insight into the minds of addicts
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 64
insight into the minds of addicts
This is from the website of the clinic treating my sister (not sure if I'm allowed to give the name or URL?)
Anyway, it all pretty much sums up my sister...
To gain insight, consider carefully this commonly accepted list of personality traits found in the addicted person. These are characteristics that occur in normal people, but in the addict are exaggerated and uncontrolled. These things render addicts incapable of being at peace.
Low Frustration and Tolerance seems to be the most consistent trait. This is the inability to endure, for any length of time, any uncomfortable circumstances or feeling. The addict is impatient.
Anxiety that state which seems to exist in all people, exists in an exaggerated way in addicted persons. They are subject to nameless dreads and fears. This anxiety drives alcoholics and addicts to "fight or flight". Sometimes this is called free-floating anxiety.
Grandiosity is worn as a protective armour to hide feelings of low self-esteem. In reality, although addicts nourish an inflated image of themselves, their deep conviction is one of self-worthlessness.
Perfectionism sets impossible goals with inevitable failures and resultant guilt. The alcoholic/addict is an idealist. This idealism may be one of the reasons for success after recovery. They can be exceptionally fine workers once the illness has been arrested and after the perfectionism has been reduced to reasonable proportions.
Justification Addicts are masters at this. Justification is the science of arranging to do what we want to do, then making it appear reasonable.
Isolation and deep insecurity deprive the addict of the real generosity needed to make close and enduring friendships. They become loners.
Sensitivity exaggerates all the unpleasant interpersonal relationships experienced by the addicted person. This inevitably produces extreme resentment.
Impulsiveness "I want what I want when I want it." This is probably related to a low frustration tolerance. In some ways the addict takes pride in this impulsiveness, as though it were a valuable asset.
The alcoholic/addict can't seem to enjoy a job or task and long before completion is already moving on to something else.
Defiance is a common response to society as a whole, whether the addict is under the influence or not. This is associated with a feeling that one does not fit, exactly, into society.
Dependence on other persons exists in an exaggerated form in most alcoholics/addicts.
Anyway, it all pretty much sums up my sister...
To gain insight, consider carefully this commonly accepted list of personality traits found in the addicted person. These are characteristics that occur in normal people, but in the addict are exaggerated and uncontrolled. These things render addicts incapable of being at peace.
Low Frustration and Tolerance seems to be the most consistent trait. This is the inability to endure, for any length of time, any uncomfortable circumstances or feeling. The addict is impatient.
Anxiety that state which seems to exist in all people, exists in an exaggerated way in addicted persons. They are subject to nameless dreads and fears. This anxiety drives alcoholics and addicts to "fight or flight". Sometimes this is called free-floating anxiety.
Grandiosity is worn as a protective armour to hide feelings of low self-esteem. In reality, although addicts nourish an inflated image of themselves, their deep conviction is one of self-worthlessness.
Perfectionism sets impossible goals with inevitable failures and resultant guilt. The alcoholic/addict is an idealist. This idealism may be one of the reasons for success after recovery. They can be exceptionally fine workers once the illness has been arrested and after the perfectionism has been reduced to reasonable proportions.
Justification Addicts are masters at this. Justification is the science of arranging to do what we want to do, then making it appear reasonable.
Isolation and deep insecurity deprive the addict of the real generosity needed to make close and enduring friendships. They become loners.
Sensitivity exaggerates all the unpleasant interpersonal relationships experienced by the addicted person. This inevitably produces extreme resentment.
Impulsiveness "I want what I want when I want it." This is probably related to a low frustration tolerance. In some ways the addict takes pride in this impulsiveness, as though it were a valuable asset.
The alcoholic/addict can't seem to enjoy a job or task and long before completion is already moving on to something else.
Defiance is a common response to society as a whole, whether the addict is under the influence or not. This is associated with a feeling that one does not fit, exactly, into society.
Dependence on other persons exists in an exaggerated form in most alcoholics/addicts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
These traits describe my daughter to a "T", well before drugs entered the picture. The extremely low threshold for frustration and disappointment and the inability to just sit with it, seems to be the foundation.
That mood altering substances are so readily available creates an out that previously did not exist to the extent it does, now. An immature mind can damn the consequences and go for the feel good moment in time.
