I think my son may have finally hit bottom!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: greenfield, wi
Posts: 19
I think my son may have finally hit bottom!
My 17 yr old son, a senior in high school, was caught stealing $300+ from a kids' backpack at school. He just saw a jewelry box in the backpack & thought all day about checking out what's inside, & sure enough, a kid brought all that cash to school to buy an XBox after school. So here's my son pre-meditating all day, even though he'd been clean for 3 days straight, the longest since July, & he rejoiced when he found the $ because he was "out of weed"! 2 other kids saw him go in the backpack. I know he's gotten his money for various drugs by stealing, for instance our apartment complex has a soda machine that gives out too much change...some trick he discovered. He would get $5 for buying a 60cent soda, or som'n like that. But he never gets caught! Well now thank God he got caught! I always said this is what it would take. Well, the principals & school's police liaison officer met with my son & after some drilling he confessed & pulled the cash from his pants.
Even through all this, hints of my old son came through: he wanted to have the kid that he stole from come to the office & he wanted to confess to him & give him the $ back & apologize. The school was just going to do it themselves but my son insisted. He has a 5-day suspension, & we have a pre-expulsion meeting on Monday. But he got lucky, even through all this, because the principals & teachers & even the officer know the kind of boy he used to be. They all know he's been using for over a year, & they all have been concerned. (Not concerned enough to offer help, though, but maybe they don't know how?...) The officer is going to do a "1st Offender's Contract" & instead of arresting him right away, we're going to draw up an agreement, & if my son fails he will be booked & it will go on his permanent record. He does not want that! He does have a $555 fine & a court date in January. So of course one of the things in the agreeement will be that he has to quit. He has been in outpatient rehab at 2-3x per week, & he gets tested there weekly. We talked to his social worker there & he will be able to tell from the results if he has quit. So far so good. Plus, that night my son called all the people he got drugs from, that got them from him, & that he did them with, & told them to not call him anymore b/c he's quitting for real & then he deleted their ph#'s...he did this in front of me & it took an hour! He also gave me his stash & I got rid of it.
So these are all promising things & I am hopeful, but of course I am very guarded. I can only hope that this is his bottom & the only way is up from here.
Thanks for everyone's awesome responses, thoughts, & prayers!
I do have one question: he is having trouble getting to sleep & doesn't want to take any sleeping pills. His body was so used to being high he can't seem to settle down to sleep. It's driving him crazy & I'm worried. He doesn't want to take anything b/c he knows that's his weakness. He's abused so many pills. Any advice?
Even through all this, hints of my old son came through: he wanted to have the kid that he stole from come to the office & he wanted to confess to him & give him the $ back & apologize. The school was just going to do it themselves but my son insisted. He has a 5-day suspension, & we have a pre-expulsion meeting on Monday. But he got lucky, even through all this, because the principals & teachers & even the officer know the kind of boy he used to be. They all know he's been using for over a year, & they all have been concerned. (Not concerned enough to offer help, though, but maybe they don't know how?...) The officer is going to do a "1st Offender's Contract" & instead of arresting him right away, we're going to draw up an agreement, & if my son fails he will be booked & it will go on his permanent record. He does not want that! He does have a $555 fine & a court date in January. So of course one of the things in the agreeement will be that he has to quit. He has been in outpatient rehab at 2-3x per week, & he gets tested there weekly. We talked to his social worker there & he will be able to tell from the results if he has quit. So far so good. Plus, that night my son called all the people he got drugs from, that got them from him, & that he did them with, & told them to not call him anymore b/c he's quitting for real & then he deleted their ph#'s...he did this in front of me & it took an hour! He also gave me his stash & I got rid of it.
So these are all promising things & I am hopeful, but of course I am very guarded. I can only hope that this is his bottom & the only way is up from here.
Thanks for everyone's awesome responses, thoughts, & prayers!
I do have one question: he is having trouble getting to sleep & doesn't want to take any sleeping pills. His body was so used to being high he can't seem to settle down to sleep. It's driving him crazy & I'm worried. He doesn't want to take anything b/c he knows that's his weakness. He's abused so many pills. Any advice?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
I hope this is what it took for your son. He really needs to be in a program if he's going to stay successful - doing it on your own is just so hard and i think in some ways even harder from a teen because they rely so much on their peers and my son can change his mind so quickly from one idea to another. he would get scared when caught but then once he felt he's "gotten away with it" and the heat is off he'd go right back to his old ways.
