AverageAmerican

I've been trying to figure out what it is about alcohol that makes me want to just numb myself on a daily/nightly basis. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that life is boring and that is why I want to drink. I've reached a point in my life where it's become clear that I won't ever be rich, famous, or live the life of a rock star. I've got a ton of bills and I don't want to think about them. I'm 13 days sober now and today was kind of rough. Worked in the yard a little, cleaned out the shed and then I felt I "deserved" a couple of beers. My wife cleaned up the house, washed the kitchen floor and pretty much felt she "deserved" a drink. The devil juice store closes here at 7:00 p.m. and the last hour or so before they closed was rough. In the end we didn't get anything to drink tonight and tomorrow the store is closed. So what do you guys do to keep life "interesting"?

December15

It is funny how we feel we deserve a drink. My problem starts an hour before finishing work. Hell, I do a stressfull job I start thinking, so yes I deserve a bottle of wine and some cigarettes to help me unwind. So then I visit the bottle shop and purchase the wine, go back to the hotel (as a consultant I live most of my time in hotels) and finish the bottle then go down to the bar and get a large glass of white wine on expenses and this is just about enough to give me that swimming feeling and so I stop and determine to go clean from now on. And the next day the process continues. To keep life interesting I have taken up mountain climbing - it has put a whole new dimension to my life. I am still drinking , though refrained yesterday so only on day 2 but am feeling this time I am in with a chance of keeping sober.

CarolD

My favorite hobby was flying private planes.

I took classes that I found interesting ..check out the
Adult Education resources in your area.

I've done volunteer work for the Red Cross..my church..
a free medical clinic...a senior Center ..political causes.

I know how to fish...shoot...hunt...cook gourmet meals..
steer boats...play the flute and violin. (but not well)

My AA commitment has kept me fascinated
for over 20 years.

It's my ovservation and experience that only
boors are bored....

Glad to know you and your wife are sober
and willing to explore new experiences...

CarolD

A few years ago.... members
shared on a slightly different thred.
You may find something on the list..

150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. G

yeahgr8

I always drunk because it helped me deal with myself and what i thought was my life, you know life's hard etc. The humdrum of going out with friends, cinema, usual day stuff was not for me, couldn't understand how people did not just blow their brains out, instead i would be racing from gambling to bars to the liquor store etc. When i drank i would be able to listen to music and dream about all the things i wanted to do and wanted to be, and always at the end of the night i would promise myself not to drink the next day and start fulfilling all my dreams...it never happened.

Just 2 months without a drink, and i guarantee this only works with total abstinance, i listen to the same music and i think about my future and know, now, that all my dreams are in the palm of my hand and i can do whatever i want and achieve whatever i want. I probably am doing things that the drunk me would laugh at like posting here with my headphones on a sunday morning, going for drives, looking round shops, reading, watching my favourite films, speaking to my one friend etc. but i have never been happier.

So if you think life is boring you still do not get it and no-one can help you with that but you, I wish i could make you see though and hope you get it sooner rather than later:-)

My father was a drunk, one of these who would never dream of going to AA, posting here etc...he's a very proud man you see?! He cut down drinking when he was about 40, i see him every few years, he has a new wife with my nutty but lovely step brother, lives in his late Mum's bungalow, wouldn't know what to do with money if you gave him some! I remember a few years ago watching him 'control' his drinking, which for an alchie he has done successfully i guess, he drinks his 6 well deserved drinks and then he tootles off home at closing time (goes out at 9pm so he can't drink more) still talks the same sh** as before about life, we are all here to propogate the species, life is boring, no man is an island but him etc. he is 64 now...still doesn't get it! Still without a pot to p*** in moaning about all the rich people and how everyone has got it better than him and if only....

You deserve not to drink/gamble/use and to have a great life and it does not matter how much money you have or what you do, you do not deserve to have the crap associated with the want/need for anything in your head continually tainting your, what should be, fun and enjoyable existence and you do not need a list of things to do ,as if you are honest with yourself, you already know what you want to be doing.

I can't count the amount of men i met down the bars with a drink in their hand telling me about how their drinking had got out of hand for a while but now they limit themselves etc. and even when i was listening unsteady, slurring a response, wondering if i should end it all, i could not help thinking god don't ever let me be one of them!

So no more booze, get help here and in the many other places available and if you find life boring why not run round the yard screaming like a banshee patting yourself on the head whilst rubbing your stomach naked, whatever it takes for you to see that it is not!!!

Good luck:-)

Rusty Zipper

i see life as interesting...

and i may not be a rock star, i can still pick up the sticks tho...

good wishes AA

AA, Hmmm!

