LaDita

I had a very strong urge to drink tonight and while I'm really glad I didn't go through with it, I was wondering when the cravings start to go away for people.

Thanks in advance. I hope everyone had a nice holiday.

LD

Horselover

Hi LaDita. Glad you didn't go through with the urges, but that's just it. There urges and they pass. With time they may lessens, but you'll still have your days. I've got 7 months or so and still get urges and I have heard people with years sobriety still get urges, but less often and when they come, they have the weapons/tools to deal with them. Experience gives us more time, indeed, but also wisdom to have a plan in action for when the cravings hit. Again, glad you made it through them.

TryingSoHard

Ditto what Horselover said - good for you for fighting that urge and letting the craving(s) pass!

I'm almost 3 months sober and I still get urges. Not consistently, and not every day, but I get them. Unfortunately, most often they are out of the blue and VERY strong... but they pass. It might FEEL like an eternity, but in reality I'd say the worst of it lasts about 5 minutes. In the grand scheme of things, that's nothing!

Wish I could tell you that I was 3 months in and craving-free, but at least I can tell you that I'm (just about) 3 months in and still sober. Even if it's 5 minutes at a time.

*hugs*

espresso

Glad you stayed sober. Urges and cravings vary but they do pass. Are you going to AA? It would give you support and help.

NewDayNow

Ditto on what tsh said.

It does come and go. Stepping past the powerful mountainous ones can be a real rush. Glad they are getting fewer and farther between

Ed

Ananda

It seems for me that when I face a new challange I will usually get a flash of a drinking thought....not exactly an urge...easily put away.

But if it is a real toughy, like christams this year was....then I can get the real mental obbsession going...that too will pass but sometimes takes a little longer and a lot more talking it out and refocusing to what is really going on with me.

I've been sober 17 mos, and i would say that those flash thoughts of drinking are no longer a common occurance....slowed way down after about 4-6 mos. the intensity droped to a level of just a odd thought that I aknowledge and it's gone.

The real obsessive thinking has only happened about 5 times, and I was fortunate that none of them occurred out of the blue...I could see myself stuggling prior to the obsession. I have more tools to deal with it now, but I think the biggest thing is the tool of honesty..being willing to not stay stuck on my ego and to actually admit that the obsession is happening to my support system.

For me that is putting sobriety first....and it can be hard to do at times.

Anna

For me, the cravings would come, seemingly out-of-the-blue. I would be walking down the street doing some shopping and suddenly there would be a flash of me drinking. I found that the more I became grounded in myself and knew myself, the cravings became much less disturbing.

miss communicat

each time I got past a craving without acting on it, it strengthened my sobriety. Not giving in will soon become your new habitual response, and you, too will get stronger!

flutter

Good for you for not drinking! Day 9 here.. I haven't had a craving yet, but I think that's due to the extreme nature of my REALLY having to quit (quit now, get help.. or lose EVERYTHING). I want to be sober more than I want anything else. That helps me! I think having someone to call, thru AA or another program is a good thing. Each time I drank and messed my sobriety up I wished I had that, another voice besides my alcoholic voice to say HEY STOP THAT! DONT DO IT! would have been the extra oomph I needed maybe? Who knows. Good for you tho yay!

NewDayNow

AND--------

Thank you for asking this question LaDita. For me a timely one.

gravity

The AA Big Book talks about the requirement for a "psychic change" to get rid of the obsession to drink. For me this means, in part, to get to where I know in my heart that drinking will destroy my life and that I can have a very fulfilling life without alcohol. I have to believe this at the deepest level.

I can’t say that there was a specific day when it happened but I did come to accept that alcohol has no place in my life and that I had to get on with living. On the very rare occasion, I do get jealous when I see others laughing and drinking but that thought is immediately followed by the thought “But I can’t, that’s my old life.” By the way, I have not had a thought like this in over a month.

I believe it comes down to patience and hard work to experience that “psychic change.” I’m not saying that AA is the only way to get there (it worked for me) but I really can’t see willpower alone working (I can’t think myself better).

You will find your path. Maybe you’re on it right now!

LaDita

Thanks Gravity, I really needed to hear that. I always thought that a Psychic Change would just occur on it's on after a period of abstinence from alcohol. I've been abstinent before and felt great, but I wouldn't be here today had that great feeling not left.

