TryingSoHard

I've been sober for approximately 75 days now, and I'm still getting little "reminders" of stupid things I did when I was drunk, or just how much I was out of it and didn't even realize it. It's sometimes a little thing, like seeing a movie on the channel guide that I know I rented and watched (like "27 Dresses") but do not remember because I "watched" it while I was drunk. And my husband and kids KNOW I rented it, and will sometimes ask me what I thought (or - god forbid - somehow reference the movie and expect me to know what they're referring to) and I have to just play along because I can't admit I don't remember watching it.

Or, like tonight: I took what I thought was a container of curry sauce out of the freezer to thaw. Turns out my hubby already took the curry sauce out, so I was left to wonder what was in the container I had taken out. We open it, and he starts saying it must be this sauce that I made one night to go with some tuna. He's very clearly remembering and describing the dinner, and I'm drawing a complete blank. I had gotten very good at cooking fairly elaborate dinners while intoxicated (imagine what I can do sober!), so I'm not totally surprised that I don't remember this one in particular... but it really bothered me when it popped up today. Of course I had to play along like I knew what he was talking about, but I honestly do not remember it one tiny little bit.

Then there's my favorite - someone will reference an online post I made while I was drunk. *shakes head in shame* Oh my god, I can't believe some of the things I wrote. In public forums. Repeatedly. *sigh*

I just wonder how long this is going to go on. How much longer will these little "surprises" jump out at me? Maybe it's a good thing, though, because whenever something like this happens, it is a slap-in-the-face reminder of exactly why I don't need to drink again. I guess I need those reminders, though, because lately I've really been wanting a drink.

Hope

Hi TSH,

I am glad that you posted because I am also going through this same thing. Maybe it's normal for the time of recovery we're in?

I am looking forward to reading the posts to this thread. Insight would be good.

I wish I knew why this was happening. I just wanted to say that I relate to what you're going through.

Hang in there. You're doing great.

CarolD

Yes...those blank spots happened to me too.
I lost almost all of the '70's ....

One of the best things about being sober?
No more blackouts.

Wanting to drink again?
Check the final paragraph ..page 43...BB
That's helped me immensley during several bad situations.

I also refreshed my AA program with more meetings.

Forward we go...side by side

yeahgr8

great post!

you are doing so well and i defo think these are reminders as to why you should not take that first drink, maybe wait long enough until you do not have any of these reminders before you decide whether to take that drink:-)

75 days is brilliant!

Dee74

I'll trade Carol the 70s for the 90s

I still find movies and books I've supposedly read or seen - the references to things I don't remember have died down a little tho...but mostly cos I 'remember' them 2nd hand now....

you're right tho TSH - they're good reminders - I'm sure Carols not joking about the 70s any more than I am about the 90s...

these days it just causes me to shake my head in wonder at what the blazes was I doing to myself for so long?

D

TryingSoHard

Hope: I'm certainly not happy that you're experiencing this, too, but thank you so much for letting me know I'm not alone. There's always comfort in knowing someone else can understand and I appreciate your ability to relate.

Carol: Spot on about the blackouts. Those were so, so scary. Thanks to you as well for standing by my side.

yeah: thank you for the support and encouragement

Dee: shakin' my head with ya, bud. Some days I just never cease to amaze myself, and not in a good way.

I guess I just thought that after 2 1/2 months those little "surprise reminders" would have become few and far between. Lately they seem to be jumping out at me all the time. Or perhaps I'm noticing them more because the thought of drinking has been on my mind more? I've been feeling like I'm "missing out" again. Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to remind myself exactly what I'm "missing out" on...

Horselover

Thank you so much TSH! I mean this post or thread I should say, really helped me. It got me to remembering the blackouts I would have the next day and my husband would be acting very apologetic about "something." We had argued and I totally forgot about arguing and what it was about. I would take offense to ridiculous things and then make him feel like a heel. It was awful. I thank you again for this big reminder. As for movies and books - ditto to not remembering them. I still have memory problems. I put stuff away while the in laws were visiting and had to scour the house looking for them when mil asked, "Sarah where did you put the tree skirt I brought with me?" Very embarrassing. I can't blame it on old age yet, but I think I know where it came from. Years and years of alcohol abuse have damaged quite a bit of my brain. Sad, but hopefully some of it will come back.

coffeenut

I hope I keep getting those 'reminders'. When I do, I think I'm really hit with how happy I am in sobriety.

Great Thread!

BUTTERFLY-7

Yeah!!!!!!!! I could I identified with you also But as time when By
I Understood that those are just memories,and I'm in the present and that
that's what counts sometimes the Devil will try to bring back your pass
But Don't let it The Devil is a Liar and his Feet Stink!!!!!lol
This is what I would say to Him......