I'm back!
Ending the Old Me.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
I'm back!
Hi everyone, old and new, I'm back and ready for a new sober life.
It was about this time last year that I found SR, now I know I'm ready to get serious about being sober. I wasted the past year trying it my way, only to loose more and more control.
It's a long story but to make it short, I had a moment of clarity. I didn't drink Thur/Fri, mainly because I was too hung over. I spent the time reading the BB, I mean really reading it and taking it to heart. Then I got drunk yesterday and I knew it would be my last time ever. While drinking, I called a friend I met in AA last year and then called my wife, who was away watching our friends children.
I told them I was ready, I just can't live like this anymore. We had some good conversations and even though I'm hung over, I'm in a good mood. No remorse, no feelings of guilt because I know that I will never have to feel that way again. I've completely given up; it wasn't how often I drank or what, it was how much I drank when I did. I have no control when I do drink.
I asked both of them for help and I did something I've never done before, I prayed for help. So even though I don't feel so good at the moment, my spirit is really high.
I know the next few days will be rough but I'm ready for it. All the booze in the house is already down the drain. I'm drinking tea, reading the BB, meeting my friend from AA in a few hours and going to a meeting tonight.
I'm so ready for this. I know there is a better life and I want it. I want to be a better husband, father and person.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble and thanks for having me back.
It was about this time last year that I found SR, now I know I'm ready to get serious about being sober. I wasted the past year trying it my way, only to loose more and more control.
It's a long story but to make it short, I had a moment of clarity. I didn't drink Thur/Fri, mainly because I was too hung over. I spent the time reading the BB, I mean really reading it and taking it to heart. Then I got drunk yesterday and I knew it would be my last time ever. While drinking, I called a friend I met in AA last year and then called my wife, who was away watching our friends children.
I told them I was ready, I just can't live like this anymore. We had some good conversations and even though I'm hung over, I'm in a good mood. No remorse, no feelings of guilt because I know that I will never have to feel that way again. I've completely given up; it wasn't how often I drank or what, it was how much I drank when I did. I have no control when I do drink.
I asked both of them for help and I did something I've never done before, I prayed for help. So even though I don't feel so good at the moment, my spirit is really high.
I know the next few days will be rough but I'm ready for it. All the booze in the house is already down the drain. I'm drinking tea, reading the BB, meeting my friend from AA in a few hours and going to a meeting tonight.
I'm so ready for this. I know there is a better life and I want it. I want to be a better husband, father and person.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble and thanks for having me back.
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Welcome back Omega Man.
I was in the same spot you are in now when I found SR in January of this year. You sound exactly like me when I was reading your posts and sharing in the 2 weeks and under thread back then. I'm happy to hear what your doing because it is so much where I was at and I haven't had a drink since. I did get a sponsor a few days before I sobered up and found SR so I hope you can find somebody with the right kind of sobriety to help you through these early days.
Your support was a big part of why I stayed here at SR and you are a part of my sobriety. I will do anything I can to help you stay sober. Ultimately it is between you and your higher power. My HP is my foundation of sobriety with the help of the people here, AA and the 12 step program found in the BB.
PM anytime.
I was in the same spot you are in now when I found SR in January of this year. You sound exactly like me when I was reading your posts and sharing in the 2 weeks and under thread back then. I'm happy to hear what your doing because it is so much where I was at and I haven't had a drink since. I did get a sponsor a few days before I sobered up and found SR so I hope you can find somebody with the right kind of sobriety to help you through these early days.
Your support was a big part of why I stayed here at SR and you are a part of my sobriety. I will do anything I can to help you stay sober. Ultimately it is between you and your higher power. My HP is my foundation of sobriety with the help of the people here, AA and the 12 step program found in the BB.
PM anytime.
Ending the Old Me.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Thanks Dean and everyone else for the welcome back.
I'm not sure exactly what happened but I'm not going to question it. All I know is that for some reason, in the middle of a drinking session, I called my wife and said "I'm an Alcoholic and I need help" and I did the same with a buddy from AA I met in some meetings last yr.
I've said "I'm an alcoholic" before in AA meetings but I never really took it to heart. It was just easier to say and not stand out in the meetings, if you know what I mean. I was still in denial and the fear that I could never drink again; the thought of that just scared the S#%$ of me.
Now I know that I am a full blown, helpless drunk and I can never drink again if I want to keep what I have and lead a better life.
I've been messing around the past yr trying it my way, 30 days sober ("see, you don't have a problem"), drinking daily, 7 days sober, 3 wk binge, etc.
I tried everything and nothing worked. Eventually, I would slip and end up completely hammered. I have no control over how much I drink after I pick up that first one. I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL, I know it now and I accept it, so I'm turning this one over to someone else. It's more than I can handle alone and I need help.
It's a gigantic step for me, to admit failure, a lack of power but at least I feel great emotionally, if not physically at the moment.
So happy to be back here for the support and help that I need.
I'm not sure exactly what happened but I'm not going to question it. All I know is that for some reason, in the middle of a drinking session, I called my wife and said "I'm an Alcoholic and I need help" and I did the same with a buddy from AA I met in some meetings last yr.
I've said "I'm an alcoholic" before in AA meetings but I never really took it to heart. It was just easier to say and not stand out in the meetings, if you know what I mean. I was still in denial and the fear that I could never drink again; the thought of that just scared the S#%$ of me.
Now I know that I am a full blown, helpless drunk and I can never drink again if I want to keep what I have and lead a better life.
I've been messing around the past yr trying it my way, 30 days sober ("see, you don't have a problem"), drinking daily, 7 days sober, 3 wk binge, etc.
I tried everything and nothing worked. Eventually, I would slip and end up completely hammered. I have no control over how much I drink after I pick up that first one. I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL, I know it now and I accept it, so I'm turning this one over to someone else. It's more than I can handle alone and I need help.
It's a gigantic step for me, to admit failure, a lack of power but at least I feel great emotionally, if not physically at the moment.
So happy to be back here for the support and help that I need.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Born in Long Island NY/Mtns of N.C Is my home now
Posts: 405
Now that you have admitted it the hard work begins, it was tuff for me but in reflection worth every moment. On the plus side it does get better, i went the route of AA not for everyone but it is working for me, find your peace and sobriety where ever it may be.
Take care,
John
Take care,
John
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