60 Days good and bad
JTinStLouis
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 115
60 Days good and bad
Hello All and Happy Sunday,
I will have my 60th day tomorrow. Things have been much improved over the least 60 days as one would expect. I have moved back home and once again live with my 1 year old little girl and my fiance'. I also have a 10 year old little girl that visits much more these days. These are the good things, now here is the interesting part for me. In my drinking and using days I was seldom hopeful and did not look forward to things going well, and if they did I wold typically do something self destructive to be ahead of the game and ruin a good thing before someone or something else did. This does scare me quite a bit and has me quite concerned over this milestone I am about to cross. So this feels a little bittersweet maybe more of this will help me understand that things will remain "OK" and even "Great" if I stay out of my own way.
JT
I will have my 60th day tomorrow. Things have been much improved over the least 60 days as one would expect. I have moved back home and once again live with my 1 year old little girl and my fiance'. I also have a 10 year old little girl that visits much more these days. These are the good things, now here is the interesting part for me. In my drinking and using days I was seldom hopeful and did not look forward to things going well, and if they did I wold typically do something self destructive to be ahead of the game and ruin a good thing before someone or something else did. This does scare me quite a bit and has me quite concerned over this milestone I am about to cross. So this feels a little bittersweet maybe more of this will help me understand that things will remain "OK" and even "Great" if I stay out of my own way.
JT
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Oh, I understand what you are saying.
I was self-sabotaging too. Whenever things were going well, I would get uneasy and do something to mess it up. I felt more comfortable failing than I did succeeding. It was more familiar to me. I had no idea what success was about and it scared me. I realized that this was about self-love and the fact that I had very little. I had to believe that I was worthy of a good life. And, you are too!
Congratulations on your 60 days! Take the time to pat yourself on the back.
I was self-sabotaging too. Whenever things were going well, I would get uneasy and do something to mess it up. I felt more comfortable failing than I did succeeding. It was more familiar to me. I had no idea what success was about and it scared me. I realized that this was about self-love and the fact that I had very little. I had to believe that I was worthy of a good life. And, you are too!
Congratulations on your 60 days! Take the time to pat yourself on the back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Bartlesville, OK
Posts: 59
Congrats on 60 days Bro,
You have your family back and are involved in their lives in a positive manner for the Holidays. Hopefully, just realizing this is enough to keep you straight and strong. It's tough to break these nasty habits and tendancies but we have to start sometime and there's no time like the presesnt.
Good Luck and Happy Holidays
You have your family back and are involved in their lives in a positive manner for the Holidays. Hopefully, just realizing this is enough to keep you straight and strong. It's tough to break these nasty habits and tendancies but we have to start sometime and there's no time like the presesnt.
Good Luck and Happy Holidays
JTinStLouis
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 115
thank you both for the great advice and wonderful words. Yes I am closer to my family than I have been in forever it seems, I have tons of feelings and emotions on a daily basis which is a good thing, just a new good thing. I go to meetings every morning and a group meeting one night a week, that all really helps as well. I look forward to this holiday and many more to come.
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