AverageAmerican

Thanks guys, these have been some great responses. Life is what you make of it I suppose. I loved your post yeahgr8 although it did make me feel like slapping myself on the forehead and saying "You are an ungrateful schmuck!". I don't want to be the kind of person that you describe your father to be. I also don't want to see my children just every few years. I want/need to use my time in a more productive fashion. CarolD that list is great. I will do 3 of those things today! Starting with calling my Mom. Rusty zipper... the AA hhmmm moment hit me as well while I was in a chat room here and someone abreviated my name... must have been my sub-conscious.

Phaleron - what do you hunt? I hunt for squirrel and deer. I also like to fish but don't seem to have much luck there. Maybe, because I was more focused on finishing my beer than fishing.

December 15 - Good luck with your recovery. It's not easy but it is worth it!

For all of you that have responded...

Mark75

(good one Rusty...)

Hey

Don't I know about the reward thing. I had an awesome day yesterday - day 90. I didn't think about the alcohol and pills too much. Went out with my wife and was in a great mood.

Driving home about 10:30 pm that damn knot developed in the pit of my stomach. How many years, after a great day, at the end of the day, did I feel I deserved a drink, celebrate... I was pissed last night because my heart and mind were in the right place (spiritually fit) and it was like my body had a mind of its own...

Also - the boring thing... I too have thought bunches about that. I've come to the point where, for me, I realize that alcohol and pills made me boring, I was just numb to that fact. That doesn't mean I don't have urges and get a little freaked if think about the forever thing...

Keep going in sobriety ! Keep coming back !

Mark

least

I started drinking with a glass of wine in mid afternoon and a specific goal: to relax and chill out so I wouldn't be inclined to fight and argue with the kids when they came home from high school. It worked, alright, but I started having another glass to further 'relax'. Didn't take long until I found myself drinking a bottle of wine a day, and not much longer til a bottle wasn't enough. Then I noticed I was waking up with extreme anxiety and couldn't even have my cup of coffee cause of the agitation.

My drinking career was short but intense. From March to December last year I went straight downhill. One year ago I admitted to myself and my family that I was an alcoholic and needed to stop drinking completely. But it took me from last December til mid July to actually stop for good. I tried to control my drinking but it was no use. I always ended up drinking the whole bottle and often more. Was told by daughter that I picked her up from school on several occasions obviously drunk. I always thought I was 'fine' to drive. But even with my own realization and the kids telling me of drunken stupid behavior, it took me many months to be able to stop.

I know now I can never take another drink, that one drink will always lead to more, and that I don't want to fall back into that self destructive pit of horrors. I am too afraid of what will happen if I start drinking again, that it would only be a matter of time til I had a wreck and hurt or killed myself, my kids, or an innocent stranger.

I often resent that I can't drink normally, but am too afraid of the results if I drink again. So I'm staying sober.

tommyk

I drank in order to become someone I wasn't, because I didn't like the person I was.

After having no alcohol for 14 years now I face reality head-on and I have sooooo many hobbies.

chick3

I think I drank for several reasons...I come from a family of alcoholics, my grandfather (who quit), my mom (who is still drinking). I also have a history of eating disorders so know that I have an addictive personality. I drank to relieve stress of being home a lot with my 3 daughters (my husband works a ton). I drank to have a good time with my girlfriends...I drank when I was happy, sad, stressed, angry, annoyed and bored.

But, I quit because I want something more in my life. I want more for my daughters and my family. I don't want to be hungover anymore, I don't want to forget anymore. I want to live in the present and enjoy what I have been given.

I am 7 days sober today. I'm not saying the past week has been easy, morning are awesome, I run, bake, clean, play with the kids...nights are a little rougher, but I know I have made the right decision. I get on this site, I go to AA, I distract myself so I won't drink. One day at a time.

Know that you are doing the right thing!

gravity

I like the way it is said in the Big Book (doctors opinion):

Nothing to do with my childhood, stressful job, marriage, etc. Bottom line - I like the effect.

The problem being, of course, is that once I start drinking I can't stop. I used to be obsessed with proving otherwise.

For the most part my life is quite interesting and enjoyable - career, family, friends, AA, hobbies. I do get bored at times but I would sooner be bored than blacked-out.



BB quote from the 1st edition of the BB

endzoner

hows bout a nice reward of takin the wife to the local twisty shop ( DQ or what ever ) for a frosty or a shake or something like that its a treat and something diff for you both . theres many alternitives for rewards for a good job done . Rock on Adverage on staying in the moment of soberity ...

four812

i heard someone say "if you are bored it is because you are boring". well that means that I can change. unfortunately it takes more than a day or a week. so for now in early sobriety for me, sometimes when i am bored I simply go to a meeting.

actually i am bored right now. i've eaten food, smoked cigarettes, watching football, did some cleaning and thought about taking a nap because rest couold be good for me right now, and here i am online. now that is boring to me. spending too much time on line. but alas I am here anyway. and actually these last few moments with SR have felt a little less boring.

