Going to be around my 30 year old AD tonight...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Going to be around my 30 year old AD tonight...
My grandkids are still allowed to be with their mother on the weekends, and 9 year old grandson Johnathan is in a Christmas play at church this evening, so I am driving down to see the play.
They say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, and that is where I am finally at with my 30 year old AD. There are just no feelings there whatsoever. She is what she is, and there has been no evidence of change since age 15 now.
I focus on the joy of whatever the occasion is with the grandkids during those rare times I have this situation, because most times I attend something, it's when the grandkids are at home with their dad and stepmom.
I know Johnathan will just do smashing in the play! He is quite the little man. Having only had daughters myself, it was a whole new experience for me, and one that came with many new grey hairs, having a grandson!
They say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, and that is where I am finally at with my 30 year old AD. There are just no feelings there whatsoever. She is what she is, and there has been no evidence of change since age 15 now.
I focus on the joy of whatever the occasion is with the grandkids during those rare times I have this situation, because most times I attend something, it's when the grandkids are at home with their dad and stepmom.
I know Johnathan will just do smashing in the play! He is quite the little man. Having only had daughters myself, it was a whole new experience for me, and one that came with many new grey hairs, having a grandson!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Freedom,
I sure wished I lived in your neck of the woods, I'd love to go see Jonathan in his play, I can just tell this will lead him on the road to his Oscar!
Little people are the best, aren't they?
As for your AD..youre right, what is....is.
You just have a ball, and enjoy that grandson of yours...
Hugs...
I sure wished I lived in your neck of the woods, I'd love to go see Jonathan in his play, I can just tell this will lead him on the road to his Oscar!
Little people are the best, aren't they?
As for your AD..youre right, what is....is.
You just have a ball, and enjoy that grandson of yours...
Hugs...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Little people are the best! I always said they should have made diapers for little boys with Perowitz flames on them because that little guy had one speed, turbo!
He's still pretty energetic, but at least we can channel it into more constructive venues other than climbing on everything in the house like he did as a toddler!
He's still pretty energetic, but at least we can channel it into more constructive venues other than climbing on everything in the house like he did as a toddler!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Freedom, I hope you had a blast tonight...I know your grandson was the star! I'm sorry your daughter hasn't changed, but so glad you have the tools you need to enjoy life and your family despite the drama of addiction. Hugs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It's times like this that become treasures in our hearts. I hope he was a big hit and proud of himself. Little boys are amazing little angels in waiting...they never stand still long enough to keep the halos on straight. 
Hugs
Hugs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
What a trooper! He was the only one who didn't need prompting when it was his turn with the microphone and his portion of the Christmas story to recite! The play was just delightful.
I was surprised to see the grandkids' stepmom also show up with the new twin boys (just born in Sept) as I knew their dad would be there to pick them up, but I was delighted as I got to hold both Hayden and Jayden (the twins) during the play. Nothing like the smell of babies and those precious soft fuzzy baby heads to kiss. She was there to support Johnathan. Normally she stays home with the babies and little brother Aaron when he picks up Johnathan and Alexandria.
I was so sad for their stepmother because she was so tense the whole time as my AD completely ignores her. My AD has been nothing but horrible to her, and the stepmother has been more of a mother to my grandchildren then my AD has or ever will be.
I gave her a hug after the play and told her I would like to stop by and see her and the babies and Aaron (age 4) after my appointment at the Neuroscience Center on the morning of the 24th, so I'll call her on the 23rd. The grandkids will be at AD's because they were home at Thanksgiving.
I'm going to try and come up with something nice for her for Christmas as she lost her mother to cancer last year, and she's only 28. She lived with her mother the last year of her life and took care of her after she became too ill to work. I can't imagine being that young and without a mother. Her father is not a part of her life.
I was surprised to see the grandkids' stepmom also show up with the new twin boys (just born in Sept) as I knew their dad would be there to pick them up, but I was delighted as I got to hold both Hayden and Jayden (the twins) during the play. Nothing like the smell of babies and those precious soft fuzzy baby heads to kiss. She was there to support Johnathan. Normally she stays home with the babies and little brother Aaron when he picks up Johnathan and Alexandria.
I was so sad for their stepmother because she was so tense the whole time as my AD completely ignores her. My AD has been nothing but horrible to her, and the stepmother has been more of a mother to my grandchildren then my AD has or ever will be.
I gave her a hug after the play and told her I would like to stop by and see her and the babies and Aaron (age 4) after my appointment at the Neuroscience Center on the morning of the 24th, so I'll call her on the 23rd. The grandkids will be at AD's because they were home at Thanksgiving.
I'm going to try and come up with something nice for her for Christmas as she lost her mother to cancer last year, and she's only 28. She lived with her mother the last year of her life and took care of her after she became too ill to work. I can't imagine being that young and without a mother. Her father is not a part of her life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
It is so wonderful that you are open to their step-mom. You are really giving your grandchildren a wonderful gift with that because it allows them to love both of you. Too many people put kids in the position of picking sides. You are showing a lot of love by being open to her.
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