YouveGotStyleKi

About 3 weeks ago, while I was in rehab, an uncle of mine died of cancer. I knew about it when it happened, and it hurt, but we all knew it was coming and he made peace with it...

Well, I just found out a few hours ago that his 24 year old son hung himself at about 6 pm... I was pretty close to him, and I'm crushed...

But I didn't pick up. And I don't have to pick up. I'm just so thankful for my sponsor and my support group, because without them I would probably be doing something I know I shouldn't. I still have my 28 days clean, and that's something I never have to lose.

I'm still pretty messed up over it... But I know that if I can make it through this without using, I can make it through anything. And this might just be my God's way of showing me that this is life. I was way too comfortable in my recovery and this is probably what I needed to realize that I have to stay on guard for the unguarded moment...

Thanks to everyone at this website too for your continued support. I know that I can come here and have the weight of the world lifted from me.

Rella927

YGS Sorry to hear of your losses

God has ways of showing us things that are right for us in our lives...it is up to us
to grab hold and move forward! It appears you are shining in your recovery.

Prayers to you and your family ....

Proud of you for remembering you and your recovery-

least

It is hard enough when a family member or friend dies, but when they take their own life it's even worse. I am sorry for your loss but glad you stayed clean.

endzoner

:ghug3 deepest condolences to you , Im really sorry bout your lose , prayers with you

Mark75

YGS -

Did you get some sleep overnight? I hope you did... Ya still doin' OK

You have alot of strength showing in your post. Keep it coming.

Mark

AverageAmerican

You are making the right choices. Don't give in to your base desires, if you use it won't change anything. Right now you are feeling grief and it's difficult to deal with, but you are FEELING. I personally have tried to dull those type of feelings but it's life and you have to feel the pain to enjoy the happiness. Does that make sense to you? My prayers are with you.

Anna

I am sorry for your situation.

Stay strong!

YouveGotStyleKi

Thanks for the massive support you guys. It's great to know that I have such an extended family who cares for me and would help me through anything. I got a little sleep last night, mostly tossed and turned. Talked to a friend for about 2 1/2 hours and it really helped.

Thanks to everyone, really.

gravity

Last February, my auntie died from cancer. Six weeks later, her young son took his life. This was early in my sobriety.

You know, somehow I was able to become very focused on the other people in their family - my uncle and cousins. I was willing to do anything for these people. Drinking was never an option or even a consideration (this surprised me afterwards, I absolutely did not want to drink during this time). I did my own mourning after, in my own way.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of each other. You have it in you to be strong!

YouveGotStyleKi

I apologize for your loss. I know how hard it can be, and I do feel a little guilty for focusing on myself right now, but it's what I need to do. I definitely feel remorse because now my aunt is all alone, and I'll do what I can to console her... But there really isn't a whole lot I can do. I figure, why get angry or upset if there's nothing I can do to change anything...

Thanks again for all your sympathy. It's a rough time, but the family is pulling through for each other in the clutch. It's still unclear as to why he did it, or if he even left a note, but that will come with time. I have a topic for discussion at the meeting tonight, and I know my support group is really going to pull through for me.

mle-sober

Good job staying strong. One of the things I've noticed in recovery is that it is so much more than the cessation of alcohol. It is also the addition of a deep kind of inner peace that can carry us through anything. I'm glad you have been able to experience this peace in the midst of your loss. And I'm sorry for your loss and sorrow. I know that peace and deep sorrow can exist at the same time.

Sugah

Ki, I'm sorry for your loss. I've been through what you describe, bot in and out of recovery. How I reacted while in active addiction is much different than how I respond now.

Especially with someone so young, it helps me to think that I can live my life in honor to them, living the kind of life that I would have for them.

I'm glad you're clean, my friend.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

gravity

Nothing at all to feel guilty about. We have to keep ourselves strong so that we can help others. My wife, sponsor, and other AA members supported me through those dark days.

At first, I really did not know what I could do for my uncle. But you know, just being there helped. I did sit down with him in private for a couple of hours - a bit uncomfortable at first but we cried together and, believe it or not, I made the old guy laugh a few times (making fun of myself)! Heartbreaking for sure but it is what we have to do for each other.

Mariposa18

I"m so sorry for your loss~

YouveGotStyleKi

Thanks guys... I'm waiting to hear when the funeral is gonna be, and me and my dad are going to make the trip out to see my aunt and everything and be there for her. If I can share my strength in any way, I'm going to do it. I have a few NA members say they would come too if I needed the support. I'm glad to know I've invested myself into such an amazing family... Dysfunctional as it may be, I'm closer to these people that I am my OWN family, and I'm thankful to my HP for these people.

Thank you all again. It means a lot just knowing I have support.

IO Storm

I am so sorry for this double loss..and I am proud of you for keeping your focus

on your sobriety. About a month ago my last uncle died of Altzeimer's..they

simply stopped feeding him, as it was his written request. It was hard on my

Aunt J..the funeral was on what would have been their 60th anniversary..and

their only child, my cousin had passed last year of cancer.

I came here for prayer and support too, and found it.

Isn't SR a wonderful place? I'll be sending my thoughts out to you, and

your family, ...and some prayers..if you don't mind.

For uncle and cousin

And for you..

And there is no guilt whatsoever in keeping sobriety your priority.

Jadmack25

My sincere sympathy and prayers to you and you Aunt in your terrible time of grief.
My best friend's son hanged himself last week and it stunned all who knew him. To add to her pain, while she was away her beloved dog also died.
Sunday morning at Mass, she was the 1st reader, and how she managed to do it without a stumble, I do not know. She says it is only faith, trust and prayer that is seeing her thru, it all. Today is 32 years since my dearly loved dad suddenly died and I miss him so much, even after so long. He is free from him pain, and for that I give thanks, but how I wish I had him for much longer than I did.

My prayers to you all

YouveGotStyleKi

Well, I was supposed to start back to work tomorrow, but with the pressure of what's happening around me I just decided it probably wasn't the best idea. I called my boss and let her know what was going on, and thankfully they understood... I'm just not ready to do anything but recovery. My heart is really weighed down right now and I'm struggling like crazy not to just pick something up... I'm truly struggling.

monkey1

I'm sorry for your loss.
Be gentle with yourself, Style.
I'll be thinking of you.

CarolD

I'm sorry to see you are dealing with such a tragic loss.