Is This Truley Addiction HELP!!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Is This Truley Addiction HELP!!!!!
I transferred my info from another website that I am a active member on......
I wanted my story to be told here but to add to it now my husband saying that he is only a alcoholic. He left for work on Sat at 4 am and he has been gone ever since. No calls at all. This time I didnt even call his cell phone I am soo fed up. The only difference is that this time he did take some money from our account but all charges were at various liquor stores. I have seen my husband drunk before but, the way he's been lately is beyond drinking......... His pupils are dilated too. HERES MY STORY......
Hi, I am sooo broken!!!!! First I know NOTHING about drugs.I think my husband is using COCAINE!!!!I have been married for nine years and have accomplished so much with my husband. Everything hasn't always been picture pefect but, it hasn't been bad either. Well last November my husband switched companies after being with his last company for 9 years. We thought that it was a positive move and were really excited. He started a new management position.I actually have been in the teaching profession for 13 years and we both have worked hard to get where we are today.
Well after being with his company for three months they began to hire some new people. So, in January of 2008 a new group of people were hired. Let me cut to the chase, there was a girl that was hired in this group and her phone number started to appear in every telephone bill. So, me being curious called the number back. Her mom gave me some information and stated that her daughter had nothing annd would only cause trouble. She stated that the next time she saw my husband she would let him know the real deal. Well she saw him and let him know. But, her daughter immediately cursed her out. Now at this point my husband has started to act bizarre. He came in one night crying saying that he was going to lose his job and his family. I told how can that happend, what did you do? No response. Then, he would come home almost everyday crying. This is a man I have known for 20 years and I have only seen him cry twice.
Now fast foward, I finally got fed up with the phone calls after confronted him numerous times and I became Private Eye. I linked a address to the phone number and one night when it was really late and he was MIA I went over to the house and started his car. He came out immediately at this point I still was thinking this was only an affair. Then she called me one day because she was contemplating getting a restaining order because she was scared I was going to come after her........ She said even if your husband doesn't do what you say he's going to do what I say.... She told me he crashes on their couch after work, and she tells him when he can and can't pick up his children........i found this bizarre ... But to make a long story short the woman began to harass me on a daily basis first she said they were only friend then that they were having an affair. Still never admitting the cocaine use. He began getting sinus infections and sore throats constantly. He started coming in later and then slowly started missing for the weekend and his ooff days. They girl would sit outside of our house... Until eventually I got a restraining order. He comes in the house so out of it sometimes and what makes me believe it is cocaine is that he said that a person on cocaine can function normally. WOW where did that come from this has never been a topic of discussion in our household. I wish I could explain this to someone over the phone I really need to talk badddddd and to get the main details in is really had when writing. He is starting to look bad and the LIES are incredible. He says he's going to the store and he returns hours or even days later. If it was just an affair he make enough money he could just move out. I can support me and our kids. Did I mention we have a 2 and 8 year old..... I have rode this wave for 9 month and I think it's time to get off. My family is tired his family is in denial and I don't know where to turn. I sometimes think that he is being threatened by her and her family. OR it could be the paranoia.... He even hid his car during his vacation. If he was so in love I was at work during his vacation and this was the perfect opportunity for him to be with her 24/7. But, instead he hid.
She texts him at lease 30 times daily and you tell me thats love. WHO does this at 40 years old???????????????? Who has the time.......
Fast foward again.... This isn't really about her. I finally realized that recently. My husband comes in and he crashes. At times we can't even wake him up. He hasn'yt lost weight but, he doesn't eat like he use to. He is 6'3 260 pounds. Why? would he be sleeping out in his car when we have 5 bedrooms... This makes no sense to me. He keeps denying being on drugs at all.I stay up late nights worrying about him to the point where is starting to bother my health. I am a strong woman but, sometimes I need to cry. Please there is sooooo much more to this story can someone please answer me plea.................Thank You
I wanted my story to be told here but to add to it now my husband saying that he is only a alcoholic. He left for work on Sat at 4 am and he has been gone ever since. No calls at all. This time I didnt even call his cell phone I am soo fed up. The only difference is that this time he did take some money from our account but all charges were at various liquor stores. I have seen my husband drunk before but, the way he's been lately is beyond drinking......... His pupils are dilated too. HERES MY STORY......