The sleeping will come - take him to the doc and see what they say. They put my son on melatonin for a while and it helped. Also trying some relaxation tips can help. If he stays on the phone, computer, tv until late he'll have more trouble going to sleep. Exercise during the day is phenominal, get up earlier in the morning (stay away from naps - teenage boys love to nap but just like when they were toddlers it can keep them up late) taking a nice warm shower or bath before bed, having some milk or sleepy time tea can really relax as well - stay away from all caffenine or at least cut it off after around 3:00 p.m. Reading or journaling instead of watching tv before bedtime can be very relaxing and can help the mind and body to slow down. There are many ways to solve these types of medical problems without medicating - you just need to try some things untl he finds what works for him. Staying on a real schedule is best - they can get into a routine during the week and then on the weekend stay up late and have to start all over again.
The sleeping will come - take him to the doc and see what they say. They put my son on melatonin for a while and it helped. Also trying some relaxation tips can help. If he stays on the phone, computer, tv until late he'll have more trouble going to sleep. Exercise during the day is phenominal, get up earlier in the morning (stay away from naps - teenage boys love to nap but just like when they were toddlers it can keep them up late) taking a nice warm shower or bath before bed, having some milk or sleepy time tea can really relax as well - stay away from all caffenine or at least cut it off after around 3:00 p.m. Reading or journaling instead of watching tv before bedtime can be very relaxing and can help the mind and body to slow down. There are many ways to solve these types of medical problems without medicating - you just need to try some things untl he finds what works for him. Staying on a real schedule is best - they can get into a routine during the week and then on the weekend stay up late and have to start all over again.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It sounds like everyone is working with him on this and I hope he takes this opportunity to turn his life around.
Hugs to you for not interfering and letting him pay the consequences.
And no sleeping pills is a good idea. When he gets tired enough he will sleep. This is part of his withdrawal I think.
Hugs
Hugs to you for not interfering and letting him pay the consequences.
And no sleeping pills is a good idea. When he gets tired enough he will sleep. This is part of his withdrawal I think.
Hugs
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Sending prayers that this is his bottom.
As to the not sleeping. It will take time for his body to adjust to it's natural sleeping pattern. However, if he will drink it, have him make himself a cup of chamomile tea each evening about 1/2 hour before he would normally go to bed. He can add a little sweetener, or honey if he cannot handle the taste straight. This will help him relax and get more into a sleeping mode.
If after 20 minutes to a 1/2 hour of lying in bed and still awake, tell him it's okay to get out of bed. No sense tossing and turning. Tell him to get something to read, be it a magazine, book, whatever. I found for me, reading the Big Book of AA and/or NA was very good. It was so BORING, made me sleepy real quick, lol
The sleeping problem will abate, but like everything else in life, it will take time.
Again, prayers going out for you and your family.
Love and hugs,
As to the not sleeping. It will take time for his body to adjust to it's natural sleeping pattern. However, if he will drink it, have him make himself a cup of chamomile tea each evening about 1/2 hour before he would normally go to bed. He can add a little sweetener, or honey if he cannot handle the taste straight. This will help him relax and get more into a sleeping mode.
If after 20 minutes to a 1/2 hour of lying in bed and still awake, tell him it's okay to get out of bed. No sense tossing and turning. Tell him to get something to read, be it a magazine, book, whatever. I found for me, reading the Big Book of AA and/or NA was very good. It was so BORING, made me sleepy real quick, lol
The sleeping problem will abate, but like everything else in life, it will take time.
Again, prayers going out for you and your family.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southwestern, Pennsylvania
Posts: 210
It's great that he is actually 'getting it' and is feeling the sting of his consequences. My son did stuff like this in High School, unfortunately he didn't get it and it was the beginning of his downfall into addiction. Keep up the good work of holding him to his consequences and God Bless..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: greenfield, wi
Posts: 19
[QUOTE=winnie12;2013671]I hope this is what it took for your son. He really needs to be in a program if he's going to stay successful - doing it on your own is just so hard and i think in some ways even harder from a teen because they rely so much on their peers and my son can change his mind so quickly from one idea to another. he would get scared when caught but then once he felt he's "gotten away with it" and the heat is off he'd go right back to his old ways.
I forgot to mention, he has been in outpatient rehab 2-3xper week for a month & will continue, as long as the insurance allows! :-(
Thank you sooooo much for your post & advice!!
I forgot to mention, he has been in outpatient rehab 2-3xper week for a month & will continue, as long as the insurance allows! :-(
Thank you sooooo much for your post & advice!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
you may want to look into your local mental health resources when the insurance runs out - many of them offer free services to help teens. my county will even pick them up from school to go to outpatient and drive them home. and its not just for people with low income. if they dont have the resources there they typically will have referrals for places that work on sliding scales or have charity/government funding.
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