Hevyn

What a great question, AverageAmerican - some terrific responses, too. It is so hard to learn to live without our little reward. You do have to find a whole new way of dealing with your free time. The reason I drank in the first place was due to being bored, mainly with myself, I was so shy and self-conscious I never had a so-called "normal" life. (Back in the day, no one noticed if a child was different, you were just told to suck it up and get over yourself.) With drinking I was instantly in love with the calming effects of it and it's ability to make me feel part of the world. Instead of working on my problems I buried them, never grew or matured emotionally.

Be kind to yourself - it's all so new to you, and I can remember how I felt in those early days. A fish out of water, alien - stumbling around and trying to tell myself I was doing the right thing by quitting. It's misery in the beginning, but I promise it will improve - all the things they say about your brain needing to be re-wired are true. I hope you've read about the Post Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms. Just knowing we aren't alone is huge - and the things written here will prevent me from picking up in the next few weeks. The holiday season is rough. Thanks for helping me with your words.

Pam08

As I read all the responses, which were great, I was thinking..we drink because we are bored..but if any of you are like me, I sat alone, drinking and smoking cigs. until I blacked out and ended with passing out. I can't imagine anything that could be more boring then that, I have missed out on life for so many years. And what did I get out of it? Guilt, shame, feeling like crap, and psychologially messed up..
For me:
I go to AA alot, I do for me which is anything that is making me happy and content. I used to do what I was supose to do, what was demanded of me...but I took control of my life and am doing everything and anything to stay sober. I will go to any lengths to stay sober.
We have to get used to living in our own skin, and I think that will take time for us newbies. we never will achieve the serenity if we continue to drink. And I want what I see with the ole timers.

Latte

I drank because I couldn't cope with life. Ya, that didn't work well.

I have a million things to do today that don't involve drinking. Today I reward myself with a healthy lifestyle. I work out and eat right and occasionally have a very good piece of dark chocolate.

Anna

I drank in order to maintain the facade of who I was trying to be, when I knew I wasn't that person. I was terrified to see a glimpse of the real me.

Mariposa18

First time I drank it was to "feel better" because I was depressed. I learned quickly how getting drunk allowed me to forget pain and emotions, so that's why I continued. I also *LIKED* the feeling of being drunk, the way I *thought* it made me look. The way it made me feel less self conscious, I lost that brain to mouth filter that kept me from saying what I really thought.

I drank for *ALL THE WRONG REASONS* and I''ve stopped for all the right ones =) I honestly don't feel my life is boring and I sure as hell know *I* am not boring. It's nice to read and remember the storyline to my books, it's nice to watch a movie and be able to discuss it with my Husband, it's nice to cook and not burn myself constantly because I'm too drunk to realize how hot the stove is.

I'm learning that alcohol kept me from being who I really need to be. As much as I thought it was helping me come out of a shell it was really putting me under lock and key. I'm getting to know myself and even though it's scary, it's wonderful as well~

littlefish

When my drinking became chronic, there wasn't any particular reason why I drank. I drank when I was sad or happy. Bored or interested, busy or idle. Angry or calm. The fact that I drank for reasons that were in conflict with each other made me realize that I had reached the point that I was simply drinking out of habit. There really wasn't any reason for it anymore.

The question of boredom comes up a lot here. I was thinking about that today. I think my life was just as boring (occasionally) when I was drinking as it is (occasionally) now.
I used alcohol to enter into a fantasy world. My experience watching favorite films (repeatedly) was heightened to the point where I felt like I was IN the film; I would blow comments people made on talk forums way out of proportion, I would crank up the drama level in my arguments with my husband to real stage quality productions. I would spend long (drunk) periods of time during my day analyzing relationships I had with people or events in life, and dramatize them so that I could play the part of the heroine, the sufferer, the brave trooper. There was a lot of action going on in my life, but, of course, all of that action existed only in my head.

Existing in a fantasy world is not really the quality of life I want.

I can't say that my life is wildly exciting now; my sobriety is very new and rather fragile. I do know that I used to do a lot of things in life when I was younger and before alcohol took over; I was never bored.

So, for me, I am hoping that staying sober will give me the chance to return to the way I used to live. Alcohol took a lot of good things away from my life. I used to paint, photograph, I spent a lot of years creating art. I used to work with my hands a lot too, and there are objects around my house that I created. Then, there were the years when I didn't create anything.

I think everyone's journey of recovery is unique, with me I want to reclaim some of the things I used to have.