Some thoughts from my weekend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 68
Some thoughts from my weekend
Not quite sure why I'm posting other than to get this off my chest, and maybe it will help someone else ... This was a really tough weekend for me. I'm a huge animal lover, with both dogs & cats at home. One of my older cats, *******, who has been fighting kidney disease for 4 years, took a sudden turn for the worse last Thursday, and after a full day of heroic measures at the vet's on Friday, took another dramatic downturn on Saturday, and I had to make the kind, yet awful, choice to let him go & be in peace. My AH & I are separated, but I called him when I was at the vet's so he could come & say good-bye. Although he never took the time to bond with *******, I thought it was only fair let him make his peace with *******. My AH was very supportive & drove me home where I asked to be left alone for the day to process what happened. He respected my wishes & left me to my grieving. He called me several times later in the day to check on me & each time asked if I wanted to go out for a drink to toast *******. In the past, I would have agreed, to make HIM feel better (not me), but this time, I said "no" each time & got the time & peace I needed with just me & my other pets. Although this weeekend was very hard for me, I'm proud of myself for doing what I thought was best for ******* and best for me to handle his passing. It also made me realize once again how short life really is & that you never know what's around the corner & hammered home for me that I'm ready to start determining what will make me happy for the rest of the life that lays ahead for me.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
As an animal lover and having several dogs and cats myself, I understand how difficult that decision was for you. I have several elderly dogs in my home, and an FIV+ cat who has been amazingly asymptomatic for years and is now around 14 years old.
I am so sorry for your loss. :ghug :ghug
I am so sorry for your loss. :ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
catsdogs,
I have my own pack/pride here, and went through this with my sweetest cat last year, my one gentle soul of the whole bunch. Sending you hugs and support right now.
It always amazes me how the alcohol culture sees everything as an occasion for drinking. "Let's go out and ingest a bunch of depressants to honor *******" Yeah, I'm sure that would've been swell.
Lighting a candle on my shelf for ******* tonight, no liquor required...
Hugs,
GL
I have my own pack/pride here, and went through this with my sweetest cat last year, my one gentle soul of the whole bunch. Sending you hugs and support right now.
It always amazes me how the alcohol culture sees everything as an occasion for drinking. "Let's go out and ingest a bunch of depressants to honor *******" Yeah, I'm sure that would've been swell.
Lighting a candle on my shelf for ******* tonight, no liquor required...
Hugs,
GL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
I can imagine how hard it must be for you to go through losing ******* and staying strong as regards your separated AH.
My heart goes out to you and the rest of your animal family tonight, as you miss YOUR sweet *******.
My heart goes out to you and the rest of your animal family tonight, as you miss YOUR sweet *******.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 68
Thank you all for you kind words of support. They mean a lot to me. Interestingly enough, in my daily book of meditations (Melody Beattie's Letting Go), today's entry was about realizing it's OK to ask for help. That's always been tough for me, and I realize my post yesterday was my way of asking for help & support through a difficult time. Thank you all for being there for all of us going through our trials & tribulations (alcohol-related or not.)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 74
I am so sorry for your loss of sweet *******. I know he was a very special animal. I won't claim authorship of the following, a dear friend sent it to me once.
When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey. A journey that will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet will also test your strength and courage. If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about yourself, and most of all, about love.
You will come away changed forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark. Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple pleasures --jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles, and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.
If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined, no rustling bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information.
Your pace may be slower, except when heading home to the food dish, but you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an expert in the field. Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the details: the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig.
Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole new world. We stop; we
browse the landscape; we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all around. And we learn what any dog knows that nature has created a marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own.
Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world around you. You will find yourself watching: summer insects collecting on a screen; how bizarre they are; how many kinds there are or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark. You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or sniff the air after a rain. It does not matter that - there is no objective in this: the point is in the doing, in not letting life's most important details slip by.
You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your pet enjoys the ride. You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewie toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run around the house trailing your bathrobe tie with a cat in hot pursuit, all in the name of love.
Your house will become muddier and hairier! You will wear less dark clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in your pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the crinkly sound. You will learn the true measure of love. The steadfast, undying kind that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how life treats us as long as we are together."
Respect this always. It is the most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find it often among the human race. And you will learn humility. The look in my dog's eyes often made me feel ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw not some flawed human who could be cross and stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and so chose to love me anyway.
If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will be not just a better person, but the person your pet always knew you to be. The one they were proud to call beloved friend.
I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like all paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to let them go.
A pet's time on earth is far too short, especially for those that love them. We borrow them, really, just for a while, and during these brief years they are generous enough to give us all their love, every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is nothing left.
The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless energy now wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle gone to gray. Deep down we somehow always knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken. But give them we must for it is all they ask in return.
When the time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead, young and whole once more. "God speed, good friend," we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross again.
When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey. A journey that will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet will also test your strength and courage. If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about yourself, and most of all, about love.
You will come away changed forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark. Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple pleasures --jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles, and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.
If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined, no rustling bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information.
Your pace may be slower, except when heading home to the food dish, but you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an expert in the field. Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the details: the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig.
Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole new world. We stop; we
browse the landscape; we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all around. And we learn what any dog knows that nature has created a marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own.
Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world around you. You will find yourself watching: summer insects collecting on a screen; how bizarre they are; how many kinds there are or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark. You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or sniff the air after a rain. It does not matter that - there is no objective in this: the point is in the doing, in not letting life's most important details slip by.
You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your pet enjoys the ride. You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewie toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run around the house trailing your bathrobe tie with a cat in hot pursuit, all in the name of love.
Your house will become muddier and hairier! You will wear less dark clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in your pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the crinkly sound. You will learn the true measure of love. The steadfast, undying kind that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how life treats us as long as we are together."
Respect this always. It is the most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find it often among the human race. And you will learn humility. The look in my dog's eyes often made me feel ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw not some flawed human who could be cross and stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and so chose to love me anyway.
If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will be not just a better person, but the person your pet always knew you to be. The one they were proud to call beloved friend.
I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like all paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to let them go.
A pet's time on earth is far too short, especially for those that love them. We borrow them, really, just for a while, and during these brief years they are generous enough to give us all their love, every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is nothing left.
The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless energy now wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle gone to gray. Deep down we somehow always knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken. But give them we must for it is all they ask in return.
When the time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead, young and whole once more. "God speed, good friend," we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross again.
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