Hi, I am sooo broken!!!!! First I know NOTHING about drugs.I think my husband is using COCAINE!!!!I have been married for nine years and have accomplished so much with my husband. Everything hasn't always been picture pefect but, it hasn't been bad either. Well last November my husband switched companies after being with his last company for 9 years. We thought that it was a positive move and were really excited. He started a new management position.I actually have been in the teaching profession for 13 years and we both have worked hard to get where we are today.
Well after being with his company for three months they began to hire some new people. So, in January of 2008 a new group of people were hired. Let me cut to the chase, there was a girl that was hired in this group and her phone number started to appear in every telephone bill. So, me being curious called the number back. Her mom gave me some information and stated that her daughter had nothing annd would only cause trouble. She stated that the next time she saw my husband she would let him know the real deal. Well she saw him and let him know. But, her daughter immediately cursed her out. Now at this point my husband has started to act bizarre. He came in one night crying saying that he was going to lose his job and his family. I told how can that happend, what did you do? No response. Then, he would come home almost everyday crying. This is a man I have known for 20 years and I have only seen him cry twice.
Now fast foward, I finally got fed up with the phone calls after confronted him numerous times and I became Private Eye. I linked a address to the phone number and one night when it was really late and he was MIA I went over to the house and started his car. He came out immediately at this point I still was thinking this was only an affair. Then she called me one day because she was contemplating getting a restaining order because she was scared I was going to come after her........ She said even if your husband doesn't do what you say he's going to do what I say.... She told me he crashes on their couch after work, and she tells him when he can and can't pick up his children........i found this bizarre ... But to make a long story short the woman began to harass me on a daily basis first she said they were only friend then that they were having an affair. Still never admitting the cocaine use. He began getting sinus infections and sore throats constantly. He started coming in later and then slowly started missing for the weekend and his ooff days. They girl would sit outside of our house... Until eventually I got a restraining order. He comes in the house so out of it sometimes and what makes me believe it is cocaine is that he said that a person on cocaine can function normally. WOW where did that come from this has never been a topic of discussion in our household. I wish I could explain this to someone over the phone I really need to talk badddddd and to get the main details in is really had when writing. He is starting to look bad and the LIES are incredible. He says he's going to the store and he returns hours or even days later. If it was just an affair he make enough money he could just move out. I can support me and our kids. Did I mention we have a 2 and 8 year old..... I have rode this wave for 9 month and I think it's time to get off. My family is tired his family is in denial and I don't know where to turn. I sometimes think that he is being threatened by her and her family. OR it could be the paranoia.... He even hid his car during his vacation. If he was so in love I was at work during his vacation and this was the perfect opportunity for him to be with her 24/7. But, instead he hid.
She texts him at lease 30 times daily and you tell me thats love. WHO does this at 40 years old???????????????? Who has the time.......
Fast foward again.... This isn't really about her. I finally realized that recently. My husband comes in and he crashes. At times we can't even wake him up. He hasn'yt lost weight but, he doesn't eat like he use to. He is 6'3 260 pounds. Why? would he be sleeping out in his car when we have 5 bedrooms... This makes no sense to me. He keeps denying being on drugs at all.I stay up late nights worrying about him to the point where is starting to bother my health. I am a strong woman but, sometimes I need to cry. Please there is sooooo much more to this story can someone please answer me plea.................Thank You
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
only a alcoholic
Whatever drugs your husband is using, does it really matter? He is acting strange, disappearing and disrespecting your marriage vows, your children, your home and you. Look at what he is doing, not what he is saying.
Once I took the focus off things I couldn't control (what he was doing), and put it on things I could control (how I was going to respond), I started to feel better.
