BIRTHDAY pity PARTY
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 282
BIRTHDAY pity PARTY
Not too big of a pity party but tomorrow is my 40th birthday and I am feeling pretty freaked out about it. I'm letting a number freak me out.
It feels silly but it is bothering me for some reason. I never cared before about how old I am.
Now I keep thinking that I SHOULD be somewhere else. I SHOULD have more, things SHOULD be different. But they are what they are and I wish I could believe that there is HP watching out for me and leading me somewhere but I have a really hard time with that concept too.
...Anyway.. I SHOULD be glad I'm not going to have to work on my birthday right?
It feels silly but it is bothering me for some reason. I never cared before about how old I am.
Now I keep thinking that I SHOULD be somewhere else. I SHOULD have more, things SHOULD be different. But they are what they are and I wish I could believe that there is HP watching out for me and leading me somewhere but I have a really hard time with that concept too.
...Anyway.. I SHOULD be glad I'm not going to have to work on my birthday right?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Oh hon, I can so understand how you are feeling! I turned 50 this year!
I can tell you this. At age 50 I am finally completing my college degree, and I refuse to let my age define me, and where I am at in life!
I want you to know tomorrow I will be holding you close to my heart, and in my prayers, okay?
:ghug :ghug
I can tell you this. At age 50 I am finally completing my college degree, and I refuse to let my age define me, and where I am at in life!
I want you to know tomorrow I will be holding you close to my heart, and in my prayers, okay?
:ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
I think 40 is an awkward age....like 15 is, but with a big dose of experience and some regrets! In my developmental Psych class this semester if you had said these things in class the Professor would have told you you are right where you are supposed to be developmentally. It IS a year for looking both forward in new ways if things aren't where you wish, and backward with acceptance and forgiveness.
Easy does it--and
8 HAPPY BIRTHDAY 8
Peace-
B.
Easy does it--and
8 HAPPY BIRTHDAY 8Peace-
B.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I loved my 40's - even living with an alcoholic. It was a time of great personal growth. I've got a toe into the 50's and I'm loving that, too.
I like the saying - any age is better than the alternative.
Happy Birthday, Loner1968!!!!!
I like the saying - any age is better than the alternative.
Happy Birthday, Loner1968!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Looking back (I sure as heck didn't see it back when it was happening) a small part of why I got married to now xAH was the approach of my 50th birthday. There was some part of me that felt that I couldn't be single still when I hit 50. Now I see that and think good Lord what was wrong with you woman!
Our society leads us to find age significant in many ways, many subtle.
Our society leads us to find age significant in many ways, many subtle.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,017
40's are great, I finally 'grew up' when I hit 40. And by that I mean I realised I had a life to live and I was going to live it!
40's are when you can do what you want to do, still be young enough to make mistakes but old enough to blame your age if it all goes pear shaped.
Life is for living, it's too short to be counting the years. (let someone else do that when you're gone!)
Hope you had a good birthday
40's are when you can do what you want to do, still be young enough to make mistakes but old enough to blame your age if it all goes pear shaped.
Life is for living, it's too short to be counting the years. (let someone else do that when you're gone!)
Hope you had a good birthday
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 149
I saw this oprah where she was turning 50 and she was excited and said so because she was excited to get to know herself EVEN MORE. and for the longest time i didnt know what the heck she meant by that, but now i do. she was more herself, more at ease- maybe in a sense, having mre serenity. i do hope you had a good birthday, im sorry i didnt read this sooner. sending you birthday wishes!!!
have you ever read any louise hay ( i think shes like 60 and wow, does she make it look good) she says no shoulds, because thats like saying were wrong and also who is to say youre not working on the things you "should" have or things you "should" be doing. you could get there. coulds not shoulds!!!
have you ever read any louise hay ( i think shes like 60 and wow, does she make it look good) she says no shoulds, because thats like saying were wrong and also who is to say youre not working on the things you "should" have or things you "should" be doing. you could get there. coulds not shoulds!!!
AKA 'grewupinabarn'
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 471
Happy Birthday loner1968. And Happy Solstice Day!
Upon your birthday every day becomes a bit longer - for the next 6 MONTHS.
Few can say that, my friend.
No no no - no 'shoulds', no 'wouldas', no 'couldas'.
There is -
A) what you want to do for yourself
B) what you need to do for yourself
And A & B are are decidedly second to
C) what your HP wants you to do.
All those 'shouldas' are other's definitions. Pick up any magazine, especially the one's in the supermarket check-out line, and they will give you all the 'shouldas' you need.
And the lottery tickets are sold right next to 'em.
Don't define yourself by the supermarket check out line.
40 means yet another decade of moving forward, new ideas. I have done more daring things in the last 10 years (at 46) than I did in my 20's.
I had a hard time with the HP thing. I am making progress - slowly moving forward.
The 2nd and 3rd steps have been a real mind-reworking for me. I have a lot of self-centered fear that is very resistant to acknowledging anything more important than itself.
I saw the truth of the 2nd step when I realized that my will has had a fair to poor record of not of running my life AND that something outside of me knows - HAS TO KNOW - better. Call it your soul, call it your 'idealized self', call it Jehovah. Atheists and agnostics talk about the collective wisdom of man, or of just their AA/Al-anon group. On the agnostic idea, here is something borrowed from AA (changed up a bit): Follow GOD (Gang of Offspring of Drunks).
Apologies to you and anyone else who might find that a bit sacrilegious.
The 3rd step emphasizes this - we turn our lives and will over to god 'as we understand him/her/them'. This takes some work. It takes prayer, mediation, reading, and/or journaling. You have to - we have to - become aware of our own less-than-perfect thought patterns and to let go. Steps 4 to 9 are a rough outline of the 'digging up and letting go' process that frees up room for the HP to take command.
This was a bit of a rambling B-day message. And its past that day!
Well, Happiness and Holidays to you then.
Upon your birthday every day becomes a bit longer - for the next 6 MONTHS.
Few can say that, my friend.
No no no - no 'shoulds', no 'wouldas', no 'couldas'.
There is -
A) what you want to do for yourself
B) what you need to do for yourself
And A & B are are decidedly second to
C) what your HP wants you to do.
All those 'shouldas' are other's definitions. Pick up any magazine, especially the one's in the supermarket check-out line, and they will give you all the 'shouldas' you need.
And the lottery tickets are sold right next to 'em.
Don't define yourself by the supermarket check out line.
40 means yet another decade of moving forward, new ideas. I have done more daring things in the last 10 years (at 46) than I did in my 20's.
I had a hard time with the HP thing. I am making progress - slowly moving forward.
The 2nd and 3rd steps have been a real mind-reworking for me. I have a lot of self-centered fear that is very resistant to acknowledging anything more important than itself.
I saw the truth of the 2nd step when I realized that my will has had a fair to poor record of not of running my life AND that something outside of me knows - HAS TO KNOW - better. Call it your soul, call it your 'idealized self', call it Jehovah. Atheists and agnostics talk about the collective wisdom of man, or of just their AA/Al-anon group. On the agnostic idea, here is something borrowed from AA (changed up a bit): Follow GOD (Gang of Offspring of Drunks).
Apologies to you and anyone else who might find that a bit sacrilegious.
The 3rd step emphasizes this - we turn our lives and will over to god 'as we understand him/her/them'. This takes some work. It takes prayer, mediation, reading, and/or journaling. You have to - we have to - become aware of our own less-than-perfect thought patterns and to let go. Steps 4 to 9 are a rough outline of the 'digging up and letting go' process that frees up room for the HP to take command.
This was a bit of a rambling B-day message. And its past that day!
Well, Happiness and Holidays to you then.
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