Ok now this is just a thought
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 282
Ok now this is just a thought
I was just sitting here reading posts and one touched on the personality changes in A's. Some people think that the A's true personality comes through when they are drunk. Others say that the brain is so sick that the mind is warped and the drunk person isn't real either.
(This goes for codies too.)
So it has to be true that an A who gets sober will have a 3rd personality. The person they were before they became addicted is gone. The person they were when they were active is gone (hopefully).
There is just no way that a person who goes through addiction and recovery and works to stay there can ever be the same. I wonder if all of our A's that we love so much were to suddenly become sober and work a program (yeah I know it's only a thought) we may find that we don't really even like who they have become and they may realize they don't like who we have become.
Just a wild thought.
(This goes for codies too.)
So it has to be true that an A who gets sober will have a 3rd personality. The person they were before they became addicted is gone. The person they were when they were active is gone (hopefully).
There is just no way that a person who goes through addiction and recovery and works to stay there can ever be the same. I wonder if all of our A's that we love so much were to suddenly become sober and work a program (yeah I know it's only a thought) we may find that we don't really even like who they have become and they may realize they don't like who we have become.
Just a wild thought.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Well, my ex told me that in recovery I'd become the father to our children that she always hoped I'd be. But she's also told me that my spiritual beliefs make her want to vomit.
I can tell you for sure that we're definitely not compatible now, we're more like oil and water.
I can tell you for sure that we're definitely not compatible now, we're more like oil and water.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by loner1968 
I was just sitting here reading posts and one touched on the personality changes in A's. Some people think that the A's true personality comes through when they are drunk. Others say that the brain is so sick that the mind is warped and the drunk person isn't real either.
(This goes for codies too.)
So it has to be true that an A who gets sober will have a 3rd personality. The person they were before they became addicted is gone. The person they were when they were active is gone (hopefully).
There is just no way that a person who goes through addiction and recovery and works to stay there can ever be the same. I wonder if all of our A's that we love so much were to suddenly become sober and work a program (yeah I know it's only a thought) we may find that we don't really even like who they have become and they may realize they don't like who we have become.
Just a wild thought.
(This goes for codies too.)
So it has to be true that an A who gets sober will have a 3rd personality. The person they were before they became addicted is gone. The person they were when they were active is gone (hopefully).
There is just no way that a person who goes through addiction and recovery and works to stay there can ever be the same. I wonder if all of our A's that we love so much were to suddenly become sober and work a program (yeah I know it's only a thought) we may find that we don't really even like who they have become and they may realize they don't like who we have become.
Just a wild thought.
that turned out to be the truth for me, I couldn't just "bury" that part of me, I had to learn to "integrate" it in a positive and healthy way.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
loner, in my case (codependent) you were certainly right.
If I read back in my journals during early recovery, read my journals from my 20's (before the worst happened), and look at my journals now, there are definitely three different people talking.
My ABF from my twenties would hate the person I've become - calm, secure, not an enabler. My ABF from my thirties says "I'm not the girl he met". (Thank god, says me.)
The alcoholics in my life follow the same pattern, if I think about it. None of them have ever returned to the person they were before the addiction sank its teeth into them.
What about you? Are you the same person, better, worse?
If I read back in my journals during early recovery, read my journals from my 20's (before the worst happened), and look at my journals now, there are definitely three different people talking.
My ABF from my twenties would hate the person I've become - calm, secure, not an enabler. My ABF from my thirties says "I'm not the girl he met". (Thank god, says me.)
The alcoholics in my life follow the same pattern, if I think about it. None of them have ever returned to the person they were before the addiction sank its teeth into them.
What about you? Are you the same person, better, worse?
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
we all change throughout life. life's events mold us into better people or bitter people. it's all in how we accept change and life's curve balls.
i wasn't willing to stick around and see what my xah would turn out to be, because it was all based upon my expectations.
so i learned to see how i turned out. sometimes i was delighted and sometimes i was disappointed. both ways taught me invaluable lessons.
i understand what you are saying.....i used to be afraid of him getting sober because he may not want me then. holy moly!!!!!! like he really wanted me when he was using.
but, hey, he did want me......he needed someone to humiliate, torture, berate, suck the money from, a place to live.....he needed a real good enabler. and i was there.
writing this down makes me sick to my stomach. and at the same time a light bulb went on.
i wasn't willing to stick around and see what my xah would turn out to be, because it was all based upon my expectations.
so i learned to see how i turned out. sometimes i was delighted and sometimes i was disappointed. both ways taught me invaluable lessons.
i understand what you are saying.....i used to be afraid of him getting sober because he may not want me then. holy moly!!!!!! like he really wanted me when he was using.
but, hey, he did want me......he needed someone to humiliate, torture, berate, suck the money from, a place to live.....he needed a real good enabler. and i was there.
writing this down makes me sick to my stomach. and at the same time a light bulb went on.
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