adore79

Hi everyone. I havent been posting much lately but I continue to read a lot and I continue to inspired by everyone here, from the newcomers who are looking to change their lives to the people who have years of experience, I get E,S and H from all of you and it helps me to get through the day. So thank you very much.

I am doing ok, I have only drank a few times in the last two months, which is still not complete abstinence but it is better than drinking everyday, and I feel that I am continuing to make progress towards complete sobriety.

Im taking a break from the job search until the holidays are over, although I have to admit that I have not been too serious about the job search in the past but I plan to change that and really try to find at least a part time job.

Im on a new medicine and it really helps my moods and energy level when I take it as prescribed, but it is so hard not to take more than the prescribed dose, just to catch a little buzz, I hate how difficult it is to be good with it. But I must take it as prescribed or it isnt going to work long term and I really dont want to mess this up, I've made too many bad decisions in the past and I really need to start doing what I know is best for me. But again, the temptation is so freakin hard to fight. Today I took the prescribed amount, and I will not take anymore until tommorrow.

Thanks and happy holidays.

stone

Thanks for the update Felly, I was wondering about you. Keep on keeping on, hun.

Happy xmas to you too!

Horselover

Good to hear from you Felly. I miss your posts. (((FELLY)))

Pam08

Hey Felly, glad your doing okay. I can connect with the job thing..ughhh. I have'nt put much energy into it, but I have to Jan. I need to work for sanity and I need money.

adore79

Thanks for the kind words guys.

I've been watching all the little birds outside, scratching around for food under trees and where there isnt much snow. I wonder if they drink the snow for water, since there is no liquid water? I thought this, but then when I went out and poured boiling water in the birdbath to melt the ice, a little while after the birds were going crazy around it, so maybe they dont eat the snow for water. Anyway, since then I've been keeping the water in the bath liquid and I'm going to buy some bird seed. I love snow.

Ananda

Its good to see you posting felly...and i really enjoy it when you come to chat as well. Enjoy the birds.

My problem is thinking I don't need to take the meds...but it is going pretty well...only missed a few doses this year....it really has helped.

(hugs)

Anna

Hi Felly,

It's good to see you!

Good luck with the job search.

splendra

be gentle with yourself(((((felly)))))

least

I too love to watch the birds. I keep water in the bird bath and try to keep stale bread or popcorn for them to eat. I don't love the snow but do love the birdies. Glad to hear you are feeling and doing alright.

Aysha

Well..I am not a fan of snow. But thats just the beach bum in me.

I am glad to see your positivity fel.
Your an awesome person. And deserve everything good.

Keep moving in the right direction hon.

Astro

Good to hear from you felly, hey I've heard you can buy little heaters to keep bird baths from icing over. I have a dear friend in Ohio who loves birds and animals, she just bought one and enjoys watching and photographing her feathered visitors.

Please be gentle on yourself, but stay safe too. My AA group lost one of our fellows last week, he's been struggling for years and finally gave up the fight.

Like everyone else here you are very loved, I hope you continue to post on SR for many many years to come.

Dee74

(((Felly)))

D

adore79

Im getting better at identifying and changing negative thoughts as they start rather than becoming consumed by them. We really do have a lot of power over how we feel and how we are affected by people/things around us. I really think that if we believe we can be happy, that we will be. I try to conciously generate positive vibes/feelings, and radiate them outwards. I think if I do this enough it will become second nature and I wont have to give it so much attention, it will just happen.

Ive come to realize that there were some life lessons that I didnt learn or didnt catch onto when I was younger and that has led to problems now. This isnt a big deal I dont think as long as I try to be more aware and try to learn or re-learn these things.

Also, being grateful for what I have is becoming easier and easier as time goes by, but it to takes a constant, concious effort on my part. If I relax or my attention is drawn away even for a little while, my mood will drop.

Sometimes I feel fine and all of a sudden a strong sence of fear will wash over me. It is hard to identy where this fear is origionating from, I think it is from a number of sources. Some of the reasons for this fear are beyond my means to fix right now. Some of it seems to just be a part of me, like maybe I am just naturally fearful.

I think everyone here is really strong, whether or not they are struggling or not.

Astro

Just a little more than $16 Bird Bath Heater, 44 watt, (B-9) Farm Innovations Not bad for a birdie jacuzzi!

adore79

Thanks Scott, I'll check at the pet store to see if they have one. Although it doesnt stay freezing very long around here, we are having record lows for this time of year I think. And going out there with warm water and melting the water myself gives me something to do and sence of responsibility that I need. Have a wonderful Christmas!