sicilia1414

Hi everyone,

I am on day six, and have not left my house except to go to work and an AA meeting. This is my first weekend sober in years, and I am petrified to leave my house. I don't want to go to the store, I don't want to go to a friends house, I don't want to do anything that will stress me out and make me want a drink.

is that normal or am I just beeing a big wuss?

Anna

I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing.

I was pretty careful in early recovery, and I had to learn how to say "No".

Horselover

I agree. In early recovery you do what you are comfortable with and nothing more. Whatever gets you through the day.

Dee74

It's pretty normal

we all have to roadtest ourselves and rejoin the world - but 6 days is very early in the process - go easy on yourself

D

findingkermit

Hi sicilia,

What you are feeling is completely normal, and I can sympathise...... But (hehe there is always a but lol)

It dosen't have to be a bad thing does it? It is your brain & gut keeping you safe, it's your way of taking care of what you need to succeed right at this point.

Can you turn it into a possitive, can you believe you are more in touch with what you need to do now, that's a good thing right?

What if you could enjoy the next few days just being quiet and enjoying your own company, relax, order in, watch some movies, have a long hot bath, read a good book..... no stress from outside, or other people, just quiet you time.

You will get through this, everything that happens can either be seen as a negative thing, or we can chose to turn it into a possitive healing thing.

Huge hugs to you, and there are plenty of us here all the time if you need a chat :ghug3

sicilia1414

Thanks guys for the responses...I guess you are right. I just find myself sitting here and then I read stores from Jake about how he went out last night, and is going out tonight, and then about kermit having a bbq today...and i start to feel like a big 'ol wimp.

I had plans for a friends bday tonight but i cancelled. I have done nothing but sit at home all day and watch tv, and been online. I kinda have been freaking out thinking..what if i turn into this hermit and can't leave my house? what if i turn out to be this big wimp that can't handle life without alcohol? Just all these what if's that have been running thru my head.

I know to take it one day at a time, but I guess I am just getting a little freaked out tonight by the whole thing.

Anna

Sicilia,

For what it's worth, I was really cautious too.

I definitely couldn't be around alcohol at all, for quite awhile after I stopped drinking.

Just be proud of how you're doing and you'll be fine.

findingkermit

sicilia, I only went out last night because I had my husband and miss 19 with me as support, they just about never drink and would never have one unless I said I felt o.k with it, the friends place I went to have known about my alcoholism for a very long time, and only drank one beer each to toast our birthdays and then put it away... they said they didn't feel like drinking, but I know they did it for me, and I love them so much for it.

So you see it was different, I was going into a situation where I knew I'd be safe and I had so much support.

When I quit last year for 6 weeks, I didn't dare go anywhere for abot two weeks or more, I was petrified, that's when I figured it was a good thing, that deep inside I knew I needed the space, the quiet, and no stress, so I went with it, it goes away.

Every day is different, all we can do is go with what is going on for that particular day, or hour.

You are doing so well, you should be very proud of yourself!!!

sicilia1414

Thank you all, I just feel so unproductive! I guess that is my personality, I am very much an extremist.

I want to conquer the world overnight.

I will continue to go with it, maybe next weekend I will take babysteps and go to the mall or to starbucks for some coffee and read out of my big book.

Kerm, again i am so proud of you for going out and not drinking, that is so amazing to me.

doorknob

You'll get back out there. Take your time and be kind to yourself (advice I've never been good at taking, lol).

Rusty Zipper

si, the work and effort one puts into early recovery, paves the road to ones future in recovery...

IMO, stay'n home aint such a bad idea...

and if ya get antsy, hop on here, or call someone in recovery...

good wishes si

Anna

I was totally impatient too, but I 'knew' that I had to take things slowly and on my terms.

Jakey

You are just being smart. I shouldn't have gone out last night and probably shouldn't be going to the game and tailgate party tomorrow either. Just keep doing what is working for you. I am a mess right now so definitely don't follow my lead...

Hope

Definitely normal.

Just be gentle with yourself. You are transforming into a butterfly and you're coming out of the shell of your old life and into a new life. It is all a process. And you do what you have to do to take care of yourself along the way.

coffeenut

You're okay. Really. Like others have said, be gentle with yourself. Early sobriety has no rules, you make your own.

Welcome to SR.

Tryingto

Well I have to confess. We have done pretty much nothing all weekend. Just sat around the house. I feel to scared to go out. Alcohol will be every where. Home sort of feels like my "safe haven" at the moment, and you wouldn't believe this but I have a decent amount of alcohol in my house. I could get drunk if I CHOSE to. But my computer (and you all!) are in my home also, and my partner is here to support me, and my son is here to tell me he loves me.......so I can keep my distance from the alcohol.
I am afraid if I go out ............ it won't stay this way.

At the moment I am happy at home, I am not missing going out and I just know in my heart I am far from ready. Tomorrow is day 6, and I am so looking forward to having a whole entire week alcohol free, just right now, thats my focus.

I understand your fear of going out Sicilia.

Anodyne

No, it is not wrong to take yourself out.
It's just how things are.

Just make sure it is only people of like mind who end up going with you.

Fulldresser4

Hi, and welcome!! I only have just over 90 days (third time, but I GET IT this time) so I don't have a lot of esh. I would only tell you this...examine your motives for staying home. I did the same thing too, but I would go to one if not two meetings a day for the first 60 days. I think I got in way over 100 meetings the first 60 days but only because I am laid off. I say examine your motives because I am an isolator, and that is the last thing I need right now. I have a tendency to let the squirrel cage get going and keep going, but I have learned to pick up the phone and talk to friends in recovery. I never thought that possible but you will find friends that are unbelievably loving and supportive, and understand!

The other thing I wanted to comment on was your statement that you want to conquer the world overnight. Me too Sister...I figured I could do the steps in a few months and be all better and it so doesn't work that way. I struggle with the idea that I am not the general manager of the universe, and patience...I am learning, but I do know that it is now truly one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. But I find that the more I get out of the way and let God do His will instead of trying to do mine, my life goes a whole lot smoother.

Annie

least

I agree: be gentle and kind with yourself. YOu're very early in recovery and it may take some time before you feel comfortable going out in public. Congrats on six days sober!

Mariposa18

Sicilia~ I understand how you feel Hon. I think when we are in early recovery we really need to do what's best for us and what we feel comfortable with. I feel that way too, like I'm being completely unproductive. But you're healing and soon you'll feel up to going out and able to better control these situations.

Hubby and I have gotten invited to about 4 Holiday parties already. We've said yes to 0! I feel like it looks like I"m being anti-social, but I don't feel comfortable at other peoples parties around a bunch of people that I know but I'm not friends with, kwim? If we are hanging out with just another couple it's not an issue, but too many people around and I get antsy. I mean it happened yesterday and my Son's party and that was FAMILY! Strangers and Anxiety? Not a good combo, so I'm staying home~

You'll be okay Sweetie and you know we are all here for you to help you through this =) :ghug3