I think one of things that has made me so resistant to staying sober *is* changing. Honestly, I don't want to lose my playgrounds and playmates. I don't want to think who and what I had going on in my life are bad and irrelevant.
In fact, I wish so much I could still go to bars and places and where there's alcohol and hang out with my friends and not drink and still have fun. I know people who have done that and pulled it off for a very long time. People are lonely and do what they need to do to stave off the lonliness.

Just to check in, I didn't drink today but never remember having such a strong craving as I did today. Even as strange as it is, exactly one year ago today I was in a blackout and stranded in bad part of town. Even with those memories, it still don't make me not want to drink any less. Crazy, isn't it?

Mark75

I know exactly how you feel. I heard someone at a meeting who said exactly what I needed to hear. He said that just like we can't go back and fix all the stupid things we may have done, neither can we go back and f-up the good things, the things we did right.

Nothing going on in your life is irrelevant... you don't need to make them so to continue with your recovery. I have been struggling sooo much with that. Some things I do differently now, others things I don't do. If I can't make sense of what I had going on in my life, I quit trying to do so at that moment. If I listen or pay attention, I may see or hear something that may clarify what was yet unresolved. Many things remain as such, but I stay hopeful.

But be patient. Easy does it. First things first.... Stay Sober.

BTW 3.5 mos... still with urges, not so overwhelming, less often, not as long lasting, but still there. I can handle it.

Mark

flutter

It's not crazy, it's an addiction. Most of us can think of dozens of moments we thought 'should' be life changing and cause the extreme desire for long term sobriety. If it were that easy, we wouldn't be here

espresso

Gravity's right in talking about a psychic change and more importantly finding a path to sobriety that's right to you. My experience is AA but I also know AA is not for everyone. However, I have to say re: what you say above:
"If you sit long enough in a barber's shop, you're gonna end up with a hair cut"
There are lots of things to do besides sitting in bars and pubs; how about some voluntary work, joining social or community clubs; support groups...have a look through your local phone book if you're feeling a bit isolated. I know that in my early days, just sitting with me and my head was not a good idea. Take Care.

TryingSoHard

Gosh dang it, I am having the world's biggest urge right now. It's seriously driving me crazy. I'm at work, and work is right across the street from the liquor store that I used to go to most often. It's all I can think about.

I'm back to glorifying it in my mind, not remembering why I needed to quit, not thinking that I really needed to quit. Thinking that I can go back to drinking without losing control. What I think has changed, exactly, I don't know!

I'm really kinda freaking out right now.

flutter

Hang in there trying. My new counselor is across the street from the "new" liquor store I was using (cuz they didn't know me yet), and used for my last big drunkfest. Let it serve as a good reminder of headaches, guilt, dehydration, shame, anxiety, sleeplessness, poor nutrition, depression, nausea, .........

LaDita

I had an epiphany last night where during my extreme craving I told myself, the only thing that will come from giving in is another day of shame, remorse, a hang-over and another Day One and a big step back. If I didn't give in, nothing would happen, but 'nothing' is alot better than something I'd regret!

gravity

I have come to accept that my past is exactly that – the past. My old life was not all bad or irrelevant but it’s gone. We do change. I occasionally miss going to bars, checking out bands, and laughing with my drinking buddies but the bottom line is that drinking was destroying my life. I have new playgrounds and playmates – I still go to concerts, football games, hockey games, movies, out for dinner. I spend more time doing things with my kids (went sliding yesterday). I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. It’s a much better life.

I wouldn’t compare myself to others. This is YOUR life.

F**king insane. The blackouts and danger I put myself in but still thinking that I could control alcohol. There are days when I am just happy to be alive.

To me, this isn’t “nothing”. The moment I fully accepted that drinking will only result in a return back to my personal hell was the true starting point. And we do learn and grow each and every day. Getting through a tough day always builds strength.

least

I have six months sober today, and have been really bothered by a lot of urges to drink lately. Maybe the stress of the holidays, I don't know. My cravings to drink aren't near as bad as they were in the beginning, but they're always lurking just round the corner so I have to be on guard.

Cravings don't last forever, so keep yourself busy when a craving hits. Remind yourself why you got sober in the first place and that you don't want to put yourself back in that Bad Place.