arthur

Hey all,
I have a question to pose and could use some advice. One of my close friends is now 6 days sober i think its awsome because being 23 months i know how hard those first few days are never mind the weeks. This is my question. He told me he finally told his wife and she supports him and is going to help him through this. My wife is not in on this with me.this is a battle i have been fighting on my own. i am jealous that he has someone with him. all i get at home is you were a lousy drunk and you do this yourself. so many people have told her to go to alonon but she wont. i know i did this to myself no one ever forced me to drink i did this but i could shorely use a tap on the back once in a while.how do i get her to go to alonon or any kind of meeting? any ideas? thank you.

Anna

Hi Arthur,

This is one of the reasons that I come to SR every day.

People here understand and they know how hard recovery is.

You`re doing great!

NewDayNow

Hi Arthur,

Same here. My wife is a non-drinker and she expects me to stay sober. That's it. Seems to be working. The only support I expect from those around me is that they do not drink. I've had to change my circle of friends.

I have managed to pick up a few friends in recovery and I have SR when I can get on line.

Six days sober is awesome. Twenty three months is very awesome.

Merry Christmas,

Ed

Rusty Zipper

arty you dont!

you may suggest it, and thats where it ends...

what you can do is keep doing the right thing, and your actions might change the outcome...

hope you have a somewhat Happy Holiday...

good wishes

Will47

You mentioned feeling "sad". While I see why you'd like your wife to be more supportive, look at what you've done on your own: 23 months! You have much to be proud about, even more so having the fortitude to walk your own path. I suppose I can't answer the real question about your wife, but if you need support, you can find it here. Take care. And let me tell you, 23 months sounds like a Pillar of Accomplishment from the molehill I'm standing on (5 days). Keep fighting the good fight.

--Will

desertdonna

It's just awesome that you have 23 months sober, Arthur.

I'm sorry that you don't feel that your wife is very supportive of you. There's not much that can be done, other than being totally honest with her.

It's good that you support your friend, too.

Big pats on the back. I hope it all comes back to you.



Merry Christmas!

Donna

IO Storm

Congrats on 23 months Arthur!

That is fantastic..in and of itself. It is true, it would be nice if she would do a

turnabout and support you right now...but you can't change her.

Keep doing what you are doing to stay sober and keep your serenity.

And, stay here.

And Merry Christmas.

gravity

My wife does give me the occasional pat on the back but what I have to understand is that she is not an alcoholic (thank God) and she really does not really understand the challenges I have faced and the sense of accomplishment I feel. In her eyes, this is not so much of an accomplishment; it is her right, what she expected when she married me - a sober husband who is always there for her and the kids. I believe that she is correct to feel this way.

I have been an AA member for about a year and I talk to her regularly about the program, the steps, and some of the challenges I have faced. Often, it’s a one-way conversation but I do think that she is happy and it’s important to let her know that all is going well.

Awesome job on 23 months sober! I'm sorry that your wife isn't more supportive of your efforts. Sometimes we have to accept others just the way they are.