stoner311

For the last 5 years I have been hoarding alcohol in all varieties and binge drink till I either fall asleep or black out. I can never just have a "few" drinks, it's all or nothing. But it wasn't every day that I would binge just on the weekends or a few times during the week. I'm currently taking Lexapro and since I started taking Lexapro my drinking has worsened. My mind has become maniacal in the sense of thinking about drinking all the time and really feeling a deep hunger to get another drink. I know it's dangerous to drink alcohol while taking this medication but I just can't stop. I've done AA and it didn't really work for me, just made me depressed and nervous. Not big on social settings, so I'm going to try these online forums. I need to quit because I've lost a lot of friends because of my drinking. I've missed work countless times. While I'm in the throngs of an alcohol binge I've said and done things that seem almost as if I was demonically possessed. Things that I could never imagine doing or saying when I'm sober. I don't know where to start. I don't want to go back to AA meetings. Any ideas on how to get started would be greatly appreciated.

nolawench

Welcome stoner!!! You've picked a great place to start.

Just by making that 1st post is a huge start. I'm pretty new here ( 31 days), But my suggestions would be...

1- just don't pick up that 1st drink
2-call your doctor, the combo of Lexapro and booze and the increased symptoms, you very well may need a medically supervised detox and/or a different med.
3-keep coming back, read, read, read, and write write write.

It can be done.

I wish you all the best.

least

It sounds so simple, yet so complicated: don't pick up that first drink. Put it off one hour, two hours, one day... and keep going that way. It's hard at first but it does get easier. It might help to keep you from picking up that first drink if you make a list of all the things you hate about drinking, all the negatives. Good luck to you!



Please do talk with your doctor. Be safe while detoxing.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I think the disease of addiction turns us into people we really don't want to be. I'm glad you're seeking help. And, do talk to your dr about the drinking and the medication and the side-effects you're experiencing. Detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous.

I hope you will keep reading and posting.

Jakey

Welcome stoner! I can relate to a lot of what you posted. I was also a binge drinker who did and said things while drunk/blacked out that I would never do or say sober. And like you I don't really think AA is for me.

This forum can be a huge help though if you let it. 16 days clean for me and I owe a lot to this place and the great people on here.

NYDogGuy

I have struggled with alcohol for years. While I haven't been in much legal trouble throughout my life, everytime I have it has been the result of alcohol. I quit for a few weeks at a time, but everytime I do, I feel as if I have found a way to keep the drinking under control. I've been able to manipulate doctors into false diagnosis' in order to protect my drinking. I constantly lie about a multitude of things in order to avoid confrontation about my drinking. My parents hate that I drink, so I avoid doing it around them, but that doesn't mean I don't want a drink. I am by nature a shy person, but I open up after a couple of beers. This is viewed as funny by my friends, but seen as a problem by family. I have tried AA, but found the group to be too pushy about religion and the fact that many of them attended 5 or more meetings a day made me think they just traded alcohol for meetings. I have a job and a life, so I can't realistically go to 5 meetings a day. As a teenager, I was diagnosed with ADD, but the medication made me feel like a zombie. I don't want to drink, but I can't calm down without alcohol. I have two speeds without alcohol. Full throttle and park. Weeks that I don't drink, I come home, eat, shower and go to bed. If I do drink, I am productive around the house and can wind down slowly. I know this site cannot give medical advice, but if anyone has dealt with anything like this and has any advice as far a different ways to calm down without alcohol, I am a open to any suggestions.

every1surf

LOVE yourself enough to quit.

I am right here with you... I am only 3 days without drinking, and while my drinking was not that often, it was intense...blacking out everytime. I ruined my relationship with so many friends and have lost all self respect.

I have found that I have to learn to love myself enough to say I am done.
We have to say goodbye to the countless mistakes we have made while drinking and hello to a clear view of life.

I am NO WHERE near being recovered... my journey has just started, but I am excited to see where my sobriety leads me!


love life.
bdc