LaDita

Forwarning! Fasten your seat belts because I'm about to really lay it down.

I have been tossing and turning all night about what I'm going to do tonight for the special occasion. Nothing sounds good. Going out doesn't sound good. A good friend of mine is leaving out of the country tomorrow and I want to say good bye to him in person, but it's at my old bar/hang-out.
I've been trying to talk myself into going and just not drinking but I think I would last maybe a whole five minutes before either running out in a panic or having a drink.
In fact, I'd rather not leave the house at all, I live in a very urban area and it's going to be a mad-house out there.
But staying at home alone and feeling sorry for myself seems just as awful.
And I can't bring myself to hanging out at an A.A. function. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet and I'm still on the fence about A.A.
There's really nowhere else I can go without some element of alcohol or craziness or drama involved. I almost wish I had come down with a really bad cold or something so I have an excuse to stay home, or so it will sound legitimate when my friends ask "So what did you do for New Year's?"

I never thought I'd say this because New Year's has always been my favorite holiday, but I can't wait for the next 24 hours to be over with. After that, I'll be fine.

bstt03

Hi LaDita. This friend of yours who is leaving - if he/she is that good of a friend, would they not understand what you are going through? Can you meet up with this friend before the bar gathering or arrange something else? As far as staying home, just do it if you feel that is what you need to do. Why does it have to be about feeling sorry for yourself? You should not feel sorry for yourself because you are doing something that is good for you and in the long run for the best by being sober. I have really learned that by staying home more often, I am really not missing out on much. I feel very complete. Do you have any hobbies, reading etc? And hey, if you feel like you have to lie and say you do not feel well, so be it. If thats what it takes! Its one holiday out of many. Try not to sweat it and make the best of it if you can!

least

You can still stay home, and you don't need to make excuses for it - just that you want to stay home this new year's eve. As to seeing your friend before they leave the country, can you meet them somewhere other than the bar?

Just keep reminding yourself of your goal of sobriety, and don't pick up that first drink!

Anna

I'm staying at home, warm and cozy, watching a good movie.

I had to learn to enjoy being alone, being with myself, in early recovery. It's a blessing to me to have time to myself.

James13

I have been going to some meetings, but, like you I am on the fence about about certain aspects of AA. The whole spirituality thing is good, though, imo. I'll be there tonight as my gf is chairing a meeting.

BUT, many of the people in AA I can relate to, and they are a wide variety of people. Today I don't feel I have to make friends happy because I can't go to their drunken/high parties and such.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems like you kind of want a low key night at home? That's what we are doing.

I used to go out every new years, but alot of those times were really just because others were.

I hope you do what you want to do for yourself on NY's eve. But yes, protect you sobriety. Much love

Pelican

Just read your own signature line.
Make a right action for YOUR future.

Good advice above about meeting your friend prior to the bar scene. Meet for a coffee at a book store and say your good-byes. Stay at the coffee shop and you might find someone interesting to chat with.

Put a request out here on SR for a brilliant come-back when your friends ask what you did NYE.

In the meantime, take a deep breath or two.
Deep breath in and think "Peace In"
Long exhale out and think "Fear Out"

coffeenut

NYE is just another night. Take it a moment at a time.

We'll be here for you!

Toomutch

Not much to add as there is alot of good advice above.

I am looking forward to staying home for many reasons - For 1 I would feel uncomfortable going out to a party or a bar at this point, and I need to accept that.
So home sweet home is my best option.

I hope you will be feeling better as the day goes on. Keep posting.

TryingSoHard

Yep - everyone has already said what I was going to say!

Definitely no reason to sit around feeling sorry for yourself just because you're at home. Stay home, but without the self-imposed guilt trip! Find a good movie to watch, watch the cheesey NYE shows that will be on TV, play a fun video game if you have a console - go rent a game if you need to. Unplug (or turn off) your phone if you're worried about people hassling you or tempting you with bad decision offers.

Worry NOT about what others will think tomorrow about what you do tonight. Worry about what YOU will think tomorrow about what you did tonight.

I've spent countless NYE nights home in front of the tv, even BEFORE alcohol was a problem for me! It's really not all that uncommon. No sweat, sister.

*HUGS*

LaDita

You guys are RAD!

Staying home tonight does sound alot better now. My friend is not leaving forever, and he already knows a little bit of what's going on with me so he'll understand. It will great to avoid all the drunk people and the drunk driver's, the inevitable hang-over and shame, and best of all, start the new year off right.

Thank you all!!!

TryingSoHard

I like the sound of that post! Keep up that good attitude!

doorknob

Most of my New Year's have been like any other day. Drink a few beers in the evening, smoke pot, eat, watch TV, and usually fall asleep well before midnight. Sometimes I'd awaken from the fireworks and stuff at midnight. There have been a couple years where I've tied one on and been really hungover New Year's Day, and a couple spent at a small bar or tavern. Actually, I'd really love to go out tonight and do karaoke, but it's a long drive, the weather and driving conditions have been bad, and people drinking and driving make it even more dangerous. But, I don't think being around alcohol would bother me too much. The town I live in has a bowling alley for entertainment, and that's it. I may give a call to a little bar in the town down the road from us, as they have recently aquired a karaoke machine, and see what they have planned. That would only be 11 miles vs. 25. Same highway though... Then again, it wouldn't bother me much to just stay home.

TryingSoHard

My cable company offers Karaoke on Demand! Talk about cheap (free!), at-home entertainment! LOL

doorknob

That's really cool, TSH. I use a website called Singsnap.

SingSnap | Farmtown_Flowamatic's Recordings

bstt03

Doorknob - just got guitar hero world tour for nintendo wii - talk about fun. I am the designated singer (but not a good one!). Its like a whole karaoke band! We rock the house - ha ha.

SelfSeeking

I even have several good (sober) options with friends this evening, but you know... the roads are bad bc it just snowed, and I have movies and popcorn and stuff at home. Home's where I'll be I don't need to force myself out onto icy streets... of course when I was drinking I would have "had" to. I like having more options than I used to. Being sober is so liberating.

Rusty Zipper

no worries LaDi

hit the Cafe', and play some of Jerz's ABC games, i herd there were a few!

it'll be 2009 before ya know it...