My First AA Meeting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Biloxi, MS
Posts: 15
My First AA Meeting!
Last night was the end of day 3. It was sheer agony. I couldn't sleep--again. I was wracked by fear, anxiety and pure panic. Something horrible was about to open it's terrible mouth and swallow me. I had the insane urge to go running into the street, screaming. Had to wake my poor husband and mother(lives next door, thank heaven) and had her give me some ativan to calm down.
Being a binge drinker, I've gone through withdrawal before, but nothing like this. I made up my mind to finally take action. Saw my Dr this am and confessed my 15 year bout with alcoholism. I had never told my Drs before--always going in for "depression", "nerves", etc. Took the pills and still drank. He gave me an Rx for the withdrawal, told me it would last about a week and then simply asked: "What are you going to do about it?" I told him I was going to AA--today. He squeezed my shoulder and said "90 meetings in 90 days."
I was scared to death to walk into that building, sure it was filled with hopeless, beaten down derelicts. Was I ever wrong! They all looked like me--almost. They looked HAPPY! They were filled with a calm, inner peace, something I've never experienced. Everyone was friendly and warm. Nothing was asked of me, I need only to listen as they told the stories of what brought them to AA and what they had taken away from it.
After the meeting there were lots of hugs--I do not like to be touched by strangers or even people I know--but I welcomed their embraces, it just seemed natural, we all had a common bond. I was given lots of information and phone numbers to call if I needed help and the offers were sincere.
I decided to go to a second meeting this pm and had the same experience. Many of these people had been dragged lower than I've ever been and yet they had joy that I've never had. Most of all they had freedom from this disease of alcoholism and that's what I want and that's why I'll go back.
Peggy
Being a binge drinker, I've gone through withdrawal before, but nothing like this. I made up my mind to finally take action. Saw my Dr this am and confessed my 15 year bout with alcoholism. I had never told my Drs before--always going in for "depression", "nerves", etc. Took the pills and still drank. He gave me an Rx for the withdrawal, told me it would last about a week and then simply asked: "What are you going to do about it?" I told him I was going to AA--today. He squeezed my shoulder and said "90 meetings in 90 days."
I was scared to death to walk into that building, sure it was filled with hopeless, beaten down derelicts. Was I ever wrong! They all looked like me--almost. They looked HAPPY! They were filled with a calm, inner peace, something I've never experienced. Everyone was friendly and warm. Nothing was asked of me, I need only to listen as they told the stories of what brought them to AA and what they had taken away from it.
After the meeting there were lots of hugs--I do not like to be touched by strangers or even people I know--but I welcomed their embraces, it just seemed natural, we all had a common bond. I was given lots of information and phone numbers to call if I needed help and the offers were sincere.
I decided to go to a second meeting this pm and had the same experience. Many of these people had been dragged lower than I've ever been and yet they had joy that I've never had. Most of all they had freedom from this disease of alcoholism and that's what I want and that's why I'll go back.
Peggy
new and scared. :(
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: chicago, il
Posts: 114
Peggy that is so awesome I am so happy for you!!!! And jealous! 
I went to my first meeting tonight, well..attempted to, I got there and couldn't get up the nerve to get out of the car and go in.. but I did sit and watch as a few people pulled in and parked and walked up to the door, and i thought the same thing...wow, they look "normal". hahaha.
just curious - what did your dr. give you for withdrawal?
well congratulations and keep going! i am hearing from most people that AA is the way to go.
I went to my first meeting tonight, well..attempted to, I got there and couldn't get up the nerve to get out of the car and go in.. but I did sit and watch as a few people pulled in and parked and walked up to the door, and i thought the same thing...wow, they look "normal". hahaha.
just curious - what did your dr. give you for withdrawal?
well congratulations and keep going! i am hearing from most people that AA is the way to go.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
What good news Peggy....
AA? an awesome adventure for me.
Please do use those phone numbers if you feel like drinking.
