jerect

So this morning my AH shocked me when he got up and went to an AA meeting.. this is the first time he has been to a meeting in about six months.

Am I happy? I want to be but I also don't want to get my hopes up to much. I have been down this road before and everytime I have ended up disappointed because my AH usually ends up relapsing and the merry-go-round continues.

This time I'm going to do something different though.. I'm going to just stay out of his recovery.. I'm happy that just for today that he decided to go to a meeting but I'm not going to have the expectations that he will go every day and get a sponsor and work his program correctly. That way I wont be disappointed when he starts finding excuses as to why he doesn't need AA or a program.

Instead I'm going to continue to work on me and my program. I'm not really happy with the alanon group that meets in my town but I located another one that is about a 30 minute drive from me that has a lot more meetings then just one day a week like the one here has. Now that gas has gone down I can afford to drive over there a couple of times a week. I have decided that it is time for me to get a sponsor and start working on my 4th step and since there is no one in my group here in town that I would pick for my sponsor it is time for me to expand my horizons a little bit.. will this help my AH at all?.. nope.... but it will help me..

The only thing I can do for my AH is to surrender him to my HP which i have already done... I can't think of better hands for him to be in and Thank Goodness he is out of my hands now..

So now I have let all my expectations go about my AH and his recovery.. it's his recovery and if he chooses to utilize the tools that are available to him to get clean and live a sober life then good for him and if he doesn't, then how sad for him but it is not my responsiblity to help him anymore.

Impurrfect

(((Jerect)))

Good for you!! It's amazingly freeing when we give up those expectations and just let them work on their own recovery....like a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Troubledone

jerect

I am strengthened by your approach to this. I am working on this myself and find your attitude inspiring. I, too, want to be able to do this with my addict. I'm getting there, but still have some work to do on me.

thanks for sharing it.

hope213

good recovery work, you sound good. prayers for you both.

dogged

its very liberating when one decides to let go of thier expectations,,its like gaining yourself back and you feel a hugh weight lifted off of your shoulder.

rozied

Dear Jerect, That is a very good healthy thing to do. I am rooting for you. If he wants to get better it is up to him.
Life will definitely get better for you now regardless if he chooses to get well.
Love,
Diane

cessy68

Jerect,
I'm glad things are getting better for you.... I know the merry-go-round, or at times the roller coaster... it stinks.

I hope that you continue to work on you, feel better, and more fabulous everyday within yourself!
Love,
Cessy

greeteachday

Jerect - Your approach sounds great! I think the major turning point for me was when I realized I needed to put as much...well more, into my own recovery as i did trying to orchestrate and control my daughter's.

I think taking that step and getting a sponsor will really help you move forward. Hugs