No more bandages
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
No more bandages
Okay...for this moment I'm going to remember why i shouldn't feel guilty. It seems that women always want to fix everything by bandaging it up nice and neat so everyone will feel all better. BLAH!
1- breaking my windchimes! They were beautiful and they were peaceful to listen to at night.
2- Wrecking the car- He felt like he should plow down the tobacco barn in our friends yard! How embarrassing that was.
3- Phone calls from other women- Well...lets see. That still keeps me ticked off so I'll think of this often!
4- Loud music waking me and the kids at 1 am.
5- Screaming at me in front of the kids.
6- Screaming in the yard so the neighbors think we're nuts.
7- Laying in the bed until 10am hung over and smelling of rotten beer. Yuck!
8- Showing up at my grandmas funeral...drunk!
9- Calling my mother a bi***!
10- Staying out all night with who knows?
11- Flying pots and pans, plates and bowls, glasses.
As I think of them I'll add more. I have to remember the bad stuff so that I can have the strength to keep moving forward. I think that if we make ourselves remember the crap our hearts wouldn't soften so easily. Just a thought..
~h
1- breaking my windchimes! They were beautiful and they were peaceful to listen to at night.
2- Wrecking the car- He felt like he should plow down the tobacco barn in our friends yard! How embarrassing that was.
3- Phone calls from other women- Well...lets see. That still keeps me ticked off so I'll think of this often!
4- Loud music waking me and the kids at 1 am.
5- Screaming at me in front of the kids.
6- Screaming in the yard so the neighbors think we're nuts.
7- Laying in the bed until 10am hung over and smelling of rotten beer. Yuck!
8- Showing up at my grandmas funeral...drunk!
9- Calling my mother a bi***!
10- Staying out all night with who knows?
11- Flying pots and pans, plates and bowls, glasses.
As I think of them I'll add more. I have to remember the bad stuff so that I can have the strength to keep moving forward. I think that if we make ourselves remember the crap our hearts wouldn't soften so easily. Just a thought..
~h
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Good idea
I wrote War and Peace...it was a helpful tool.
I knew I was "getting better" when I no longer had to go back and reread it, and when I did it just kind of made me sick to my stomach, so it was a good tool on more then one level.
I wrote War and Peace...it was a helpful tool.
I knew I was "getting better" when I no longer had to go back and reread it, and when I did it just kind of made me sick to my stomach, so it was a good tool on more then one level.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
When I first left my AH I wrote in my journal every morning, sometimes in the middle of night when I couldn't sleep. Sometimes it was pure random thoughts, it felt good to get all those feelings "out in the open", letters that were never sent to him, my methodology on how I was "going to back at him for doing all this to me", sometimes pure evil thoughts, etc etc.
Now I realize that I allowed him to do these things, I have free will and at the time I CHOSE to allow this.
This does not happen anymore.
I also used to reread my ramblings thus "fueling" the fire and hence more writing. After awhile, my ramblings started to change, I was changing and my journal reflected those changes. My journal is much more positive now and reflects my feelings, my thoughts and my life - for the most part it's positive. Whenever I do reread them it's with a feeling of wow, look how far I've come, I'm doing really well, I'm very proud of myself. I don't obsess anymore on my AH, not my job. I've finally let go.
I hope you find this type of peace too - K.
Now I realize that I allowed him to do these things, I have free will and at the time I CHOSE to allow this.
This does not happen anymore.
I also used to reread my ramblings thus "fueling" the fire and hence more writing. After awhile, my ramblings started to change, I was changing and my journal reflected those changes. My journal is much more positive now and reflects my feelings, my thoughts and my life - for the most part it's positive. Whenever I do reread them it's with a feeling of wow, look how far I've come, I'm doing really well, I'm very proud of myself. I don't obsess anymore on my AH, not my job. I've finally let go.
I hope you find this type of peace too - K.
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