Living one day and having the desire
Living one day and having the desire
I've heard of taking it one day at a time. But, how is that done? My brain defeats me with tomorrow. Also, is having the desire to have the desire enough to stop? Or am I just kidding myself. It wasn't enough for today.
Personally, I do think you have to have the desire, but you need a LOT of motivation. I know how hard it is to keep the thoughts of tomorrow and yesterday out of your mind. Try whatever it takes to keep focused on the moment. Music helped me and so did exercise.
Please know that you can do this!
Please know that you can do this!
I've heard of taking it one day at a time. But, how is that done? My brain defeats me with tomorrow. Also, is having the desire to have the desire enough to stop? Or am I just kidding myself. It wasn't enough for today.
to even begin learning where you need to get to to do this, you do have to notice those thoughts about the future and about the past that are going on in your mind. that is like the first step. noticing those thoughts. after i notice them then i let them pass. if they don't pass then i try to keep noticing them. and let them pass. sometimes i have to get busy doing somethiing to help me let them pass. going to a meeting or talking to someone on the phone can help me get through, as can writing, or cleaning the house or helping my children with something, or things like that.
My mind still jumps ahead if I let it.
To me one day at a time doesn't mean not acknowledging tomorrow at all - not only do people have lives to lead, but it's important to make plans and preempt any dangers, especially in early sobriety...
What I do acknowledge is that, right now, this minute? I can only deal with and affect today and whatever happens today...
Once I let worry about tomorrow or next week or the next six months or the dreaded 'forever' get me, fear starts to control me and my actions, I'll get overwhelmed by what I perceive as the enormity of the task...and I'm more than likely screwed.
Keep the task simple(r) - I will not use today
D
To me one day at a time doesn't mean not acknowledging tomorrow at all - not only do people have lives to lead, but it's important to make plans and preempt any dangers, especially in early sobriety...
What I do acknowledge is that, right now, this minute? I can only deal with and affect today and whatever happens today...
Once I let worry about tomorrow or next week or the next six months or the dreaded 'forever' get me, fear starts to control me and my actions, I'll get overwhelmed by what I perceive as the enormity of the task...and I'm more than likely screwed.
Keep the task simple(r) - I will not use today
D
Living in the moment is not easy for me. I tend to regret the past constantly and worry myself silly about the future, but often don't even take time to live "now". I'm getting better but still need to work on the 'now' concept.
I do plan on being sober for the rest of my life... but I'm going to get there one day at a time. I only 'get' one day at a time so have to live just for now - plan for the future, yes, but "live" in the now.
I do plan on being sober for the rest of my life... but I'm going to get there one day at a time. I only 'get' one day at a time so have to live just for now - plan for the future, yes, but "live" in the now.
I lived that way for close to two years.
I had to learn how to live without drugs.
I went to NA meetings for nearly two years after going through an outpatient rehab.
After being arrested (and not for the first time) I fessed up I was an addict to the authorities, got an attorney and sought treatment.
Only thing is....I only wanted to be done...only I wasn't quite done yet.
I faked my way through outpatient treatment while continuing to use.
I stayed out of prison.
I kept going to meetings because I was actually learning what to do and where the support is waiting for me when I was really ready and done.
I learned a great deal from NA while faking my clean time.
One of my closest friends I was still using with would not give me grief about going to meetings and faking....I would tell her "you know I am building a support system for when I really am done. I will have plenty of people with solid recovery reaching out to me. I am building my foundation even before I stop."
I was totally scared to stop...I had no idea what it would FEEL like to not be high anymore. See, while I was still using I was still projecting feelings. I used to attempt to control my feelings. When I couldnt understand how I would be if I couldnt control what I was feeling.....I was very afraid.
I learned that I was not really in control anyway and that it was just my fear.
It was all what I imagined and projected. Let me assure you I am not the only addict in recovery that will tell you we have a tendency to make a much bigger deal out of things we haven't done before than is really necessary.
I lived where you are....wanting the desire to stop and stay clean.
It sounds exactly and I mean EXACTLY like where I was just before I was really done.
After so much dishonesty and having been exposed to recovery and all its rewards I started to want it, to get the rewards from staying clean. I couldn't live the lie anymore. I stopped and indeed had a whole group of people available to support me. Not alot of my plans had ever worked, but this one did! I had managed to "keep coming back" to meetings just as they'd invited me to. I had learned from them and felt safe. I could try this "not using" thing and felt ok with it...notice I said felt?
