sicilia1414

Hi everyone,

I want to apologize in advance, I am new to all this stuff so if I am posting in an inappropriate area I apologize in advance.

I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. I am 29, single, from Chicago. I come from a looong line of alcoholics and have finally realized that I have a seriously problem and need to get help. I don't know were to start or what exactly to do, but this seems like a good start.

Any type of guidance or advice you can provide would be very much appreciated. I am alone, scared sh*tless, and completely lost.

Thanks in advance.

Nicole

TryingSoHard

Hi Sicilia, and welcome to SR.

Speaking up and posting here is a great first step. There are a ton of really helpful, supportive people here. You're NOT alone. We'll help you to not feel so scared and lost anymore.

*hugs*

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family.

You are in the right place. Look around and read and post as you desire.

I found the 2nd sticky post under the Alcoholism section very helpful to me when I was ready to give up alcohol. That post contains excerpts from the book "under the influence". That helped me understand why I could not control my drinking.

Welcome, make yourself at home.

Anna

Hi Nicole,

Welcome!

Scared, alone and lost pretty much sums up how I felt when I realized I couldn't stop drinking. You have found a great place for support, so keep reading and posting.

Fiona630

Hi Nicole!

Welcome! Keep posting. It really helps to put out ur feelings. U will find that ur so NOT alone. So many others feel the way u do. It helps to get u through the day.

sicilia1414

thank you all so so much for your kind words.

I am sitting at home thinking about all of this and my mind is spinning. I cannot imagine a day without alcohol. Just going to the store, doing laundry, or cleaning my house sober seems scary to me. It sounds so silly.

Just got off the phone with a "friend." I tried to open up and explain to him that I have a serious problem. He laughed and told me I was crazy. No one realizes how addicted I am. Ninety nine percent of the time I am drunk and no one even knows. I talk to people on the phone, go shopping at the store, and sit in meeting at work and I am drunk.

I cannot believe it has gotten to this point. I always thought I wasn't an alcoholic, I just had anxiety issues and drank to cover up my anxiety attacks. I just assumed that once I got my anxiety under control the drinking would stop. boy was I naive about that.

coffeenut

Welcome, Nicole. Keep reading and posting, it really does help!

CarolD

Welcome.....good to know you are seeking some answers

Here is the link mentioned above by Pelican
they are exceprts from the book that convinced me to quit

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Also in Alcoholism...we are sharing about fear.
You might find that interesting.

sR has support and information and Yes! you too can quit.
.

sicilia1414

thanks so much carol! i was just over in the fear section, it is so amazing how we are all so similar..i can't believe i thought i was crazy and was the only one in the world who felt these feelings and thoughts.

sheesh.

TryingSoHard

No way. One thing you will definitely learn here is that you are neither crazy nor alone.

CarolD

I noticed on another thread you were considering AA.
While each meeting has a differnt ambience...
here are general facts about meetings.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html

No...you never have to speak in AA
although you may choose to introduce yourself.
"I'm Nicole ...I'm new and here to listen"
or..."I pass" is usually sufficient

You may want to check with your doctor
before quitting abruptly. Always a wise idea.


Looking forward to seeing you here again

Horselover

Welcome Nicole!

I had anxiety too and lots of it. I have been sober 200 and some days and the anxiety is gone. Poof! I would say my drinking caused my anxiety. That is my opinion any ways and I too couldn't imagine dealing with life without alcohol. It can be done and believe me life's colors are much more vivid without the booze. You can do it and by the way, I lived for several years in Chi town. Really glad to have you here on SR!

Mariposa18

Welcome to SR Nicole~ Stick around, this place is great and incredibly helpful.

Good Luck and Stay Strong~ I know we are both on Day 2, we can do it =)

sicilia1414

Thank you all so so much for your support. I ended up sleeping on my couch last night, for some reason i felt "safer" being next to my computer, in case i started to worry or get nervous, i could hop on here real quick.

It ended up being a bad idea, both of my dogs tried to squeeze on the couch with me, and then my upstairs neighbors (retired couple) must have decided to put on cemet shoes and walk around and play marbles. needless to say I didn't get much sleep. I woke up this morning a little nervous....i am trying to take it one day at a time like they say but it's so hard to not think about the future!!

I came home for lunch right now and have to be getting back to work shortly...

the hardest time of the day is going to be after work. For the past few years, every night after work i stop at my parents house on my way home to hang out with my dad. since he is retired now, all he pretty much does in hang out in the gargage and smoke his cigarettes and drinks red wine and listens to Frank Sinatra. I enjoy this time with him because it is the only time we ever have to bond. He is a big drinker and rarely leaves his house. Now that I am trying not to drink, it saddens me to think that I am going to miss out on time spent with him. He is not going to be around that much longer so I almost feel guilty for not going over there and drinking with him.

Well, i am writing much more than I had planned, thank you all again...

getr345

It's so nice to see that everyday is somebody's FIRST day.

Welcome aboard Nicole.

beachbum617

Welcome. Today is my second day too. I think if you can avoid your parent's house for a few days, etc. that maybe you'll feel stronger and be able to stop by later? Hang in there and keep in touch!!

sicilia1414

Well right now is the hardest time for me....this sucks!!! I got off of work, and it was SO HARD to tell my dad i wasnt' coming over. I used the excuse that I had to go grocery shopping. I never realized how ANNOYING little kids are when I am sober...arrrrgh.

so now I am home and plan on stuffing my face with good food to occupy my time. but these craving are crazy!!! it's like all i can think about is having a drink, and trying to justify it in my mind that i don't need to stop, this is all crazy...

but i know i need to, and i plan on hanging in there, it's just so hard!

Pelican

What feels like crazy is normal to us here!

Carol D has tons of good advice! She timed her cravings in early sobriety. Found out each one only lasted minutes. So she made a plan to get through each craving, like:
eat a hard candy
cold beverage

I know for me, I needed to find different things to do when I would otherwise be drinking. The room I am sitting in has a new coat of paint and my file cabinet is organized now!

Sleeping can be tough in the early part of sobriety. Especially if we were drinking ourselves to sleep! Try some tea. I like vanilla chamomile. I also like green tea with lemonade during the day! Very relaxing.

MyDaughterHouse

Hi.
This is a great site. I just wanted to say hi and thank you to all the threads I have so far had a chance to read.

sicilia1414

Thanks Pelican, I am realizing about the sleep thing. I am going on about 3 hours from last night.

I drink Chamomile tea but I have never had VANILLA!! yum that sounds so good I am going to take a trip to the healthfood store tomorrow!!