kermit

But I just got in a fight with my A brother, and my parents, it all started when my brother yelled at my kids, which at the time they were fighting but thats my problem k. My brother goes into how my sister and I stole my parents house from them. (They took out a reverse mortgage) Now my brother and Dad say its not MOm and Dads house how my sister and I took it away from them by helping them get a reverse mortgage. I have explained over and over again how the deed reads my parents name and we are nowher on it! Anyway now my kids they would go to my parents house after school, now I have to find somewhere for them to go, where I will get the money for daycare I do not know, I have two days to figure it out.
One day my brother is going to hurt my parents, do I wait for that to happen or do I call the someone now? and who? will they do something before he hurts them? I know that this is not my decission to make it is my parents who alow him to stay, but how could they choose him over me and my kids? I'm so tired of the pain and the thought of not seeing my parents because of him kills me.

I wish they would just take all alchol off the shelfs

cmc

Aw kermie, I'm sorry for all these troubles; especially during the holidays. I don't have any advice for you; but I'm sure you will figure things out and do what you find is best for all involved- especially what is best for you and your kids.
Sending some extra hugs and lots of support your way.

FormerDoormat

When you get over the initial anger and the hurting begins to subside, you'll be able to think more clearly and figure out the best way to handle things. I'm a bit confused about what you posted. Are you saying that since you fought with your brother, you don't feel your parents will still be willing to provide daycare for your children? Or you just don't want them in that environment?

Either way, there is a solution to every problem once you start focusing on what you can do instead of what you can't do. Hugs to you, Kermie.

NoelleR

I used to get in such a 'state' over things; I just didn't know what to do, or if there even was something that could be done.....it was such a kafuffle.....but FD is absolutely right........:

"...there is a solution to every problem once you start focusing on what you can do instead of what you can't do..."

There absolutely a solution to every problem; sometimes we just need to sit down and figure what it is that we need to do..... (o:

.....and also like FD, I'm a bit confused.....but one thing that did cross my mind (my ole 'active alcoholic/addict' mind). I'm wondering if your brother thinks you've stolen your parents house from your parents, or does he feel that you've stolen it from HIM....???? ....like, with a reverse mortgage, the payments are deferred until the owners' passing (grrrrr I hate silly euphemisms....LOL) and then the house is usually sold to pay back the loan, instead of the property's ownership being passed to him.....? ....just a thought.....(I sort of follow the Fox Mulder school of recovery----I trust no one).

Hopefully tomorrow things may look differently.....gotta keep that positive outlook, ya know. In my time, I've learned that even though things may not have worked out as I would have liked them to.....they did work out for the best, and often times even better than I could have ever imagined.....you'll see....


NoelleR

Daisy30

Maybe talk it over with your folks? But if they are still wanting to enable, there is nothing you can do

(((hugs)))

kermit

It's just that I don't want my boys there, I'm going to see if Mom can watch them at our house, we live only 3 houses up from my parents so maybe, my kids are the only thing keeping Mom going otherwise she would just give up, she has begged my Dad to get rid of his son, but he wont.
As for the house my parents took very little out, it will still be worth more than the loan and it will be split between all 4 of us, that is just the way it is, I have no say about it, my parents have a good 10yrs or so left God willing so I don't even know why this would be a issue for him. He lives there rent free, (he gives them $60 a week, but then takes it back)and maybe I too am mad because when I thought my kids and I were headed for the streets, they would rather have him then us.
Hell I have issues!

laurie6781

Of course you have issues!!!!!

You went through an alcoholic SUCK YOU DRY and now are watching your brother SUCK YOUR PARENTS DRY and your children have seen it all. Frustrating? Hell yes. Disappointing? Hell yes.

So, what can YOU do about it? Well, first talking to your Mom about watching the boys at your place is a GREAT idea. It will give her time away from Dad and son.

Now I know you have checked into Adult Protection Services before, but I would suggest that you and your sister if possible AGAIN report the problem. After a few reports APS will really get serious about it, even when the 'adults' proclaim there is no problem. Better to have it 'on file.'

As to his QUACKING about the house, well...................................you will see when you have calmed down a bit, that it is just that ALCOHOLIC QUACKING. Something to RANT about to keep those around him 'off balance' so he can continue with his love (ALCOHOL). No, he doesn't see it that way, in his warped sense of reality, he probably truly thinks 'his inheritance' has been stolen from him, oh poor baby, (said sarcastically!)

I wear a T-shirt quite a lot (have 2 of them actually) that says:

"I am enjoying my children's Inheritance."

I understand your anger and frustration and your overall concern, especially when it comes to your children. I bet your Mom would really enjoy being at your house with her grandbabies, in relative peace and quiet, without your brother around all day.

Glad to see you back and posting, but very sorry it is because of more FRUSTRATION from the alcoholic/s in your life.

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we/I do care so very much.

I hope you and the kids have a wonderful, relaxed, fun Christmas!!!

Love and hugs,

tribal1969

It's hard.