That day came on November 27th 2005. I haven't used any mind or mood altering drugs in over three years.
Today I can FEEL one day at a time.
I had to stop .....go with out using for just the first day....then the next, then the next...one day at a time. Eventually, and not all that long later, with going to NA meetings daily, getting a sponsor, I started step work.
It wasn't all that long before I could really identify my real feelings and realized when I was projecting feelings.
I had to consider I used from age 12 to age 40...so 28 years compared to 3 to 6 months into my recovery and having a pretty good period of getting to know what my real feelings were as opposed to projected ones, this was doable! I have grown so much in my recovery. I continue to work the steps and continue to grow.
Today I feel love.
That's why I sought recovery. I could no longer feel love.
It's good to feel today.....I cant be in yesterday or tomorrow. All we really have is NOW.
NOW is the only time we ever really feel any of our emotions.
In recovery we learn to stay in the present to enjoy truly living.
It made sense to me I could learn how to live without drugs because I had in fact learned to live with drugs
I think it's a good sign to be where you are ....all you have to do now is decide you are done!
Peace,
Missybuns
I had to learn how to live without drugs.
I went to NA meetings for nearly two years after going through an outpatient rehab.
After being arrested (and not for the first time) I fessed up I was an addict to the authorities, got an attorney and sought treatment.
Only thing is....I only wanted to be done...only I wasn't quite done yet.
I faked my way through outpatient treatment while continuing to use.
I stayed out of prison.
I kept going to meetings because I was actually learning what to do and where the support is waiting for me when I was really ready and done.
I learned a great deal from NA while faking my clean time.
One of my closest friends I was still using with would not give me grief about going to meetings and faking....I would tell her "you know I am building a support system for when I really am done. I will have plenty of people with solid recovery reaching out to me. I am building my foundation even before I stop."
I was totally scared to stop...I had no idea what it would FEEL like to not be high anymore. See, while I was still using I was still projecting feelings. I used to attempt to control my feelings. When I couldnt understand how I would be if I couldnt control what I was feeling.....I was very afraid.
I learned that I was not really in control anyway and that it was just my fear.
It was all what I imagined and projected. Let me assure you I am not the only addict in recovery that will tell you we have a tendency to make a much bigger deal out of things we haven't done before than is really necessary.
I lived where you are....wanting the desire to stop and stay clean.
It sounds exactly and I mean EXACTLY like where I was just before I was really done.
After so much dishonesty and having been exposed to recovery and all its rewards I started to want it, to get the rewards from staying clean. I couldn't live the lie anymore. I stopped and indeed had a whole group of people available to support me. Not alot of my plans had ever worked, but this one did! I had managed to "keep coming back" to meetings just as they'd invited me to. I had learned from them and felt safe. I could try this "not using" thing and felt ok with it...notice I said felt?
That day came on November 27th 2005. I haven't used any mind or mood altering drugs in over three years.
Today I can FEEL one day at a time.
I had to stop .....go with out using for just the first day....then the next, then the next...one day at a time. Eventually, and not all that long later, with going to NA meetings daily, getting a sponsor, I started step work.
It wasn't all that long before I could really identify my real feelings and realized when I was projecting feelings.
I had to consider I used from age 12 to age 40...so 28 years compared to 3 to 6 months into my recovery and having a pretty good period of getting to know what my real feelings were as opposed to projected ones, this was doable! I have grown so much in my recovery. I continue to work the steps and continue to grow.
Today I feel love.
That's why I sought recovery. I could no longer feel love.
It's good to feel today.....I cant be in yesterday or tomorrow. All we really have is NOW.
NOW is the only time we ever really feel any of our emotions.
In recovery we learn to stay in the present to enjoy truly living.
It made sense to me I could learn how to live without drugs because I had in fact learned to live with drugs
I think it's a good sign to be where you are ....all you have to do now is decide you are done!
Peace,
Missybuns
Last edited by Missybuns; 12-06-2008 at 01:33 PM.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West Palm Beach, fl
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I think the key to taking it one day at a time is not allowing yourself to feel overwhelmed by the Bigger task at hand. Often times when WE decide to go into recovery we think about the "BIG PICTURE" and that thought can be rather intimidating. I think rather you focus on getting through one day and let that idea become ritual. Before you know it time(Days, weeks, months) have passed and your confidence and will to succeed grows greater.
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