Maggiemac

My name is Maggie I am 61 years old I am retired. I worked 31 years at a state mental hospital. I have a husband we have been married 43years. I have 1 child his name is Jason he is 39. Since myself and husband were brought up poor we wanted everything for our son and he got anything he wanted. He finished high school and he wanted to be a chef so he went to school for it and did very well. The money was not that good so went to paint water towers. He fell and was hurt very bad. He was put on a lot of pain medication. After a while the doctor said he couldn't take all those medictions any more. So he started taking medication he got off the street. I told him this was not good but he said he new what he was doing. Well he did not know and got addicted to herion he didn't tell me or his dad but he got arrested and he had to tell. He went to rehab. came out went to the meeting and seem to be doing well. He hid his relasp from me and his dad. On Nov. 19th of this year we got a call from a girl he was with at the time saying Jason was dead. I was in shock didn't think I heard her right. Put my husband on the phone. When he put the phone down I know I heard right. My only child was DEAD. We rushed to her house the police were their and the amblance they told us he had died we ask How. They said we have to wait for the cornor to tell us. We tried to talk to the girl but she was just talking and talking and not saying anthing. Then we went home crying and beleaving it was a dream and we would wake up and everything would be ok. No so what we did do is go to the funeral home to arrange his funeral. People loved Jason 400 came to see him not one said anything of his drug use.
Now at the end of the day my boy died overdosed on drugs intead of having a happy long life. I have no heart now because I gave it all to him. It is all I can go to get out of bed in the morning. I never want to go outside but at times I have to go to the store for food. My husband and our family members are all walking around in a fog. I ask God every night why it should have been me I am old he had a lot of life left but not with drugs maybe God took him for a reason he did take him softly in his sleep. So if anyone reading this is a drug user don't think you know what you are taking because it my kill you so please try with all you have to stop.
I think of my son everyday missing and loving him.
Maggie

cassandra2

Oh Maggie my heart goes out to you and your husband. Its stories like yours that make this journey all the more difficult.

Everyday brings new hope.

I pray for you and your husband and maybe someday for GOD to reveal the reasons your son was taken so soon.

Tell your story. Find as many places like this as you can. And ask GOD for someone's life to be saved by your story.

GOD bless you,
Cassandra

endzoner

Im really sorry bout your boy . But thankyou so very much for sharing this , I have many friends on here , I hope they learn for your share what can happen if they dont get help . your share can save someone elses life . Its to late for your sons , but its not to late for another life to be saved , Im glad you found your way here to post . Many will be around to share there thoughts with you , My prayers are with you as a mom of a past on child her self , they are safe where they are , I hope you find peace in that . Endzy

cmc

Maggie,

Welcome to SR.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry for the pain and the grief you are feeling. I hope that you will continue to come by to read and post here on SR. We have another forum called 'Grief and Loss' that may be of interest to you as well as this one.

I am a mother of a young man who used drugs for over ten years, thankfully he is clean now and got a second chance at having a good life.

By sharing about your son, you are giving more than just a warning to those who continue to live in that lifestyle....hopefully his life and his untimely passing will help motivate those who still have a choice to stop.

Have you heard of the group called Compassionate Friends? They offer support to all who have lost a child and maybe there is a group nearby where you live. Please take care of yourself, you don't have to be alone, there are others who care.

marle

Maggie, I am so sorry for your heartbreak. Those of us who love addicts know that is our worst fear. My daughter (only child) is also a heroin addict. She is currently 6 months clean by the Grace of God. But inside me there is always that fear that she will use again. When she was actively using the only thing that I could do was to ask God to take care of her. It must be so hard for you and your husband. I will keep your family in my prayers. Prayers for Jason that he is in a better place, one where addiction no longer can hurt him. Marle

Ann

Maggie, I am so sorry for your loss. My son is an addict too, and has been missing for over 4 years.

I dread getting that awful call that you got...but I have learned not to live my life in fear and sadness, Maggie.

I pray that you can find the support you need and that slowly the sadness and pain will lessen enough for you to begin living again.

We grieve for our boys, Maggie, both lost to addiction in one way or another, but we can walk together, here, and find a good reason for our lives to go on.

We're all walking with you, sharing our light until you can find yours again.

Hugs

ctrom40

Maggie,

I am so sorry for your loss.

My son (21) is in active addiction, my daughter (23) has been sober for almost one year, I thank God for that.

Thank you for sharing your story.
I pray that you and your family can find peace and comfort.

Hugs,

winnie12

I'm so very sorry for your loss. There are just no words that could be said to a parent grieving in this way. My only advice I give from loosing a young neice in an accident which I know doesnt even remotely compare to your loss. Death is hard for those left behind but when its a senseless tragedy our natural reaction is to ask why. There are no answers to why - it is something beyond human understanding. i still find myself asking the why questions but i know that i wont ever understand and it merely torments my mind to try to understand. Accepting that fact helped. Please take care of yourself.

outtolunch

I am sorry for you loss.

Know that you are making a difference.

AquaBlue

Dear Maggie,

I am SO very for the loss of your son. My heart breaks for your pain. My son is 21, and also in active addiction. Your reality is my daily fear. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I understand you didn't know of your son's relapse, but don't be hard on yourself- many of us do know of our children's using, relapsing, etc. and we are still unable to help them.

I pray for you and your husband's peace, Maggie.

Impurrfect

((((Maggie))))

I am so very sorry for your loss. This is every parent's worst nightmare, but I am glad you are here, with some very compassionate friends.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Freedom1990

I am so sorry for your profound loss. I pray that your extraordinary selflessness in sharing your story may make a difference in someone else's life. :ghug :ghug

mooselips

(((Maggie)))
Thank you for sharing your story. And prayers coming your way that you can get on with your life and once again be happy.
You are living the nightmare all of us parents carry.


Prayers for Jason too, I am positive where he is at this moment he is happy and enjoying every moment, drug free, and wishes for you to have a happy life too.

Give yourself time Maggie, and do good things for you.
You have a strength in there, I see it in your posting, and sharing.

Hugs and hugs and hugs....

bluejay6

I am so sorry, Maggie. I have a son, too. Maggie, your son was so lucky to have had such loving parents, to know love and devotion in his time here, to have lived knowing you and his father would have done anything for him and his greatest happiness. I hope you will continue loving others in this world, I think that would make him happy. I cannot imagine your devastation right now. It was not in your power to save him, Maggie. The only thing you could do, you did do: you loved him with all your heart.
Please do take care, and draw on others to carry you.

outonalimb

Maggie,

I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my brother to an overdose almost 4 years ago.
So many mixed emotions to deal with...and they are all so intense and raw. I found comfort in knowing that my brother wasn't wrestling with addiction anymore...that he had found peace...and I held onto this thought fiercely (still do, as a matter of fact). I am so sorry for your loss.
You are in my prayers.

Latte

I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. The message is important.

rahsue

thank you maggie for sharing your story with us.
My heart aches for you.
Your story is what all of us are holding our breath for, for fear of hearing the same thing about our loved one.
I will pray for your grief to be short lived and soon you can remember all the good things about your son and his life and you lives together.

notsleepingwell

Maggie...I'm soooo sorry for you loss. Prayers going out for you and your family.







I can't imagine your pain. My heart goes out to you

Done_With_It

I am so sorry for your loss Maggie.
My prayers go out to you and your husband.
My grandma lost her son, it's something no
parent should ever have to go through.
Her comfort is, He's in Gods hands now,
that seems to give her some peace.

Keep posting this is a wonderful and very
supportive group here.

Much love and light..