It's all over...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 209
It's all over...
but the crying and signing of the paperwork. I am almost divorced and single (wow...haven't said I was single since I was 16!). Today was a dreary and rainy day which pretty much suited my mood as I walked into the courtroom.
Of course since he's in jail we had to wait for him to be transported from the jail to the courthouse. During that time my lawyer and his lawyer (who he just got this week btw and who btw tried unsuccessfully to continue the case AGAIN) talked back and forth trying to reach an agreement we could all live with.
Nothing his lawyer came up with was unacceptable. They actually worked pretty well together. My lawyer let his lawyer listen to the tapes I had where he threatened to burn our house down. In those same tapes he pretty much called me every name in the book. Nothing like the sweet names he used to call me.
They reached an agreement right before the deputy brought him to the courtroom. His lawyer told him what they had come up with and he agreed to everything! Needless to say I was shocked! I was so worried we would have to sell our house but by the grace of God my son and I can stay here. The house will be MINE! I was so worried we wouldn't have a place to live. Everything was agreed upon from child support to visitation. It went so much smoother than I thought. THANK YOU GOD!
I did have to get up on the stand and answer a few simple questions...including why I felt I could no longer be married to this man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. That was hard.
It was also hard to see him sitting there yet again in his jail "uniform". He hadn't shaved in a while and he looked exhausted. I would have never imagined that he would go from a police office to an inmate.
Before I left the courthouse (and I was trying to leave quickly), I hugged his mother and told her I loved her. I hadn't even seen her in over a year. I hugged his sister too and told her how much I wish for him to get better. I don't know what they think about me, but it really doesn't matter. I know I have always loved them like they were my biological family (even if I haven't always agreed with them).
Except for signing the papers I am about to start a new chapter in my life. For better or worse, it's all me now. And my son. If anyone had ever told me this would happen to me I would have laughed at them. But, here I am.
So, watch out world 'cause here I come.
Sue
Of course since he's in jail we had to wait for him to be transported from the jail to the courthouse. During that time my lawyer and his lawyer (who he just got this week btw and who btw tried unsuccessfully to continue the case AGAIN) talked back and forth trying to reach an agreement we could all live with.
Nothing his lawyer came up with was unacceptable. They actually worked pretty well together. My lawyer let his lawyer listen to the tapes I had where he threatened to burn our house down. In those same tapes he pretty much called me every name in the book. Nothing like the sweet names he used to call me.
They reached an agreement right before the deputy brought him to the courtroom. His lawyer told him what they had come up with and he agreed to everything! Needless to say I was shocked! I was so worried we would have to sell our house but by the grace of God my son and I can stay here. The house will be MINE! I was so worried we wouldn't have a place to live. Everything was agreed upon from child support to visitation. It went so much smoother than I thought. THANK YOU GOD!
I did have to get up on the stand and answer a few simple questions...including why I felt I could no longer be married to this man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. That was hard.
It was also hard to see him sitting there yet again in his jail "uniform". He hadn't shaved in a while and he looked exhausted. I would have never imagined that he would go from a police office to an inmate.
Before I left the courthouse (and I was trying to leave quickly), I hugged his mother and told her I loved her. I hadn't even seen her in over a year. I hugged his sister too and told her how much I wish for him to get better. I don't know what they think about me, but it really doesn't matter. I know I have always loved them like they were my biological family (even if I haven't always agreed with them).
Except for signing the papers I am about to start a new chapter in my life. For better or worse, it's all me now. And my son. If anyone had ever told me this would happen to me I would have laughed at them. But, here I am.
So, watch out world 'cause here I come.
Sue
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Sue)))
I'm so glad it went well and you and your son will get to continue living in the house. I also think that what you did with his mom and sister was a very loving thing to do. Often, when we end a relationship with someone, it is sometimes hard to keep those relationships with the family, but I hope it works out.
You will probably still have some sad times, but it's okay...they don't last. It's just part of the process we go through, and the good days far outweigh the sad. I know how worried you were about today, so I hope you are feeling a huge sense of relief.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm so glad it went well and you and your son will get to continue living in the house. I also think that what you did with his mom and sister was a very loving thing to do. Often, when we end a relationship with someone, it is sometimes hard to keep those relationships with the family, but I hope it works out.
You will probably still have some sad times, but it's okay...they don't last. It's just part of the process we go through, and the good days far outweigh the sad. I know how worried you were about today, so I hope you are feeling a huge sense of relief.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Great relief for you to have this experience over and done with at last, and you survived it all. It does hurt to see someone you loved or even still do, looking anything but at their best and in a place you don't want to see them. Alcohol makes choices for loved ones that leads them and us into awful situations, and we are all helpless at these times.
Your actions to his mum and sister speak louder than words. Well done.
I wish you all the best here on in, and may you have a real life at last.
God bless you all
Your actions to his mum and sister speak louder than words. Well done.
I wish you all the best here on in, and may you have a real life at last.
God bless you all
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I'm so happy that everything turned out in your favor and so thrilled that you have this opportunity to start a brand new life.
But still it's a bittersweet victory. I'll say a prayer for your husband that he'll find the strength to achieve lasting sobriety. He's so very lost. I feel sorry for him.
But still it's a bittersweet victory. I'll say a prayer for your husband that he'll find the strength to achieve lasting sobriety. He's so very lost. I feel sorry for him.
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Hi Suzieq,
I'm relieved the hearing went so smoothly for you. Its not an easy thing to do but you sure sound ready for your freedom. Sending you my best wishes for you and your son.:ghug
I'm relieved the hearing went so smoothly for you. Its not an easy thing to do but you sure sound ready for your freedom. Sending you my best wishes for you and your son.:ghug
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
sorry he deteriorated so much. sometimes it is the court that intervenes as the addicted mind will not understand reason or logic.
he should not be allowed to carry a gun again since all it takes is some booze to make him lose control and sanity. perhaps a desk job.
so sorry for everyone in your family. alcohol has already torn my family apart.
he should not be allowed to carry a gun again since all it takes is some booze to make him lose control and sanity. perhaps a desk job.
so sorry for everyone in your family. alcohol has already torn my family apart.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 209
Thanks everyone for the well wishes.
FD, it was a bittersweet victory. That house is the one we built together after we lost our first house to a fire. That's one of the reasons I wanted it so badly. There are so many good memories in that house. They certainly outweigh the bad.
I too feel sorry for him. I want nothing more than from him to be sober one day. I want him to be able to lead a happy and fulfilling life. I know that I did what I could to "help" him. There was nothing else I could do but save myself and our son.
Thanks again everyone!
FD, it was a bittersweet victory. That house is the one we built together after we lost our first house to a fire. That's one of the reasons I wanted it so badly. There are so many good memories in that house. They certainly outweigh the bad.
I too feel sorry for him. I want nothing more than from him to be sober one day. I want him to be able to lead a happy and fulfilling life. I know that I did what I could to "help" him. There was nothing else I could do but save myself and our son.
Thanks again everyone!
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