blizzard77

Well I spoke with AH since he's left. I knew he would call or text over Thanksgiving. Texted asking how I was? I said good. He said I worry about you. I said Don't. When he got off work we talked for all but ten minutes. I told him that I was filing for divorce ASAP (you have to wait a yr here in NC but since he was only back 6 months) I' going to talk to a lawyer when I have the $$$ after the holidays. He said I don't want to talk to you if you're going to make me feel like a bigger piece of **** than I already do. I said that was not my intention to add to his bad feelings. I did want to comment on him saying I didn't provide him security. I said that's not true you only said that cause you were lying to me daily about your use and knew I was going to find out eventually and that was a deal breaker. Something he knew I would not tolerate well before he came back. He said yeah you're right. Asked what I was doing and I said staying busy. I made a my space page because I have 9 nieces and nephews and my step kids that I keep in contact with (they all have their dressed up "pimped" out pages). He said I have to go now I can't hear about you dating. :wtf2
He said he was working a lot and just trying to survive. Asked me if I wanted his address and I said no. I told him that I didn't want to remain friends with him or have any contact with him for a long time if ever. He said OK well I will always love and care about you. I said Bye. Then about 4am I get a text with his address. I said I didn't need it. What does he think?? I'm going to sent him love letters or Christmas gifts? He didn't ask for the things that he left here like his computer, TV, clothes pretty much everything and there was no way I was offering to mail it to him. Whatever!!!!!!!! He sounded full of shame and guilt. Boo Hoo!! I wanted to say enjoy your freezing cold winter in Buffalo but I didn't.

Impurrfect

Good for you!

Next time he texts you, just delete it before you even open it (if you can) or block it from your phone. Sounds like he will continue to try to contact you, whether you want to hear from him or not. I don't know if you're like me, but I would have the good days, where I was strong, and could handle it, but also have a few days where hearing from him would bring me down, so I had to make sure I wouldn't hear from you.

You sound great...keep it up!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

hope213

you did good.it is best to drop all ties with him. they ARE all about blame & you do not need or deserve it. prayers,

Troubledone

blizzard

I don't know if there is ok or not ok - just what is and what meaning we make of it.

I'd like to invite you to think about - In what ways was the exchange satisfying for you and in what ways was it not satisfying.

I think looking at both sides helps us to understand why we allow contact. If there were no satisfying aspects of it, you probably wouldn't allow it (unless you are a masochist, which is a completely different discussion).

So, if you can see both what is satisfying and what is not satisfying, then if you choose to answer his calls and texts at least you'll be aware of why and you can consciously evaluate the results.

This awareness over time will either let you feel better about yourself when you do allow contact because you'll know why you're doing it (and often you'll also be able to really look at the outcomes based on what you hoped for), or it will give you the insight you need to let go.

God bless, good luck.... Don't beat yourself up, we're all just trying the best we can.

blizzard77

It was satisfying In that he admitted that he was placing the blame on me for his feelings of insecurity which were a result of lying and using behind my back. It was unsatisfying to hear the complete denial in his words. Thanks for making me look at it from this perspective!!

rozied

I have been in your shoes and IMHO it is better to break off all contact.