is so and so gonna feel about this or that?... Now that I am trying to be successful in my recovery... how is my recovery gonna go? how am I going to never pick up? how do I live one day at a time? Who the f*ck am I now?
I had an epiphany of sorts this AM. After the holidays, Friday night, the old excitement of the weekend. I knew that I had to find a way to live right now and appreciate whatever it is that I am doing, wherever I happen to be, is what is really important. If not, I am gonna go freakin' insane... But the insanity of drinking and pills as the end reward of my moments throughout the day and week certainly has no point. Why do I continue to think myself in that way?
That made me want to ask the question I did.
I bought Tolle's book, will read some tonight. I should pick up my guitar, go look at the stars, stay where my hands are, know my insides and surroundings and be grateful for the day of work I've accomplished.
Oh, and say the Serenity Prayer. Over and over (I really do that)
Really, I appreciated reading each and every response - twice! These bad days suck... You guys help!
Mark
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I will sit here and turn the music on and be so completely calm and satisfied and just peaceful. Even if some of the music is hardcore..Its somehting that makes me forget about the craziness of the outside world. I can relax. And let me tell ya..I will sing all night long. I dont care who hears me..LOL.
I am doin exactly that now.
I love music.
I am doin exactly that now.
I love music.
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