Blackrose56

Life is crazy. And I don't get back here as often as I should. Between work and medical problems...life goes fast. But I needed to vent. A couple weeks ago my daughter decided to go see her father. She had not seen him in 6 years. She wrote to him about 4 years ago and he responded that he was doing well, was getting married, was teaching Sunday School and was disappointed that HIS daughter would have a child without being married. Well, a year later, she is back out here where he lives. And she wrote him a couple letters and he never responded. However, once a year he sends my parents an old tax bill and asks me to handle this cause it's MY problem. Forgot to mention that shortly after she moved back she asked me to take her to his place. As we went around the corner his back porch was littered with beer cans and she we left. Two weeks ago, however, she decided to go see him with her boyfriend and her daughter. He answered the door and said he was the man she was looking for. And she said.."do you know who I am." He said no and she said she was his daughter. He immediately replied.."No you aren't. I have NEVER been married." She then informed him he also had a son. And he said again.."No, I have never been married." She started to cry and he told her he'd have to ask his doctor cause he'd been in an accident. Now this man has one DRAMA after another. He has ALWAYS been the victim. Blamed me for leaving and he didn't know why. Even though because of him we were on the news when he kidnapped me and put a gun to my head and a SWAT team had to rescue me in 1997. I have tried not to trash this man in front of my daughter because I know how close they once were. And this hurts me to see her hurt. First, I wanted to send him copies of the birth certificates. And our divorce papers. But then I thought...why drag this out. For some reason he is doing this to her. However, it would hurt less if he had just said to her...you have wanted nothing to do with me the 3 years you've been back...why now? I thought it wouldn't bother me...but it does. How could somebody be so heartless, so cruel to do that? Or has he lost his mind? He's now 66 and probably not in the best of shape. Only thing that bothers my daughter is that if he TRULY had amnesia wouldn't he asks questions? Wouldn't he be curious about why she was claiming this or to find out if he did have a family? And what about things he has from his past life. I just don't believe him. But it still hurts that he could do this to her.

Freedom1990

First of all, I am sorry for your pain and your daughter's pain.

All it ever did was drive me crazy when I tried to figure out why the EXAH did what he did.

I learned to accept that it was what it was, and I went on with my life without him.

We know that life is not without disappointments and pain. I don't know if your daughter went with some sort of expectations of what she wanted from her father, but it doesn't sound like there will ever be any sort of relationship.

I have learned that although my 20 year old often makes decisions that end up with her being hurt, I allow her to make those choices, and she also knows I am there for her when she does hurt.