CNMC2C

Was informed a couple of days ago that my EXABF whom I officially went no contact with on Sept 24th announced to some of our mutual friends that he is engaged to a lady from Washington that he met in October and he will either be relocating to Washington or she and her 2 kids will relocate to Colorado once they are married. We split up 3 months ago...the man moves fast....because during the first month of our parting ways he was still dating the waitress who works at one of his favorite bars with whom he was cheating on me with while we were still together(his cheating on me with this person while we were together was confirmed, hence the no contact starting on Sept 24th). I was in such a state of shock and anger yesterday that no matter what I tried to do to detach, remember that what he does is none of my business, and refocus on myself....I couldn't. I was so mad that once again...he is doing everything in his power to avoid dealing with any of his problems and is once again avoiding moving to Texas to be with his 3 kids from his 2nd marriage. I was so angry last night that I almost called him to tell him he was insane to be bringing 3 more innocent people into his insane alcoholic world when he knows that he is toxic (he admitted that to me before I left him). I still am in shock at how this man continually gets away with every bad thing that he does. The bad news is....I let myself get brought back into his drama. The good news is....I didn't call him and went to an Al-Anon meeting this morning to try to puts things into perspective...which it always does. My new found perspective is that what he does is none of my business and by me interfering in anyway keeps him from suffering the consequences of his actions. Like you all say on here....Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes. Thanks for listening.

cassandra2

Glad you were able to refocus and headed to a meeting....

Good for you look at it as growth.....

Stubborn1

Glad you realize it's none of your business. On to better things.........

ToughChoices

Oh, to be free from the chaos of that man's life!
What a gift!

I'm glad that you are able to appreciate the preciousness of your own sanity - It is so easy to slip back into the craziness.

Great work!
-TC

veryrestless722

just be glad hes the other womans problem and not yours anymore, she'll learn her lesson with him soon enough, a zebra doesnt change their stripes!

GiveLove

CNMC2C,

Nice job! Focusing on your own side of the street, and on what YOU can control, is always a better plan. Oh, but do I ever know about those days where it just doesn't seem possible to get back to that serenity.
Glad you got there eventually.
:ghug3

kingston

Kudos to you! This is definitely not your problem, it's his and soon be her's.

I thank my HP every day that my life is not full of chaos and drama that living with a AH brings.

K.

Mair

Such a blessing in disguise for you. Keep strong the anger will subside in time.

Gill