blessed4x

I've thought a lot the past week about life and death. My dad, who wasn't supposed to live through the night Christmas Eve is still hanging in there, and I was blessed to spend Saturday with 22 of my immediate family members, surrounding him with love. My AH chose to stay home alone and drink. The way I see it he is also dying, a sad and lonely death. He hasn't spoken to me since, hasn't asked about his father-in-law. His mom told me "He has a hard time dealing with death". My response was, "No, he has a hard time dealing with life."

It struck me, as I was there with all of those people around, the stark contrast of how things are for me now, and how they can be moving forward. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we even got a little irritated with each other at times. We felt. We were not numb. So I have determined that the last (and best) gift my dad has given me is the ability to choose to live. To take the path that leads to joy and connectedness with those around me. Sadly, I'll be leaving 2 of the most influential men in my life behind.

Thanks for letting me share.

Barbara52

{hugs}

You are going thru a rough patch right now. I remember watching my father's death. But you are so lucky to ahve your family around you. And to have an empowering epihany too.

Pajarito

I think this is a wonderful way to take the good from something sad. I'm glad you got to enjoy your family over the holiday. It was something I did too and had a few much smaller realizations about living that I hope I'll remember when times are hard.

You have a lot to deal with- I hope you are taking care of yourself. ((()))

cyclelady

(((Blessed))) Our situations seem to take so much of our energy that we dont realize when we need to tend to ourselves. I wish you much strength and courage in the coming times. I hope your HP guides you down the path that is RIGHT for YOU and your kids. Just remember that you always have friends/people to talk to here and you are never alone.
:ghug3
Take care.

GiveLove

You will be carrying the lessons they taught you every step of the way - they are simply gifts in oddly-shaped packages, and some day you'll even be grateful for the ones that came by your AH.

Hugs, (((blessed))). I am so glad you have this time with your dad and family to really celebrate his passing on to whatever comes next.

FormerDoormat

Geneen Roth, author of "When Food is Love" asks, "Do I want to live while I'm alive and embrace what sustains me or do I want to die while I'm alive and embrace what destroys me?"

Beautiful post, Blessed.