2many2count

My husband and I separated a month and a half ago. It was an ugly mess at the time. He was binge drinking and making my life a living hell. He was living life so wrecklessly that I had to make him choose. It was his family or his bottle. Well, he chose the bottlte and it wasn't any surprise. I knew that it would happen that way. I guess it made it more bearable knowing that he chose his own path. He moved in with his mother and for quite some time he didn't call or contact us. It was a little painful at first but it got easier to handle. He started calling at odd hours...like 2:00 in the morning! He would call me a few choice words and hang up. You know...my heart began to feel nothing. I stopped crying silently in the shower. I told him years ago to stop calling me names and acting like such an idiot that eventually I wouldn't love him the same way anymore. Well, it happened and when the chill hit him his attitude changed towards me. But now I know its too late. Now, he's a wreck. He cries and says that without his family he's nothing, he wants to die, etc. I care for him and don't want anything to happen to him. I believe that he's sincere in his threats. He's bipolar without meds and a heavy drinker. I told him last night that I thought that was a silly thing to say because even without me he still has his children. He hung up in my face.I know that this is another game to make me feel like crap so I'll cave but it really is bothering me today. Help me put this in perspective please.

kingston

I'm sorry to hear about your pain! For me I had to go "no contact", it was the only way to start working things out for myself. I needed peace and quiet to heal, I was so angry and hurt. Almost 24 years of pent up feelings. I couldn't deal with the chaos of an active A.

For me it has been the best thing. I'm happy, content and serene - well most days! It hasn't been easy, you can read my other posts if it will help but again for me and my peace of mind totally necessary.

What can you do for you to protect yourself?

K.

Seren

Just remember you don't have to listen to any of it! You don't deserve to be put through all of this!!! My ex AH left to be with his GF about 8.5 years ago. After he filed the divorce all the way through the final stage (judge signs off), he stopped moving forward with it, he wouldn't go to counseling, and he wouldn't finish the divorce, so I told him to finish the process or I would. Well.....the names he called me are quite similar to the ones your ex is calling you. Remember, you don't have to listen!!!!!
Take care! ((((( )))))
HG

JustMeInWI

You may want to read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. I'm only a couple chapters in, but it's already making SOOOO many things clear to me that I wasn't able (or didn't want) to see about the way my husband talked to me and treated me.

Keep reaching out for support. We're all here for you. Can you attend a local Al Anon group? It helps SO much to have real, live people there to hug you and encourage you to keep taking care of yourself and your children. Don't let go of what you know is right because of "something he *might* do".

(((((2many)))))