Use them just to say 'Hi" or to ask questions.
We regular AA members are honored when someone calls.
It helps keep us connected and sober...
AA? an awesome adventure for me.
Please do use those phone numbers if you feel like drinking.
Use them just to say 'Hi" or to ask questions.
We regular AA members are honored when someone calls.
It helps keep us connected and sober...
new and scared. :(
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: chicago, il
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by Jakey 
Thanks for sharing Peggy! Glad to hear it went so well, I think I need to find a meeting to go to myself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glitzville
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by peggysue58
I was wracked by fear, anxiety and pure panic.
When I finally got the courage to walk through the door to my first AA meeting I can remember how safe I felt. What a relief!
I'm so proud of you for your courage. No looking back now, lady.
Keep us posted, please.
Donna
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Peggy,
Yeah! The ceiling didn't fall on you, people didn't laugh or point at you, lightening didn't strike you... and you walked outta there with some hope! Good for you, friend! Not saying that AA is for everyone, but for those it is it's like we've "come home" after awhile!
Glad you took that step and are grabbing on to the support out there! I went to a meeting last night and again tonight too. Last night a guy celebrated 19 years and was in tears at the end of his share. Tonight, a guy who has 1/2 day clean from opiates was in the room and shared. On both occassions, I related to these 2 guys in one form or another! We had the a meeting after "the meeting" and it was just so great re-connecting with people -- people that are doing this for years, months, weeks, days or even hours!
Look forward to hearing more from you soon, girl!
Peace & hugs,
Nicki
:atv
Yeah! The ceiling didn't fall on you, people didn't laugh or point at you, lightening didn't strike you... and you walked outta there with some hope! Good for you, friend! Not saying that AA is for everyone, but for those it is it's like we've "come home" after awhile!
Glad you took that step and are grabbing on to the support out there! I went to a meeting last night and again tonight too. Last night a guy celebrated 19 years and was in tears at the end of his share. Tonight, a guy who has 1/2 day clean from opiates was in the room and shared. On both occassions, I related to these 2 guys in one form or another! We had the a meeting after "the meeting" and it was just so great re-connecting with people -- people that are doing this for years, months, weeks, days or even hours!
Look forward to hearing more from you soon, girl!
Peace & hugs,
Nicki
:atv
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,151
Peggy, great to hear this. They say the only meeting we're ever late for is our first meeting! I couldn't get sober or stay sober on my own. AA gives us a tool kit for daily living, a program of Recovery, support, Friendship and Fun!! Keep Coming (going) Back!!
Breathing
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Nola
Posts: 97
Peggy thats wonderful. I had the same fears before my 1st meeting in 18 years, and they were squelched immediately, then I had them again when I came back to New Orleans, they too were smashed flat. I treasure my morning meetings, it gives me a great start to another 23 hours of sobriety. I come away thinking about similarities and not feeling alone in all of this.
I'm so happy for you!!
Kim
I'm so happy for you!!
Kim
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
right on Peggy ....... keep going and growing w/ soberity .....And thanks for shareing your story , theres so many out there that a scared of that " first meeting " Maybe your share will inspire someone to take that first step thu the door too " keep commin back , it works if you work it !
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
What is it that makes attending the "First AA Meeting" so scary? Fear of the unknown? Fear that, once we've walked through that door, we'll maybe be making a commitment to stay sober? Fear that "they'll know"? Fear that I won't "fit in"?
Isn't it wonderful that, for most of us I drank for 32 years, and I knew how to stop...I tried regularly over the years...lasted a few days at a time. But, the secret was staying stopped, which I never quite got the hang of...that is, until I made AA a part of my life. That was a little over 29 years ago! I sincerely hope your AA experiences will continue to be positive. Sorry I won't be around to celebrate your own 29 years...so, I'll just offer my congratulations in advance.
Isn't it wonderful that, for most of us
it is it's like we've "come home" after awhile!
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