The serenity prayer helps:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (him & his behavior)
The courage to change the things I can (me and my behavior)
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Keep reading and posting. There are many wise people on this site who can relate to your story and your pain. And it's ok to cry. It hurts. Let it out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Regardless of the substance of abuse (alcohol, cocaine, etc), addiction is a horrible disease.
It's like a tornado that sucks everything up lying within its path.
I would strongly encourage you to reach out for help, whether it's attending Alanon or counseling. Addiction damages everyone who comes in contact with it.
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic, but I was also married to one, and I was certifiably crazy. He would disappear for days on end. I was always playing detective, I would obsess constantly on what he was doing, and was never there for my oldest daughter. It was a horrible way to live.
:ghug :ghug
It's like a tornado that sucks everything up lying within its path.
I would strongly encourage you to reach out for help, whether it's attending Alanon or counseling. Addiction damages everyone who comes in contact with it.
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic, but I was also married to one, and I was certifiably crazy. He would disappear for days on end. I was always playing detective, I would obsess constantly on what he was doing, and was never there for my oldest daughter. It was a horrible way to live.
:ghug :ghug
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Well it seems as though he has really played me. Hello-Kitty my mother has told me those same words.
Also it's funny how when women are addicts they can still come home but, men have stay gone for days in and out. Somehow I really believe that this woman is his dealer and they had to get me to believe that they were in a relationship because I was getting too close to the truth. Luckily if she is his CW or dealer the restraining order is for 3 years!!!!!
Also it's funny how when women are addicts they can still come home but, men have stay gone for days in and out. Somehow I really believe that this woman is his dealer and they had to get me to believe that they were in a relationship because I was getting too close to the truth. Luckily if she is his CW or dealer the restraining order is for 3 years!!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Also it's funny how when women are addicts they can still come home
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
I told you it's a never ending story. This past weekend as I stated my husband was out NO CALLS or contact. On Monday @ 3 I get a text that says "want me to go get a tree". Thats it thats all. He didn't say how are you? How are the kids? NOTHING........ Now tell me is there something wrong with this picture..... He texted me the same message 4 times. Then when I didn't respond he called 7 times. He used his ATM 8 times for peety amounts at a liquor store near this girls house. He wants me to believe taht he is just an alcoholic... But, I know that this is only slightly true. I have never seen anything like this in my 36 years here. Now I was almost sure he was on drugs when this all started but, now he's making me feel like I'm crazy. The ladies from his job are saying that he is just in love with one of his old employees that quit to save his job. My husband has came home with his pupils dilated and looked really greasy. He has worn the same clothes for 3 and 4 days without changing and most of all his unaccounted for time and neglect of our children. My husband had all girls and now 2 years ago we finally had a boy and he neglects him (no time or hair cuts).
I called my husbands cellphone one night to tell him our son had a fever of 103 and she picked up and said he was busy. Now at this point I already have a restraining order on this girl and she's answering a cellphone that is in my name. BOLD RIGHT!!!!! I know it would be easy to take things into my own hands but, I have tooooo much to loose and I'm classier than that
It seems like nothing matters to him anymore. On Thanksgiving he announced that he has his own apartment and didn't want me anymore isn't that funny. He's been coming home everyday since except this weekend. He know that I want him out because I'm tired of the lies and the unanswered treats of leaving. I am in the process of filing for legal seperation. My husband begs this girl to pleaseeeee pick up her phone. Now I've known him 29 years and he actually has 3 other children and he begs no one. The one bizarre thing is that no real significant money is missing. Nothing from around the house at all. But, this girl is an escort and she give him whatever he wants. But, please realize that he doesn't have any new clothes shoes, jewlery, or things of substance. I was told at one point she was giving him 500-2000 a week! My response to that was we make more than that on our paychecks weekly why does he care about the money. Then a light came on that my husband is really cheap and he doesn't want to spend his own money. CAn addict seperate the two. The girl told me I don't know why you get soo madddddd he doesn't spend any of the money out of your house. Can this just be an affair. He has to ask permission from her to do anything. She checks his voicemails and gets mad if he doesn't tell her everything I say. So, now I don't talk to him at all really. I swear it seems like he has been VOODOOED. My husband has shut his mother, sisters, brother, cousins, kids, and me out of his life.... IS THIS JUST AN AFFAIR or is my intuition right!