That mood altering substances are so readily available creates an out that previously did not exist to the extent it does, now. An immature mind can damn the consequences and go for the feel good moment in time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
Thank you for the post, I read something similar in an artical - It describes my abf to a T as well.
It is so difficult to not fall into the co-dependent state (when dealing with the above).
This is why OUR self esteem will likely get compromised - if we don't recognize what we are dealing with- because these traits cause THEM to make decisions that impact OUR lives.
In normal HEALTHY relationships- people make decisions and plans that are benificial to all involved,
In a relationship with an addict, they put themselves FIRST- in an UNHEALTHY way- described in ALL OF THE ABOVE>
It dosen't matter, if they think they are entitled- to everyone catering to their every whim,
Or to not give others common courtsey - when they are out justifiny their partying- by not calling or being involved with loved ones who were counting on them,
Or to make others in their life feel 'guilty' because when our tolerance drops in dealing with them- their fragile egos feel as though we should be supportive and loving- they can't take criticizm at all.
Or the perfectonisim that they are unable to obtain, causes them to wallow in a shell of unworthiness- usally due to an alcoholic/addict parent that caused them to feel worthless- so they always have a need to show how 'perfect' they are- and when it fails (because no one is perfect) they drown their very hurt souls in whatever their addiction is.......
Granted - these are some generalities, however, studies show that 85% of addicts behave in this manner because of the above.....
It hurts - (even with the best education)to be involved with people like this.
It then becomes our responsiblity to gain some enlightenment on the situation- and try as best we can to cope and or remove ourselves from the toxic merry-go-round that we are in because of such.
It is our responsiblity to finally come to terms with the FACT that we can't fix anyone, and that we can only get our own personal happiness from ourselves.
It is VERY DIFFICULT to love an addict, because healthy people want our loved ones to 'show up' in the relationship. An addict can never 'show up'. Physcially, mentally, finacially, - it really hurts to be alone when you are with someone.
Based on all of the above, that truth, is where we should be taking OUR decisions from. It is about where we want OUR lives to go- and we shouldn't ever put someone in our drivers seat. It's our journey in life- and letting an addict drive our car is a bad bad idea. We will likely go right off the cliff.
Let's all try to remember what we are dealing with- and take the wheel.
Thank you for your post, and I hope everyone has a peacful holiday.
Love,
Cessy
It is so difficult to not fall into the co-dependent state (when dealing with the above).
This is why OUR self esteem will likely get compromised - if we don't recognize what we are dealing with- because these traits cause THEM to make decisions that impact OUR lives.
In normal HEALTHY relationships- people make decisions and plans that are benificial to all involved,
In a relationship with an addict, they put themselves FIRST- in an UNHEALTHY way- described in ALL OF THE ABOVE>
It dosen't matter, if they think they are entitled- to everyone catering to their every whim,
Or to not give others common courtsey - when they are out justifiny their partying- by not calling or being involved with loved ones who were counting on them,
Or to make others in their life feel 'guilty' because when our tolerance drops in dealing with them- their fragile egos feel as though we should be supportive and loving- they can't take criticizm at all.
Or the perfectonisim that they are unable to obtain, causes them to wallow in a shell of unworthiness- usally due to an alcoholic/addict parent that caused them to feel worthless- so they always have a need to show how 'perfect' they are- and when it fails (because no one is perfect) they drown their very hurt souls in whatever their addiction is.......
Granted - these are some generalities, however, studies show that 85% of addicts behave in this manner because of the above.....
It hurts - (even with the best education)to be involved with people like this.
It then becomes our responsiblity to gain some enlightenment on the situation- and try as best we can to cope and or remove ourselves from the toxic merry-go-round that we are in because of such.
It is our responsiblity to finally come to terms with the FACT that we can't fix anyone, and that we can only get our own personal happiness from ourselves.
It is VERY DIFFICULT to love an addict, because healthy people want our loved ones to 'show up' in the relationship. An addict can never 'show up'. Physcially, mentally, finacially, - it really hurts to be alone when you are with someone.
Based on all of the above, that truth, is where we should be taking OUR decisions from. It is about where we want OUR lives to go- and we shouldn't ever put someone in our drivers seat. It's our journey in life- and letting an addict drive our car is a bad bad idea. We will likely go right off the cliff.
Let's all try to remember what we are dealing with- and take the wheel.
Thank you for your post, and I hope everyone has a peacful holiday.
Love,
Cessy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
