Someone please tell me why?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3
Someone please tell me why?
I cant beleave Im dealing with this again!! Please let me vent,I havent been able to tell anyone. My husband and I Quit meth July 2007.Our marriage,life and business was going down the tube,I couldnt even look at my children without guilt. we both were sick of it.We quit and never looked back...well I didnt...thats where the I can't beleave Im dealing with this again comes in. Im mad..hurt..and feel like a fool. We are very blessed We got another chance..we now have a great marriage..wonderful healthy kids...and a very very good income!! So....did he think I wouldnt notice...hello I was on meth for 2 years I know the game. So why after staying clean for so long and our life back on track would he risk it all again?? I know the pull of drugs and I can say no...so why the hell cant he!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi Dreamer and welcome to SR. I don't know why some people can beat addiction and some cannot, I just know that each person has to do it for themselves and that no matter how hard I try, I cannot do it for them or make them do it.
Congratulations on getting yourself clean, now it's up to you to protect yourself and your children from the affects of his using. It isn't easy, it isn't fair, it just is.
Stick around, we all care and are here to listen, and to offer prayers for you and your family.
Hugs
Congratulations on getting yourself clean, now it's up to you to protect yourself and your children from the affects of his using. It isn't easy, it isn't fair, it just is.
Stick around, we all care and are here to listen, and to offer prayers for you and your family.
Hugs
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by dreamer71 
I cant beleave Im dealing with this again!! Please let me vent,I havent been able to tell anyone. My husband and I Quit meth July 2007.Our marriage,life and business was going down the tube,I couldnt even look at my children without guilt. we both were sick of it.We quit and never looked back...well I didnt...thats where the I can't beleave Im dealing with this again comes in. Im mad..hurt..and feel like a fool. We are very blessed We got another chance..we now have a great marriage..wonderful healthy kids...and a very very good income!! So....did he think I wouldnt notice...hello I was on meth for 2 years I know the game. So why after staying clean for so long and our life back on track would he risk it all again?? I know the pull of drugs and I can say no...so why the hell cant he!!!
I wonder the same thing when I see people go back down the same track.
I have 3 years clean (off meth) a friend of mine who lost everything had two over a year and was doing so great went back to heroin and now meth.
I keep wracking my brain trying to understand something that there is no way to understand.
It must be so much more frustrating for you him being your husband and it being your life. I can't even imagine.
I guess you know the only thing you can do is take care of you and your kids and he'll hopefully wise up and stop sooner than later this time.
Keep venting, your not a fool, you know how meth is, it's not about you.
It's about him and his choices it has nothing to do with you.
Keep talking sweetie, lots of people here for you.
Have you been to any alanon meetings?
Take Care of You First!!
:ghug3
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Some are sicker than others....and recover at different lengths of time. Do you know if he was hanging around other people that were using which before he may have been staying away from? I know they say to avoid certain people, places, etc where we might be putting our sobriety in jeopardy. Some can quit (like yourself) and never look back..while others start out well...but old thoughts start creeping in..and unless some positive action is taken...they are almost always doomed to fail..give in to stinkin' thinkin'. Glad you still have your clean time. Keep looking ahead. Did either of you ever go to NA or find help elsewhere...if not, he might give them a try...if he has a "desire" to quit. 
A Brand New Life
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 287
I know that I have heard it mentioned many times that people quit when they are ready and when the risk of losing everything is their doorstep rather than in the near future. Basic psychology hints that he is not ready and the risk isn't great enough or that he is personally giving up on the alternative plan. I would set my boundaries and go on with your plan-work it for yourself and Let go in Love...I wish you so much hope and love because we are all there for you sis...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm a recovering crack addict, and I, too, wonder why some of us "get" recovery and others go back out there.
I'm sorry for what you are going through, but you know that recovery is only something he can do for himself. Focus on you and the kids, set some boundaries and stick to them.
Just because we've been-there-done-that, doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. Stick around here, and maybe check out al-anon or nar-anon meetings. I've found out it's pretty painful on THIS side of addiction, too, and we need a lot of support.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry for what you are going through, but you know that recovery is only something he can do for himself. Focus on you and the kids, set some boundaries and stick to them.
Just because we've been-there-done-that, doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. Stick around here, and maybe check out al-anon or nar-anon meetings. I've found out it's pretty painful on THIS side of addiction, too, and we need a lot of support.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3
Thank you all for the reply!! My first grandbaby was born A week ago...she was born with Transposition of the great arteries(that is her arteries were reversed) She had open heart surgery on Tuesday.Went perfect!! That same day my mother(my rock) had a heart Attack.....she is ok now. I told you all that because just puts my life in prospective. Just one more reason for me to stay clean. and as far as my husband...well you all are right..he has to find his on road. Thank you all for you support!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Just wanted to offer my prayers for you and your family.
I too am a recovering meth addict/alcoholic, and my ex never found recovery. He was buried last year at the age of 47.
I am so glad your precious grandbaby is doing well, and that your mother is okay! :ghug :ghug
I too am a recovering meth addict/alcoholic, and my ex never found recovery. He was buried last year at the age of 47.
I am so glad your precious grandbaby is doing well, and that your mother is okay! :ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Once had a script for Vicodin, for tooth extraction. It made me feel loopy. I am loopy enough , as is. I tossed them. And yet, loopy is a desirable sensation for some.
Why? I do not know. Maybe some people do not know how to or cannot get in touch with their inner loopiness, without assistance.
Why? I do not know. Maybe some people do not know how to or cannot get in touch with their inner loopiness, without assistance.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
It's a disease, and a disease that is subject to relapse. Period. addicts relapse. Most relapse. I relapsed after 10 years. and after 3, and after 2 (3 different times after 2 years.). Now I am coming up in March on 5 yrs. clean (again). I still want to use drugs pretty often but I have tools from NA. Do you? Truth is, most addicts never get clean at all, never even get a year clean. bad disease. Take care of yours now that you are living with your drug of choice right there with you. You are at risk, so go to a meeting and save your own butt. Maybe your husband will seek recovery too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3
Hello. Haven't posted on here in years. I got a Birthday notice. Could have done without that for sure. Haha don't need a reminder I'm getting older. Well back to my post. I don't think life gets any better. My husband has been clean now 6 years. You all were right. It's a personal journey. We all get clean in different ways and different times. We are doing wonderful. Best friends. We both have put that in our past and now focus on our spiritual walk and our family. I don't think I could have ever dreamed up a husband this man has turned into. I do count myself one the lucky blessed ones. We are building a new home and enjoying our life. Fishing hunting camping. Loving life and who we have in it. Thanks again for all the support and kind words. There is life after drug addiction!!!! My husband and I are living proof!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Originally Posted by dreamer71
Hello. Haven't posted on here in years. I got a Birthday notice. Could have done without that for sure. Haha don't need a reminder I'm getting older. Well back to my post. I don't think life gets any better. My husband has been clean now 6 years. You all were right. It's a personal journey. We all get clean in different ways and different times. We are doing wonderful. Best friends. We both have put that in our past and now focus on our spiritual walk and our family. I don't think I could have ever dreamed up a husband this man has turned into. I do count myself one the lucky blessed ones. We are building a new home and enjoying our life. Fishing hunting camping. Loving life and who we have in it. Thanks again for all the support and kind words. There is life after drug addiction!!!! My husband and I are living proof!
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