I spoke with her mother and she stated that her daughter had been on drugs before. Well I told her that my husband didn't act like this before meeting her daughter. She said that she didn't know if her daughter was using again. Please help! All opinions and experiences are appreciated!!!!
I called my husbands cellphone one night to tell him our son had a fever of 103 and she picked up and said he was busy. Now at this point I already have a restraining order on this girl and she's answering a cellphone that is in my name. BOLD RIGHT!!!!! I know it would be easy to take things into my own hands but, I have tooooo much to loose and I'm classier than that
It seems like nothing matters to him anymore. On Thanksgiving he announced that he has his own apartment and didn't want me anymore isn't that funny. He's been coming home everyday since except this weekend. He know that I want him out because I'm tired of the lies and the unanswered treats of leaving. I am in the process of filing for legal seperation. My husband begs this girl to pleaseeeee pick up her phone. Now I've known him 29 years and he actually has 3 other children and he begs no one. The one bizarre thing is that no real significant money is missing. Nothing from around the house at all. But, this girl is an escort and she give him whatever he wants. But, please realize that he doesn't have any new clothes shoes, jewlery, or things of substance. I was told at one point she was giving him 500-2000 a week! My response to that was we make more than that on our paychecks weekly why does he care about the money. Then a light came on that my husband is really cheap and he doesn't want to spend his own money. CAn addict seperate the two. The girl told me I don't know why you get soo madddddd he doesn't spend any of the money out of your house. Can this just be an affair. He has to ask permission from her to do anything. She checks his voicemails and gets mad if he doesn't tell her everything I say. So, now I don't talk to him at all really. I swear it seems like he has been VOODOOED. My husband has shut his mother, sisters, brother, cousins, kids, and me out of his life.... IS THIS JUST AN AFFAIR or is my intuition right!
I spoke with her mother and she stated that her daughter had been on drugs before. Well I told her that my husband didn't act like this before meeting her daughter. She said that she didn't know if her daughter was using again. Please help! All opinions and experiences are appreciated!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Sounds like you are on the right track with the legal separation. Do what you need to do to protect your family. Whatever it takes. Escorts and drug users don't have to be part of your life unless you choose to engage them. I know it's hard, but limit your contact. You may not be able to make him move but you can stop calling him when he's gone. You can stop expecting him to be a responsible engaged father who cares about his kids. You can stop talking to the escort and her mother.
Acceptance is tough. Focus on you and what you need to do. Not him and the crazies around him. You can get your serenity back. Even with him in the house. But warning. Even though he hasn't stolen yet, that doesn't mean he won't. I guess what I'm saying is hide the Xmas presents...
I'm sorry. I hate being so negative but it's my experience. Focus on what is. And what you can do. That's how you will survive this.
Have you tried alanon? face to face support can be so helpful in situations like this. You are not alone. Many people have been through what you have been through.
Acceptance is tough. Focus on you and what you need to do. Not him and the crazies around him. You can get your serenity back. Even with him in the house. But warning. Even though he hasn't stolen yet, that doesn't mean he won't. I guess what I'm saying is hide the Xmas presents...
I'm sorry. I hate being so negative but it's my experience. Focus on what is. And what you can do. That's how you will survive this.
Have you tried alanon? face to face support can be so helpful in situations like this. You are not alone. Many people have been through what you have been through.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
What does he have to lose if he drains your bank accounts and fires up the ole credit cards? That he has not yet, does not mean he won't tomorrow. California is a community debt state.
Please take action to reasonably protect your financial assets.
Please take action to reasonably protect your financial assets.
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